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(OneShot) Shattered (ohmiya)
Title: Shattered
Pairing: Ohmiya, (side) Sakuraiba, hints of JunToshi
Rating: PG
Length: 2700++ words (OneShot)
Genre : Angst
Summary: something wrong with their relation
Disclaimer: I own them…. Not… a very sad truth :P
Notes: this is the side story of Wrong Assumption (SakurAiba)~ yoroshiku J
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shardauneithanks for helping with this :)
Too near. Too near. Too near.
I didn’t know how many times I have said the same words again and again. I can’t stare at what the two of them are doing, my heart ache whenever I see them. But I couldn’t bear sitting there like a blind person, pretending to not seeing anything.
At one time, they’re groping each other, another time one man was leaning to the other. Not to mention giggling around, something we haven’t done for quite a long time.
I miss him.
“Satoshi, could you please behave?” is what I really want to say right now. But I just can’t. Maybe because I love him too much that I couldn’t stop him from doing what could bring him happiness. But at the same time, I was torn.
We have grown apart.
Aiba-chan went straight to me when he entered the room this morning. Before he could sit, I pulled him out the room, leaving the other three inside. We went to the cafeteria. It had become a morning ritual for both of us lately.
“Nino, I didn’t know if I should tell you this, but yesterday, Riida went out with Matsujun. Did you know about it?
The truth, no, I was not aware of it. Trying (to hide the truth, I just said, “Yes, I know it. Riida told me yesterday.”
It was hard to fake a smile and pretend I don’t care. The most difficult to deal was seeing someone you had loved in someone else’s. Why was it so hard for me to tell him how hurt I am when I see him with someone else? Why couldn’t I just say I want him to be with me? It was not that I wanted to own him 24 hours, but at least to care about me.
And again tonight, I was all alone in the house we share. He was late again.
How long has OhMiya SK being formed? Long enough until we didn’t even care to count it. What we do was just celebrate the anniversary without really care about the number. I even cook for tonight.
But Ohno Satoshi was late, even though he promised he’d make it tonight.
“Why are you sleeping here,” he asked when he came back, seeing me sleeping with my head on the table.
“Waiting for you,” I replied, forming a faint smile.
“Gomen, filming ends late, and then I drop by the Jimusho. Jun was there, so we decided to have a few drinks before going home. Gomen ne,”
Excuses. Somehow, something inside me broke hearing it. it breaks more when I heard his name.
Not looking at him, I started to tidy up the table, packing all the food before going to the kitchen, putting all the food inside the refrigerator.
“Ahhh, tsukareta,” I heard him whine in the living room.
I felt so abandoned. Was he already bored of this relation? Does he still care about my feelings? I could feel my tears on my cheeks.
“Kazu,” he called. I wiped my tears once before turning to him. “Have you eaten?” I nodded. Lying of course.
“You cook a lot. Is there anything special today?” This time I smirk. He forgot about it. For the first time in our relation, he forgot it. And I was broken.
“Nothing, really. Maybe for you,” I said sarcastically, before I started washing plates.
“Why are you so sensitive?” he sounded annoyed.
“Well it’s because you’re no longer sensitive in this relationship. It’s only me, Satoshi. It’s only me who does it because I want this relationship to still work. I want it to still be relevant even though many years had passed!” I voiced out loud. I tried my very best to hold myself from breaking.
I kept staring at him, who then sighed, before heading back to the living room. Once I finished with the plates, I headed back to the living room, grabbing my keys and wallet to go out before I heard his voice.
“It’s all about Jun-kun, right? Lately, you’ve become more sensitive than ever,” he sounded so stiff. I turned, facing him. Since when did he call him “Jun-kun”?
“Jun-kun, huh?” I said, smirking while trying to hold myself from bursting up. I turned, ignoring his question. Before I close back the door, I turned to take a look at him again.
“Satoshi, happy Ohmiya anniversary,” I said. This time, it really broke me that I even forgot to have dinner.
***
Things never got better. We hadn’t spoken since that night. I didn’t know if he felt guilty of what happened or he just didn’t care about it.
I took his schedule as a reason why he comes back late at night. I admit, I waited for him to come back by pretending to sleep at the couch. But he had change. He was not the Satoshi that I once knew. My existence seemed no longer important to him.
But today, I got to know the answer.
