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[ongoing] The Last Promise (11/??) - Aimiya
Title: The Last Promise (11/??)
Author: ica_90
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
antimiya88
Pairing: [friendship] Aimiya, [One-sided(?)] Sakuraiba, NinoXOC
Genre: Angst, AU, college-life
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A story revolves around the friendship of two boys. Friendship begins from an unexpected beginning, but no one knows how it’ll end
Warning: character death ahead.
Extra notes: earlier, i've mention that this fic is dedicated todiahlee486 riida91 and nadzsanz... this almost reaching its ending guys. huhuhu...
CHAPTER 11
I prepare myself for the possibility of another break down when I go to visit him the next day. He greets me with his usual bright smile, though I could see how pale he is at the moment. I step into the room. None of us refers to the topic he brought up yesterday, but I know, any moment soon, he will.
“I’ve finished the assignment,” he says, pushing the clear folder with his assignment towards me. “Help me send it to my lecturer, will you?”
I nod, taking the assignment into my hand while pulling the chair next to the bed so that I can sit.
“How are you?” I ask reluctantly. He smiles.
“In the best possible shape, Nino”
“Try harder”
“I don’t think my heart will let me” he replies casually, as if it is something normal in everyone’s life. I decide to remain quiet after that, knowing that if I speak, I’m just gonna lead the discussion into a heated one.
I couldn’t read what exactly on the man’s mind when he kept directing our conversation towards the same point. At one moment, I’m sure that he’s trying to calm himself down for the decision he has made, but not long after that, I could sense doubt in him when every words he speaks shows how he was debating inside.
He stops talking at once, sighing before staring at me with plead in his eyes.
“I know you’re mad at me” he repeats what Yumi said to me yesterday. I still have the same answer.
“Wrong. I’m not mad. It’s more like I’m frustrated with your decision”
He fell silent. Just for a while though, until he bites his lips before he speaks again.
“I’m sorry for making such a selfish decision, Nino” he says, his hand finding mine. “But I can’t go with the one that the possibilities are almost zero, trying to wait only for a miracle; hoping for something to happen, when the result will never go the same way as we hope for… isn’t that painful?”
I raise my head to look at him. His expression is calm. After a while, I averted my gaze only to hear him sigh afterwards.
“Can you do me a favor?”
I look at him frowning.
“I want to meet her” he continues even when he saw me frowning even more. “Sakurai-san’s sister. Can you try to find where her room is?”
“Why?” I ask him shortly. He gives me a soft smile.
“I want to meet the one who’s gonna use my organ after me”
Again, I fall speechless. I lost counting how many times I have prayed for some strength. It surprised me how I could bear it and not break down in front of my childhood friend. But only God knows, how broken I am inside, thinking how hurt my best friend must be right now, and how hurt I am to think about the possibilities of losing him in a few months.
I lost counting of how many times I have prayed so that God can save my friend, heal him or a miracle happens in order to lead his life happily again. But I wasn’t sure if any of my prayers were heard by Him, now that I was watching my friend’s condition going from bad to worse.
God, can’t you please grant me just this one wish? Please safe my friend. He has suffered enough. Please let him has a happy life. That’s all I ask from you now.
***
Two knocks on the door, before a girl’s voice, really soft, invite us in. I slide the door open before I push the wheelchair with my friend sitting on it into the room.
“Aiba-san?” the girl asks, her eyes widen with surprise. Of course, it is an unexpected meeting. But I’m sure we’re the one who surprise more.
“You know me?” Aiba-chan asks. She nods confidently.
“Of course I know about you. Thank you for taking care of my troublesome brother. I hope he didn’t give you a hard time”
Oh girl, if only you knew how many times I kept holding myself from strangling that brother of yours.
Aiba-chan shakes his head.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s normal for a boss to be troublesome. But I think I was more troublesome to him” he says making the girl to laugh.
“My brother often tells me about you; especially about how you have been such a great help to him. He compliments you a lot too, telling us how your presence could calm him enough”
My eyes widen. Sakurai Sho said that? So why has he been so harsh in front of the said person?
Aiba-chan just laughs hearing all her words. I couldn’t tell if he was honest with the laugh or just being sarcastic. But he keeps on the conversation with the girl. From one topic to another, it was like a long lost friend meeting. And their topic varies, from how silly Sakurai-san can be, to how he was already bearing the responsibilities for their family’s company before returning back to the way Sakurai-san compliments Aiba-chan.
