ica_90

chapter 5 is here

OHNO POV

I’ve been thinking about the matter yesterday. In fact, since the time I step out from the practice room. All I can say is I’m regret on how I behave yesterday. I’m totally driven away by my thought. And today I have to face him and the other member. I know they must been thinking that I’m so childish by acting that way yesterday.

Nino’s a grown up man. He has right to fall in love. But the thought of he’ll a little bit away from me disturbed so much. After all, he’s my bestfriend. Even the fans know that so much. Some of them did think that we’re in relationship. But that’s not the main point. The point here is I’m scared that he’ll leave me alone if he falls in love with someone. Seriously I’m so childish to think that way about him. Of course he won’t. He did be in relationship before. And he never neglects me. Not even once. It was me who neglect him.

I sigh. When I enter the green room this morning, I saw him sleeping somewhere around the corner. Not intending to wake him up, slowly I step back out from the room and close the door slowly. Slowly I lean myself against the wall. The peaceful surrounding at the corridor doesn’t last long when I heard Aiba-san voice along with Matsujun and Sho-kun.

“urusai na Aiba-san. Calm yourself a little bit ok. We’re gonna have a long day today. If you keep using your energy like this pace, you’re not going to make it till tonight,” I heard Jun try to slow him down. Well I really hope he do it. Or else, he might wake him up.

“ah, hontou da… jaa… I’ll calm, I’ll calm… are, Riida? Why are you here? Why aren’t you entering the room? Are they renovating the room?” seriously. I put my finger on my mouth as a sign for him to keep his voice down.

“nino’s sleeping,” my answer cause both Sho and Matsujun to give a snort.

“Since when…” Sho-kun didn’t get a chance to finish his words when we heard the sound of the door open. When I turn around, it was him standing at the door. With a sleepy face and a yawn, he looks at us.

“Seriously, you guys are noisy you know,” none of us say a word. He rubs his hair before once again looks at us.

“Why are you guys outside? Are you guys doing a meeting here without me?” he asks. Jun smirks.

“Obviously not, you brat. We won’t leave you out if there is something to discuss. You are blocking the way. We’re just about to enter the room when you suddenly open it. Now move,” he laughs a little before making a space to let them to enter the room.

I didn’t follow the others though. I just stand there watching him. In fact, I was thinking at the same time. How will he react on me today? Will he ignore me or will he just act as usual.

My thought on those things stop when I saw him smiling at me. I reply his smile.

“Aren’t you a little bit early today?” I ask him,

“No, I don’t think so. I did have my breakfast this morning, means that I woke up just at a right time,” there’s an awkward pause on our conversation. Seriously, I’m not really a talkative person.

“Ne, I think I need some coffee. Wanna go to the cafeteria?” he asks me. I nodded a little. He smiles before taking the lead.

We didn’t really talk. Until at one point I ask myself why I am following him here. And he didn’t utter a word along the way to the café. Once we arrived, I just sat at one of the table with him ordering something for himself. After a while, he joined me sitting there.

Again, no words were out from me or him. I hate it. Why can’t we act like before? I want to talk to him, jokes around, and other things I usually do with him.

“ne, riida, about yesterday… gomen ne,” he suddenly say it. I look at him, showing no expression on face. I didn’t really know what to say though.

“I’m really sorry if you feel like I neglected you, but seriously, I’m not and never meant to do it so. Just, do talks to me normally will you? It’s been 3 month since we have a good talk,” his tone was so smooth. No sounding desperate or forceful. I sigh. Why are you being the one to apologize, Nino? Wasn’t it supposed to be me? What kind of friend am I for not apologizing on my own fault?

I watch him take a sip on his coffee. I want to ask him about the girl he talk about, but I didn’t know how to begin with. Then suddenly, I change the topic.

“ne, after we finish our work tonight.. wanna hang out?” I ask him out of blue. He looks at me. Of course he can’t hide his shocked. But then he sighs.

“ahh.. Finally. Demo.. I can’t,” of course he can’t. He might have a date with her.

“okaasan didn’t let me to go out and come back late. I need to be home on time,” eh? I never thought of those words to come out. But, it sure gives you a lot of unanswered question.

“I’m going to get me some drink,” I finally said something. I’m thirsty though. Slowly I wake up and went to the vending machine. As I about to push the button..

“uwaaa.. I like this drink. Ah gomen, it’s out,” that brat!!!!