I was about to enter our green room when I heard something from the room. Curious, I put my ears to the door, just to hear something that I shouldn’t.
“Riida, please,”
“Why are you thinking so much about him?”
“Because he is my friend, Riida. If you really didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore, you should let him go. But I won’t be the third person.”
“Don’t you love me, Jun? Don’t lie. I can see it in your eyes. You hurt when you see him with me.”
“I do, but I can’t betray him! I know him too long, Rii…” his words were cut by something that I hate to imagine. Slowly, I opened the door to take a peek inside. Without them realizing I peeked in, I proved my worst fear. They were kissing.
My heart broke more damaging than before
Sobbing , I closed the door slowly, before rushing to the nearest empty room to hide.
***
No matter how much I try to stay focus on the recording, it didn’t work. I kept remembering the scene that I just saw.
I spent 30 minutes in the other room before going back to our green room, pretending I didn’t see anything. I sat next to him on the sofa, guessing it would be my last time doing so. I pulled out my DS while listening to his story.
But he talked too much, something that he did whenever he is too nervous or guilty of something.
“You talk too much,” I said, eyes fixated on my DS screen.
“Something wrong? I realized we haven’t talk much lately. I miss you,” he said.
Please don’t lie, Satoshi. I know you too well. I wanted to tell him that. I really did, but I know it would hurt me more if I say that. I stopped.
“Ninomiya-san, you’re spacing out today. Are you ok?” My thought was interrupted by our producer’s question. I looked up at him, giving him a small nod.
“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” I said. He nodded back. Slowly, I made my way to Sho-kun who was looking worriedly at me.
“Daijoubu? You look terrible.
“I hate to admit, but I’m not ok. But Sho-kun, today is the day for both of us. You have to tell Aiba-chan that you love him, while I stopped breaking my heart again,”I said.
“What’s wrong? Tell me,” he asked. I faked a smile.
“Remember I told you I wonder if he feels guilty or just doesn’t care? I think now I know the answer.”
Sho-kun looked at me curiously. I sighed. There was no possible way I can tell him everything now. It was too painful.
“Sho-kun, for what I can say… if you really love someone, show it. Maybe I didn’t show it enough to Satoshi, causing this to happen,” I sighed. I looked at the two, one that I loved and one that he loved. And to think that, it brought me more heartbreak. I wanted to die now if I could.
We didn’t continue our talk then as the shooting started again. Just before the camera rolled, I looked at Sho, mouthing to him, “confess to him today.”
***
“We need to talk,” Satoshi stopped me at the hallway to our green room.
“About what? Sorry, I still have another shooting to go.” I passed by him and went straight to our green room. He followed me.
“Too many Aimiya moment!! It’s what the fan said. Can’t you consider my feelings?”
Consider his feelings? I thought. What about you, Satoshi? Have you considered enough about my feelings?
I packed all my stuff quickly. It had been decided. I would settle this thing tonight.
“Riida, gomen,” I heard Aiba-chan said with a slight tone of guilt. It was not your fault Aiba-chan. This relationship never meant to last.
It’s not your fault, Aiba-chan,” he said never taking his eyes from me. He sounded so cold, causing me to feel so annoyed. I straightened up, facing him before my outburst.
“Yes, it’s not Aiba-chan’s fault. It’s my entire fault, right? Then you should ask yourself what you’ve been doing behind my back with JUN!!” I yelled.
I tried to breathe properly, as result from my anger just now. I felt so frustrated. His words seemed like he was blaming me for all the things happened between us. Just then both Sho and Jun entered the room. I saw Jun look at me, anxious with what had happened. Maybe they already heard me yell just now.
“What’s wrong?” I heard Sho-chan asking. I shut my eyes, trying to gather my strength. Sho had been listening to my story all this while. I knew he knew, even if he pretended like he didn’t.
“Nothing,” i said shortly after a pause. I turned to Aiba-chan who looked away from the situation. “Aiba-chan. Gomen. I can’t go with you today.”
I didn’t wait for any response from him. I stormed out of the room, ignoring what I left behind. Just then, a hand grabbed my shoulder causing me to turn.
“Seriously what is wrong with you?” Satoshi stops me.
“Let go of me.” He let go of my shoulders but then pinned me against the wall.