And here, I sense something in the way she talks. It’s not honest. Some of the points are, but some others tell me she’s hiding something.
“Why are you here, Aiba-san? I want to guess that you’re being nice, as my brother’s assistant and you just wanted to visit me but seeing you in a wheelchair, I couldn’t guess more wrong, could I?”
Aiba-chan smiles. He has been doing that a lot nowadays. Maybe it’s the way he figured that it calms him down.
“I’m a patient here”
“huh?”
“I’m sick. I’ve been here for more than a week now and I don’t know if I will ever have the chance to get discharged”
“Does my brother know?” she asks again. This time, Aiba-chan shakes his head.
“Well, he did visit me a few days ago. But he didn’t ask about it, so… I just didn’t mention it either”
“What a slowpoke is that old man. I’m gonna punch him once I meet him later” the girl says with a laugh. But it she stops it abruptly afterwards.
They stare at each other in silence. And when she frowns gasping, I know she finally got the hint.
“You… don’t tell me that…”
“Mai-chan. I’m gonna be the donor of your liver,” Aiba-chan speaks when the girl couldn’t continue with her words. Obviously, she is shocked.
“That… did you tell my brother about it?” she asks, sounded panicked as she utters the question. I could see how she is when Aiba-chan shakes his head.
“He doesn’t need to know about this, Mai-chan. I didn’t do this for him…” and then he paused. Slowly, he lowers his head, looking at his lap while biting his lower lip. After a while, he sighs.
“I lie. In the end, it’s all about him,”
“Aiba-san…”
“Between two men, the word love is impossible ne, Mai-san. Let alone one physical relationship,” slowly, he raises his head, facing the young girl.
“I never said this towards him. I know it’s gonna be meaningless. He’s straight, and I’m just choosing this crook way for my life. No matter how much hurt I might feel inside, it needs to stop, and since death was decided for me, I’m fine with it”
He pauses once before continue again.
“I love your brother. While I’m accepting the fact that I’m dying, I guess it’s normal as a human to have that greed inside. I still want to be by your brother’s side. Even just a part of me, it’s fine. If I donate my liver for you, at least this part will be living by his side. And that, is enough for me”
One long explanation. And I finally understand how big his love towards the man named Sakurai Sho is; the one who gave him nothing else than pain. Happiness maybe twice, but I’m sure it’s a small amount.
I could feel my eyes getting teary as I listen, thinking about everything he just said. It’s painful but I’m sure it’s double for the one who talks. Maybe I should listen to everything he wants to say without yelling him for all the decisions he has made.
But has he made the right ones being in that state of mind?
“My brother will be sad” Mai says after a while. Aiba-chan shakes his head. Slowly, he takes the girls hand into his, giving her assurance.
“He won’t know. He will know that I die due to my own disease, but he will never know that I donated my liver to you. Hence, I’m sure he will be happy. He wants you to be happy. And I, as his assistant, will help him to do that”
Again she pauses. While I keep telling myself to accept whatever he was saying no matter how ridiculous it may sound, he continues.
“I just… I only have one request”
The girl raises her head.
“Hmm?”
“Please take care of what I give to you properly. That’s all I could ask for”
I could see how the girl is deliberating to say something. But in the end, nothing left her lips. Everything ends in her throat. Her eyes are brimming with tears but none of them trail down her cheeks. She bites her lips, staring at the face of his brother’s assistant.
“Take care of your brother for me, ne” Aiba-chan ends the conversation before he glances at me, gesturing that it’s time to go now.
Slowly, I approached them, bowing a little to the person who’s on the bed before pulling my best friend out of the room.
The way to his room takes us much longer time than earlier. I wasn’t sure if the path was longer or it was us who were taking it slow.
The hallways echoed our footsteps, no one was around and the two of us were saying nothing. I’ll never know how long we stayed that way, perhaps since the moment we stepped out of the room. I’ve been holding my emotions inside while I’ll never find out what is in my best friend’s mind.
Maybe he’s more hurt than I could tell, even the thoughts he had were already too painful for me. Without realizing it, a drop of tears fell on my hands, followed by another one on the man’s shoulder.
“Nino…”
I walk slowly, facing him before slump on my knees. My tears fall messily on my face as I stare deeply into his empty eyes; empty as dead even though his heart is beating - maybe weakly. But his smile doesn’t show he’s weak. His smile was full of determination; determine to hide his own sadness from being shown.
“What will happen to us now, Aiba-chan?” I asked, while my tears couldn’t stop flowing. “You promised me Aiba. We’re going to graduate together. Find a job together. You told me you wanna be my best man! Why are you giving it up now?”