“oi, pay it back,” I said.

“maa.. it can’t be help ne, I push it out. Jaaa.. you drink this,” he hand me the drink. I make an annoying face.

“It’s not a drink that I want,” I said with a purposely sulking tone. He laughs.

“oh, sou ka? Ja, I’ll drink this then,” he opened the can, drinking it. I show him an annoying look before went back to our green room. It’s not that far when I heard he calls me.

“Riida, here,” he throws me another can. The one that I want.

“How..?”He smirks.

“How long have we known each other riida? 15 years? Or more. It’s a sin if I didn’t know my bestfriend favourite drink,” he said while taking a sip from his drink. I just stay still, watching the drink in my hand without realizing he already far leaving me.

“oi, are you coming or not?” he yells at me. With a smile, I walk towards him, put my hand on his shoulder and walk together to the green room. Surely I don’t have to worry about him changing. He’ll never change.

RIISA POV

“Tadaima,” I said once I enter the house. Obaachan great me with a smile on her face.

“okaeri,” she said. I smile at her once before putting my shoes on the rack. Both of us then heading to the kitchen. Seems like she’s preparing the dinner. I wash my hand before helping her with the dish.

“How is it going today? Seems like you’re enjoying taking a walk alone?” I laugh hearing obaachan words.

“I do, but a little bit lonely. At least going out with you or nee-chan, I have someone to talk to,” I said while helping her cutting the vegetables. She looks at me. I miss that kind of look. A caring look.

Since mom die, no one ever gives me that kind of look anymore. Dad is busy with his work, while both of my sisters never care about me. In another word, no one care about me.

I was so busy spacing out when I heard obaachan scream.

“Riisa-chan, you cut your hand,” eh? But I didn’t feel hurt. When I look at my finger, it was full of blood. Slowly, my grips on the knife loosen. My face getting pale and I fall. I’m scared of blood. That’s the reason why.

“wait, I’ll take the first aid,” seriously, I’m a mess. I already stay here for 2 month, and I guess it’s a troublesome for them. Few minutes later, Obaachan come back with the first aid. Careful, she treats my wound.

It has been a long time I feel this way. I feel like being loved by my own mum. I didn’t realize that I was crying silently until obaachan notice the teardrops on my hand. She looks at me.

“Riisa-chan? Nande?” I didn’t reply her question. I just hug her. I miss my mum so much. All of this while, she’s the only one who takes cares a lot about me. I miss her. So much. That I feel like my heart is going to burst for keeping this to myself alone.

“I miss my mum. Hiccup. Why..Hiccup.. Why did god take her? Why didn’t god take me? Why did she leave me?” I was crying so hard that time.

Lost. Yes. I feel lost.

“shhhh… Riisa-chan. God loves her. You shouldn’t be like this,” she’s hugging me as close as she could. Somehow, I lost my words. One by one, flashes of memories of me and my mum comes to me. I could see it clearly.

Baachan help to get me up. Slowly we’re heading to my room.

“you should rest, Riisa-chan,” I didn’t say a word, I just nod.

“Obaachan, please. I think It’s time for you to ask Kazu-kun to just accept it,” I heard her sighing. Slowly, she sat next to me.

“I already did, Riisa. But you know how stubborn he is right?”

“I know. But I can’t bear losing him. Please baachan, it’s the only way, right? Please ask him to agree,”

I didn’t know what I should say more. Both of us just keep quiet. I know Baachan has done so many things so that he’ll agree. But that guy, he’s just so stubborn. I didn’t know why.

“Riisa-chan, I can’t lose him too,” she sighs once again. She looks at me.

“Will you be ok if you do it?” I nodded. In my life there’s nothing to lose anymore. I’m fine doing anything for him. A person who care for me since mum death.

Baachan didn’t say anything. She nodded a little and says she’ll try to talk to him about the matter. I nodded. Before she left the room, I said something to her.

“baachan, can I call you okaasan?” I know it’s embarrassing for asking someone mum to be your mum. But I really hope I can fine someone who loves me the same way my mum did. At least a little and I’ll be satisfied. She smiles at me.

“Sure, my dear. You have become my child since the day you’re born. Stop calling me baachan already,” she left me with a smile, and my mind thinking about mum and kazu-kun.

ps://this is originally post in Aibakaland .... i've quite update there :))