“I won’t let you go until you tell me what’s wrong with you,”
Why had I become so sensitive lately? My tears really threatened to fall right now. I pushed him hard, causing him to step a few step back.
“I still have another work to do, Ohno-san,” He seemed shocked by the way I call him. “I’ll tell you tonight at home.” With that, I left him, heading to the lobby and out to the curb to a car waiting for me.
A magazine with Arashi in it was there in the car. I flipped it, read it when I noticed Ohno’s words for Jun.
"that's why i want to be with him a whole day without doing anything."
Satoshi, I'll grant that wish for you.
****
I reached the house to see light coming under the door. He was home.
I took a deep breath before pulling the door open to see him sitting at the couch. Hearing the sound of the door closing, he stood up and looked at me standing near the door, not taking any step further.
His face showed nothing. I couldn’t read what he wanted to say or what was inside his mind currently. The two of us kept staring each other, before I opened my mouth to begin.
“Say, Satoshi, before you ask me what’s wrong with me lately, would you mind telling me what’s wrong with you first?” I asked, trying my best to stay calm. He looked at me, didn’t give me any answer.
“I know what’s wrong with me. Yes, I’m jealous. You’re spending your time with Jun too much recently. I feel abandoned. But I didn’t know what happened to you to make me feel this way. You even forgot our anniversary. You didn’t talk to me when we’re home. You become too clingy when it comes to Jun,” I said, eyes locking at him. And you even kiss him this morning, I added in my head.
He still didn’t say a word. He just stood there stiff.
“If you don’t say a word, this thing won’t go anywhere, Satoshi,” I almost beg when I said those words. “Say something.”
“I’m bored.”
His words pierced me.
“I’m bored of this relationship. We stayed too long together that I don’t know where this will bring us to. I keep wondering about it until one day I feel so bored that I don’t want to think about it. I stop thinking about us.”
I really didn’t know how to react to his words anymore. It was confirmed then, and I got my answers. Things happened before, he never felt guilty about it. He simply didn’t care.
With him thinking that way, what was the purpose of this relationship anymore?
I really hoped that I would never say these words, but it spilled so clearly without anything stopping it.
“Let’s break up, Satoshi,” I said, calmly. He looked at me. He wasn’t shocked. He looked like he already expected it. And he didn’t go against my decision even though I really hoped he would. I knew it was impossible.
I took a deep breath, trying to find my own courage to say the next thing I wanted to say.
“I saw what happened between you and Jun this morning. Even it really hurts me, but staying with someone who didn’t love you will bring you more pain.”
“Kazu, I..”
“Don’t say anything about it” I cut him. There was nothing to discuss really.
I made my way to our room. I took one last look to this place, a room that we once shared, we once talked everything, we made love until morning and still wouldn’t get up even our manager had called. A room that contained a lot of memories of our relationship.
I took what I needed before leaving the room and headed to the front door. He still stood there, no longer looking at me.
“This house is yours. I’ll take my leave here… about my stuff, I’ll take them later. I can’t tell you when, but it will be soon.”
No reply from him.
“Satoshi,” I called him, he turned. “I hope we stay friend. Forever.” With that, I gave him a smile, before leaving the house. This time I didn’t hold my tears anymore. A relationship that was built for 11 years ended tonight.
I wandered around the city alone, trying to calm myself before I fished out my phone, dialing a number.
“J, about Riida… yoroshiku onegaitashimasu,” I hung up once I finish saying those words.
I had decided this on my way to another location this morning. Jun was his happiness now. All I had to do was to let him go to a person who he loves, which was no longer me.
And then, I felt a pat on my shoulders.
“Nino.”
“Aiba-chan.” With my eyes red from crying, I hug him, with Sho helping to calm me down.
-.-" bad me
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0_o oh no~
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thanks for reading too :)
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thanks a lot :)
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Why haad things to come out like this????
But he is right: when you love someone you have to voice it out loud!
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thanks for reading :)
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thanks for reading :)
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poor nino..
i'm crying read this.. (>.<)
erm..but what will happen to nino now??and how jun reaction to nino's word just now??also what will happen to the three of them from now??
i hope you can make it a little longer..hehehe
just my silly request, because your writing really make me miss it always..hehehe
thanks before for sharing and great hug for you ne~
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thanks for reading :P
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thanks for reading :)
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thank you so much for writing this <3
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thank you for sharing!