Aiba doesn’t answer.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry that I have to break that promise now Nino,” he says staring blankly. “But, will you promise me one last thing?”
I shake my head, sobbing, choking.
“Take care of yourself. Never let anyone hurt you. That’s all I ask from you,”
I wail as I bury my face on his lap. I couldn’t hold my tears anymore. It is like a broken dam.
****
“Seriously, Nino. That isn’t something that you should hide from us”
“There’s nothing we can do, Jun-kun. Unless some miracle happens that could keep him safe, there’s no hope. But at this point, I can tell that he has already given up”
I heard a tsk at the end of the line. I could feel Jun-kun was annoyed with everything; mostly with me for not telling him about Aiba-san. And then I heard him sigh.
“When are you going to the hospital again?”
“In 30 minutes. I’m free with my schedule today and I don’t have any classes tomorrow, so I decided to stay there”
“Good, we’re coming with you. We’ll see you in your room later” and the call ends.
I sigh. It has been a long time since I met both Jun-kun and Ohno-kun. It’s not that I want to hide anything from them, but perhaps I was too busy with everything, from classes to Aiba-chan, that I forgot to tell them about it.
And the moment Jun picked up his phone, all I received was a plain yell, asking me where I’ve been. I received twice the yell when I finished telling him about Aiba-san. I sigh again remembering that. I know I’ll receive another yell from him later, once he met me here.
I was putting the manga Aiba-chan requested for me to bring to him when I heard a knock on the door.
“You guys are too early. It isn’t 5 minutes since you ended the call, Jun-kun” I yell, trying to put some humor in my voice. But again, knocks on the door. I zipped my bag before I head to the door to reveal Sakurai-san standing in front of my room with his usual arrogant smirks once I open it.
The smile that I wore earlier faded, replaced now by a frown. The man makes his way into our room without being invited and it somehow gets on my nerves.
“Has he been discharged?” the senior asks. I roll my eyes.
“I never knew that he has the power to become invisible” i said slightly annoyed. He throws me a disgusted look.
“What’s wrong with him?” he shot me another question.
“Why would you care?” I glare at him. “Or why would you just act as if you really cared?”
“I’m the one asking the questions here, Ninomiya-san! A question should always have an answer!”
“No… because you don’t deserve to know anything about him!” I shot back at him. “Why would you care for someone to whom you always gave nothing but pain? You hurt him again and again in the past and then you suddenly act as if you care when you don’t! Do you know how much have you hurt him?”
The man glares at me. His shoulders move up and down and I’m sure he’s holding his anger inside of him at the moment. But I couldn’t care less. Instead of that I just shot him another question.
“If you don’t love him, why did you have to make everything you could to give him hope that you will return his feelings?”
I could see him startled by the question. His angered expression softened into a confused one before he whispers his curiosity.
“Return his feelings?” he frowns. What do you mean- he loves me?”
I gritted my teeth.
“How slow can you be, Sakurai-san? He was giving you so many hints; even an obvious one a few days ago. How can you have never seen it?”
I paused.
“Or is it that you actually saw it, but you just took it for granted?”
“That’s not it!”
“Then why can’t you say anything about it? If you can’t accept his feeling, why do you have to give him all those hopes that only give him pain in the end?”
“Because I love him!”
“Then tell him!”
“I can’t!”
“Why?”
“Because you’re in the way!”
I stop. I frown. How ridiculous is what he just said. I keep staring at him, demanding for further explanation. His face was red, maybe because of anger or embarrassment or a mix of them both. But I don’t care. I need an answer of what he has said.
“You two… are so close. Everyone was giving me ideas. I was confused,” he pause, biting his lips. “I have fallen in love with him since I first met him; the day that you entered the university, when you knocked on me. Do you remember?”
I widen my eyes. Of course I remember. Because that very same date too, Aiba-chan has set his eyes on this man.
“But I don’t know how to begin. I never confessed. All of this time, I am the one who’s being confessed. And I was too embarrassed to tell him or everyone about it. And then Aiba-san came to work for me. Only God knows how happy I was. But, I just had no idea of what to begin with. Every single word sounds like an instruction, harsh. I was frustrated. I didn’t know if I could win his heart taking into consideration everything I’ve done. I got frustrated. In the end, I just bullied him, just to keep him close to me”
He said that while his head getting lower and lower, unable to face me directly.
“I bullied you that one time as well because I was so jealous of you and him being so close. Everyone was telling me that you’re friends. But the fact itself was already hurting me. How can a friend be so close but I can’t get close to him at all? I love him but what I was creating every single day was just distance. I managed to take him out, but everything was professional, so I couldn’t see any possibilities for us to start a relationship”
I keep listening, refusing to say anything at first. I want him to continue this ridiculous explanation, perhaps see him at the same time trying to find one that could make me forgive him for hurting my friend.
He sighs once and then continues once again.
“And then there are rumors about you and him being a couple. I felt so heartbroken, that I ended up knocking a random girl he took for my girlfriend”
“Random girl?” I smirk. “You can easily get a girl but you can’t win Aiba-chan’s heart? You insult him for wanting your money too. How ridiculous can you be?”
“Because he’s not cheap! He’s not like any other girl. I can’t win him just by the money I have” at this point, he starts crying. It wasn’t a wail, but tears kept falling from his eyes as he spoke. “And I thought that when you asked me to stop giving Aiba-san hopes it was because you were just afraid that Aiba-san will fall for me. But then when i saw you with your girlfriend, everything in my head became just a mess. The rumors weren’t true. But I could never stand a chance with Aiba-san now that I had girlfriend. He kept his distance from me. And I couldn’t find a way to tell him that everything I’ve done was a mistake. Because I never loved that girl; only him!”
Again, he pauses, wiping the tears from his eyes.
“That one night, I just lost control. I was drunk when he came into my room, before we make love. It was forced, I know. He didn’t want it”
“You should have stopped then when you heard him”
“But I couldn’t! That was the only time I was so close to him, so intimately. No matter how wrong it felt at that time, I just couldn’t stop. I felt like I owned him. But I never knew that the only thing I would create afterwards was an even wider distance”
“And then, you gave us, no, him that task”
He fell silent.
This time, my anger overpowered me. I went to him, grabbed him by his collar before punching him on his face.
“DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN HAVEYOU CAUSED TO MY FRIEND?” I yelled out frustrated. “He loves you; every single minute of his life. No matter how much pain you might have caused him”
“I-“
“You’re just an idiot, Sakurai-san. All of this time, he was waiting that maybe you will fall for him, after all the suffering he faced working as you assistant. You never backed him up when your friends mocked him for wanting to blend in with people like you. In the contrary, you were mocking him too. You took him for granted. You abused him. Do you know how he felt? No, you don’t. Because you’re just a selfish brat who has learned to get whatever you want with just a single click of your fingers”
I heard him sobbing.
“I hurt him… I’m sorry…”
I laugh sarcastically.
“Really, you’re sorry?” I kneel, taking him by his collar, making him face me. “Then will you go to him, tell him that you’re sorry? Beg him not to donate his liver to your sister? Will you?”
His eyes widen.
“He- he what?”
I smirk mockingly at him.
“You won’t, right? He’s doing that because he loves you. He wants to be with you. Even if it means just a part of him inside of your sister’s body”
“No… he can’t do that. He’s being ridiculous. You have to stop him!” he said, grabbing me by my arms as tears kept on falling from his eyes.
“He will do that, Sakurai-san” I replied choking a little on my words. Tears start to fall from my eyes too. “There’s only one thing you can do for him. Tell him that you love him. He may not be saved now but at least, that way you’ll give him happiness at least for once in your life. That’s all I’m asking from you”
I release my grips on his collar, making him to slump on the floor. After having grabbed all of my stuff, I head out of the room, stopping halfway to say something to the senior.
“Tell him your feelings, Sakurai-san. Don’t make him feel wasted. He doesn’t have much time”
I say and leave him alone in my room.
I fish out my phone from my pocket, writing a simple message towards Jun-kun before I press the sent button to him. I’m heading to the hospital first. I just want to tell the news to my friend, hoping that I could see him happy again.
Maybe he won’t be safe, but at least a simple piece of happiness could do for him.
But fate speaks for us.
A few blocks away from the hospital, I was trying to reply Jun-kun’s message. He’s already in the hospital as he and Ohno-kun took a taxi. I still need to buy some things from the convenience store.
“I’ll be there in 15 minutes” was what I wrote as a reply. But before I could press the send button, a loud honk could be heard from behind. When I turn to take a look at its source, it feels like I wasn’t stepping on the ground. Before I knew what was happening, pain was already all over my body.
_________________________________________________________________
1 more chapter with epilogue.. i guess i'm gonna end it in one post later.. my beta is awesome.. thanks a lot andy-chan :)) ganbare with your thesis
NEXT
Author: ica_90
Beta:
antimiya88Pairing: [friendship] Aimiya, [One-sided(?)] Sakuraiba, NinoXOC
Genre: Angst, AU, college-life
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A story revolves around the friendship of two boys. Friendship begins from an unexpected beginning, but no one knows how it’ll end
Warning: character death ahead.
Extra notes: earlier, i've mention that this fic is dedicated to
diahlee486 riida91 and nadzsanz... this almost reaching its ending guys. huhuhu...CHAPTER 11
I prepare myself for the possibility of another break down when I go to visit him the next day. He greets me with his usual bright smile, though I could see how pale he is at the moment. I step into the room. None of us refers to the topic he brought up yesterday, but I know, any moment soon, he will.
“I’ve finished the assignment,” he says, pushing the clear folder with his assignment towards me. “Help me send it to my lecturer, will you?”
I nod, taking the assignment into my hand while pulling the chair next to the bed so that I can sit.
“How are you?” I ask reluctantly. He smiles.
“In the best possible shape, Nino”
“Try harder”
“I don’t think my heart will let me” he replies casually, as if it is something normal in everyone’s life. I decide to remain quiet after that, knowing that if I speak, I’m just gonna lead the discussion into a heated one.
I couldn’t read what exactly on the man’s mind when he kept directing our conversation towards the same point. At one moment, I’m sure that he’s trying to calm himself down for the decision he has made, but not long after that, I could sense doubt in him when every words he speaks shows how he was debating inside.
He stops talking at once, sighing before staring at me with plead in his eyes.
“I know you’re mad at me” he repeats what Yumi said to me yesterday. I still have the same answer.
“Wrong. I’m not mad. It’s more like I’m frustrated with your decision”
He fell silent. Just for a while though, until he bites his lips before he speaks again.
“I’m sorry for making such a selfish decision, Nino” he says, his hand finding mine. “But I can’t go with the one that the possibilities are almost zero, trying to wait only for a miracle; hoping for something to happen, when the result will never go the same way as we hope for… isn’t that painful?”
I raise my head to look at him. His expression is calm. After a while, I averted my gaze only to hear him sigh afterwards.
“Can you do me a favor?”
I look at him frowning.
“I want to meet her” he continues even when he saw me frowning even more. “Sakurai-san’s sister. Can you try to find where her room is?”
“Why?” I ask him shortly. He gives me a soft smile.
“I want to meet the one who’s gonna use my organ after me”
Again, I fall speechless. I lost counting how many times I have prayed for some strength. It surprised me how I could bear it and not break down in front of my childhood friend. But only God knows, how broken I am inside, thinking how hurt my best friend must be right now, and how hurt I am to think about the possibilities of losing him in a few months.
I lost counting of how many times I have prayed so that God can save my friend, heal him or a miracle happens in order to lead his life happily again. But I wasn’t sure if any of my prayers were heard by Him, now that I was watching my friend’s condition going from bad to worse.
God, can’t you please grant me just this one wish? Please safe my friend. He has suffered enough. Please let him has a happy life. That’s all I ask from you now.
***
Two knocks on the door, before a girl’s voice, really soft, invite us in. I slide the door open before I push the wheelchair with my friend sitting on it into the room.
“Aiba-san?” the girl asks, her eyes widen with surprise. Of course, it is an unexpected meeting. But I’m sure we’re the one who surprise more.
“You know me?” Aiba-chan asks. She nods confidently.
“Of course I know about you. Thank you for taking care of my troublesome brother. I hope he didn’t give you a hard time”
Oh girl, if only you knew how many times I kept holding myself from strangling that brother of yours.
Aiba-chan shakes his head.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s normal for a boss to be troublesome. But I think I was more troublesome to him” he says making the girl to laugh.
“My brother often tells me about you; especially about how you have been such a great help to him. He compliments you a lot too, telling us how your presence could calm him enough”
My eyes widen. Sakurai Sho said that? So why has he been so harsh in front of the said person?
Aiba-chan just laughs hearing all her words. I couldn’t tell if he was honest with the laugh or just being sarcastic. But he keeps on the conversation with the girl. From one topic to another, it was like a long lost friend meeting. And their topic varies, from how silly Sakurai-san can be, to how he was already bearing the responsibilities for their family’s company before returning back to the way Sakurai-san compliments Aiba-chan.
And here, I sense something in the way she talks. It’s not honest. Some of the points are, but some others tell me she’s hiding something.
“Why are you here, Aiba-san? I want to guess that you’re being nice, as my brother’s assistant and you just wanted to visit me but seeing you in a wheelchair, I couldn’t guess more wrong, could I?”
Aiba-chan smiles. He has been doing that a lot nowadays. Maybe it’s the way he figured that it calms him down.
“I’m a patient here”
“huh?”
“I’m sick. I’ve been here for more than a week now and I don’t know if I will ever have the chance to get discharged”
“Does my brother know?” she asks again. This time, Aiba-chan shakes his head.
“Well, he did visit me a few days ago. But he didn’t ask about it, so… I just didn’t mention it either”
“What a slowpoke is that old man. I’m gonna punch him once I meet him later” the girl says with a laugh. But it she stops it abruptly afterwards.
They stare at each other in silence. And when she frowns gasping, I know she finally got the hint.
“You… don’t tell me that…”
“Mai-chan. I’m gonna be the donor of your liver,” Aiba-chan speaks when the girl couldn’t continue with her words. Obviously, she is shocked.
“That… did you tell my brother about it?” she asks, sounded panicked as she utters the question. I could see how she is when Aiba-chan shakes his head.
“He doesn’t need to know about this, Mai-chan. I didn’t do this for him…” and then he paused. Slowly, he lowers his head, looking at his lap while biting his lower lip. After a while, he sighs.
“I lie. In the end, it’s all about him,”
“Aiba-san…”
“Between two men, the word love is impossible ne, Mai-san. Let alone one physical relationship,” slowly, he raises his head, facing the young girl.
“I never said this towards him. I know it’s gonna be meaningless. He’s straight, and I’m just choosing this crook way for my life. No matter how much hurt I might feel inside, it needs to stop, and since death was decided for me, I’m fine with it”
He pauses once before continue again.
“I love your brother. While I’m accepting the fact that I’m dying, I guess it’s normal as a human to have that greed inside. I still want to be by your brother’s side. Even just a part of me, it’s fine. If I donate my liver for you, at least this part will be living by his side. And that, is enough for me”
One long explanation. And I finally understand how big his love towards the man named Sakurai Sho is; the one who gave him nothing else than pain. Happiness maybe twice, but I’m sure it’s a small amount.
I could feel my eyes getting teary as I listen, thinking about everything he just said. It’s painful but I’m sure it’s double for the one who talks. Maybe I should listen to everything he wants to say without yelling him for all the decisions he has made.
But has he made the right ones being in that state of mind?
“My brother will be sad” Mai says after a while. Aiba-chan shakes his head. Slowly, he takes the girls hand into his, giving her assurance.
“He won’t know. He will know that I die due to my own disease, but he will never know that I donated my liver to you. Hence, I’m sure he will be happy. He wants you to be happy. And I, as his assistant, will help him to do that”
Again she pauses. While I keep telling myself to accept whatever he was saying no matter how ridiculous it may sound, he continues.
“I just… I only have one request”
The girl raises her head.
“Hmm?”
“Please take care of what I give to you properly. That’s all I could ask for”
I could see how the girl is deliberating to say something. But in the end, nothing left her lips. Everything ends in her throat. Her eyes are brimming with tears but none of them trail down her cheeks. She bites her lips, staring at the face of his brother’s assistant.
“Take care of your brother for me, ne” Aiba-chan ends the conversation before he glances at me, gesturing that it’s time to go now.
Slowly, I approached them, bowing a little to the person who’s on the bed before pulling my best friend out of the room.
The way to his room takes us much longer time than earlier. I wasn’t sure if the path was longer or it was us who were taking it slow.
The hallways echoed our footsteps, no one was around and the two of us were saying nothing. I’ll never know how long we stayed that way, perhaps since the moment we stepped out of the room. I’ve been holding my emotions inside while I’ll never find out what is in my best friend’s mind.
Maybe he’s more hurt than I could tell, even the thoughts he had were already too painful for me. Without realizing it, a drop of tears fell on my hands, followed by another one on the man’s shoulder.
“Nino…”
I walk slowly, facing him before slump on my knees. My tears fall messily on my face as I stare deeply into his empty eyes; empty as dead even though his heart is beating - maybe weakly. But his smile doesn’t show he’s weak. His smile was full of determination; determine to hide his own sadness from being shown.
“What will happen to us now, Aiba-chan?” I asked, while my tears couldn’t stop flowing. “You promised me Aiba. We’re going to graduate together. Find a job together. You told me you wanna be my best man! Why are you giving it up now?”
Aiba doesn’t answer.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry that I have to break that promise now Nino,” he says staring blankly. “But, will you promise me one last thing?”
I shake my head, sobbing, choking.
“Take care of yourself. Never let anyone hurt you. That’s all I ask from you,”
I wail as I bury my face on his lap. I couldn’t hold my tears anymore. It is like a broken dam.
****
“Seriously, Nino. That isn’t something that you should hide from us”
“There’s nothing we can do, Jun-kun. Unless some miracle happens that could keep him safe, there’s no hope. But at this point, I can tell that he has already given up”
I heard a tsk at the end of the line. I could feel Jun-kun was annoyed with everything; mostly with me for not telling him about Aiba-san. And then I heard him sigh.
“When are you going to the hospital again?”
“In 30 minutes. I’m free with my schedule today and I don’t have any classes tomorrow, so I decided to stay there”
“Good, we’re coming with you. We’ll see you in your room later” and the call ends.
I sigh. It has been a long time since I met both Jun-kun and Ohno-kun. It’s not that I want to hide anything from them, but perhaps I was too busy with everything, from classes to Aiba-chan, that I forgot to tell them about it.
And the moment Jun picked up his phone, all I received was a plain yell, asking me where I’ve been. I received twice the yell when I finished telling him about Aiba-san. I sigh again remembering that. I know I’ll receive another yell from him later, once he met me here.
I was putting the manga Aiba-chan requested for me to bring to him when I heard a knock on the door.
“You guys are too early. It isn’t 5 minutes since you ended the call, Jun-kun” I yell, trying to put some humor in my voice. But again, knocks on the door. I zipped my bag before I head to the door to reveal Sakurai-san standing in front of my room with his usual arrogant smirks once I open it.
The smile that I wore earlier faded, replaced now by a frown. The man makes his way into our room without being invited and it somehow gets on my nerves.
“Has he been discharged?” the senior asks. I roll my eyes.
“I never knew that he has the power to become invisible” i said slightly annoyed. He throws me a disgusted look.
“What’s wrong with him?” he shot me another question.
“Why would you care?” I glare at him. “Or why would you just act as if you really cared?”
“I’m the one asking the questions here, Ninomiya-san! A question should always have an answer!”
“No… because you don’t deserve to know anything about him!” I shot back at him. “Why would you care for someone to whom you always gave nothing but pain? You hurt him again and again in the past and then you suddenly act as if you care when you don’t! Do you know how much have you hurt him?”
The man glares at me. His shoulders move up and down and I’m sure he’s holding his anger inside of him at the moment. But I couldn’t care less. Instead of that I just shot him another question.
“If you don’t love him, why did you have to make everything you could to give him hope that you will return his feelings?”
I could see him startled by the question. His angered expression softened into a confused one before he whispers his curiosity.
“Return his feelings?” he frowns. What do you mean- he loves me?”
I gritted my teeth.
“How slow can you be, Sakurai-san? He was giving you so many hints; even an obvious one a few days ago. How can you have never seen it?”
I paused.
“Or is it that you actually saw it, but you just took it for granted?”
“That’s not it!”
“Then why can’t you say anything about it? If you can’t accept his feeling, why do you have to give him all those hopes that only give him pain in the end?”
“Because I love him!”
“Then tell him!”
“I can’t!”
“Why?”
“Because you’re in the way!”
I stop. I frown. How ridiculous is what he just said. I keep staring at him, demanding for further explanation. His face was red, maybe because of anger or embarrassment or a mix of them both. But I don’t care. I need an answer of what he has said.
“You two… are so close. Everyone was giving me ideas. I was confused,” he pause, biting his lips. “I have fallen in love with him since I first met him; the day that you entered the university, when you knocked on me. Do you remember?”
I widen my eyes. Of course I remember. Because that very same date too, Aiba-chan has set his eyes on this man.
“But I don’t know how to begin. I never confessed. All of this time, I am the one who’s being confessed. And I was too embarrassed to tell him or everyone about it. And then Aiba-san came to work for me. Only God knows how happy I was. But, I just had no idea of what to begin with. Every single word sounds like an instruction, harsh. I was frustrated. I didn’t know if I could win his heart taking into consideration everything I’ve done. I got frustrated. In the end, I just bullied him, just to keep him close to me”
He said that while his head getting lower and lower, unable to face me directly.
“I bullied you that one time as well because I was so jealous of you and him being so close. Everyone was telling me that you’re friends. But the fact itself was already hurting me. How can a friend be so close but I can’t get close to him at all? I love him but what I was creating every single day was just distance. I managed to take him out, but everything was professional, so I couldn’t see any possibilities for us to start a relationship”
I keep listening, refusing to say anything at first. I want him to continue this ridiculous explanation, perhaps see him at the same time trying to find one that could make me forgive him for hurting my friend.
He sighs once and then continues once again.
“And then there are rumors about you and him being a couple. I felt so heartbroken, that I ended up knocking a random girl he took for my girlfriend”
“Random girl?” I smirk. “You can easily get a girl but you can’t win Aiba-chan’s heart? You insult him for wanting your money too. How ridiculous can you be?”
“Because he’s not cheap! He’s not like any other girl. I can’t win him just by the money I have” at this point, he starts crying. It wasn’t a wail, but tears kept falling from his eyes as he spoke. “And I thought that when you asked me to stop giving Aiba-san hopes it was because you were just afraid that Aiba-san will fall for me. But then when i saw you with your girlfriend, everything in my head became just a mess. The rumors weren’t true. But I could never stand a chance with Aiba-san now that I had girlfriend. He kept his distance from me. And I couldn’t find a way to tell him that everything I’ve done was a mistake. Because I never loved that girl; only him!”
Again, he pauses, wiping the tears from his eyes.
“That one night, I just lost control. I was drunk when he came into my room, before we make love. It was forced, I know. He didn’t want it”
“You should have stopped then when you heard him”
“But I couldn’t! That was the only time I was so close to him, so intimately. No matter how wrong it felt at that time, I just couldn’t stop. I felt like I owned him. But I never knew that the only thing I would create afterwards was an even wider distance”
“And then, you gave us, no, him that task”
He fell silent.
This time, my anger overpowered me. I went to him, grabbed him by his collar before punching him on his face.
“DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN HAVEYOU CAUSED TO MY FRIEND?” I yelled out frustrated. “He loves you; every single minute of his life. No matter how much pain you might have caused him”
“I-“
“You’re just an idiot, Sakurai-san. All of this time, he was waiting that maybe you will fall for him, after all the suffering he faced working as you assistant. You never backed him up when your friends mocked him for wanting to blend in with people like you. In the contrary, you were mocking him too. You took him for granted. You abused him. Do you know how he felt? No, you don’t. Because you’re just a selfish brat who has learned to get whatever you want with just a single click of your fingers”
I heard him sobbing.
“I hurt him… I’m sorry…”
I laugh sarcastically.
“Really, you’re sorry?” I kneel, taking him by his collar, making him face me. “Then will you go to him, tell him that you’re sorry? Beg him not to donate his liver to your sister? Will you?”
His eyes widen.
“He- he what?”
I smirk mockingly at him.
“You won’t, right? He’s doing that because he loves you. He wants to be with you. Even if it means just a part of him inside of your sister’s body”
“No… he can’t do that. He’s being ridiculous. You have to stop him!” he said, grabbing me by my arms as tears kept on falling from his eyes.
“He will do that, Sakurai-san” I replied choking a little on my words. Tears start to fall from my eyes too. “There’s only one thing you can do for him. Tell him that you love him. He may not be saved now but at least, that way you’ll give him happiness at least for once in your life. That’s all I’m asking from you”
I release my grips on his collar, making him to slump on the floor. After having grabbed all of my stuff, I head out of the room, stopping halfway to say something to the senior.
“Tell him your feelings, Sakurai-san. Don’t make him feel wasted. He doesn’t have much time”
I say and leave him alone in my room.
I fish out my phone from my pocket, writing a simple message towards Jun-kun before I press the sent button to him. I’m heading to the hospital first. I just want to tell the news to my friend, hoping that I could see him happy again.
Maybe he won’t be safe, but at least a simple piece of happiness could do for him.
But fate speaks for us.
A few blocks away from the hospital, I was trying to reply Jun-kun’s message. He’s already in the hospital as he and Ohno-kun took a taxi. I still need to buy some things from the convenience store.
“I’ll be there in 15 minutes” was what I wrote as a reply. But before I could press the send button, a loud honk could be heard from behind. When I turn to take a look at its source, it feels like I wasn’t stepping on the ground. Before I knew what was happening, pain was already all over my body.
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1 more chapter with epilogue.. i guess i'm gonna end it in one post later.. my beta is awesome.. thanks a lot andy-chan :)) ganbare with your thesis
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