ica_90

edited post on March 6, 2014

Hello ladies (i'm sure most of the readers here in my journal is). thanks a lot for dropping by.

I'm Irsya (not my real name), people usually call me Isya. I'm from Malaysia, proud to be one, proud to be an asian as well.
this journal contains mainly my arashi fanfic, sometimes my rant about something. //i love to rant. you've been warned//

this year mark my 3 years as Arashi fangirl. meh. 3 years? i thought i've been long enough in the fandom. but nevermind. my ichiban is still Sho, but his place has been quite shaky nowadays by Nino. that brat~ -.-"

there's another way to talk to me aside from LJ. i have twitter and FB specially for the fangirling purposes. my Twitter, i usually tweet in Malay Language, English Language and sometimes when the words appear in my brain, Japanese. FB... maaaa... i'm there, just not really active. so...

MY TWITTER
MY FACEBOOK

once again, thanks for reading the stuff i wrote in the journal :))

Updated on: 25th October 2016 (i might missed some fics. it has been too long since i last update this.)
As stated in my post here, i will started to delete all of my NC-17 fic. tho, for now, I'll just hide them from EVERYONE VIEWS. Thank you so much for reading all those fics. any NC fic from now on will be locked after 7 days. Once again, thank you for reading my fics.

OneShot

OhMiya

Gone

Broken In the End

After a Year (sequel to gone)

All that I want

Shattered

Dream and Time

Hiding Something

Even So, you're the one precious to me

Tell Me

Unanswered call

Their jealousy

My Grand Price (Part 1 // Part 2)

It is you After All

Where's you go

Break up, truth and Proposal

~~Candy Crush Revenge~~ *LOCKED*

Invitation, decline and The Only Reason

The Pendant we used to have

I'll go ahead, Will wait for you there

Sulking Ohno

His Teary Eyes

His Present For Me

~~4 Things That Don't go well on Nino's Birthday and 1 Thing Ohno do to made up~~

I'll hold you as long as i live

Leave

~~Faceook Love~~ *LOCKED*

Maybe a Goodbye

Emptiness

A blank Canvas for Ninomiya Kazunari's Potrait

Memories (Nino's birthday fic-2015)

Unexpected Response

~~You wanna bet how much I love you?~~ *LOCKED*

Connectors

SakurAiba

Reason To Apologize

Wrong Assumption

Moving

Need a Reason

Unspoken Love

Their point of view (Part 1 // Part 2)

Wedding Card

No Sharing

Another Love (side story of Love at the last moment)

Test

Act One

Sequence of Love

Say Your Love

Love Potion

AiMiya

Notebook, pen and …

Protector

Secret Tattoo

Virtual Reality (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)

SakuMoto

Asking for Another Chance

Awkward Space

Matsumiya

When will we?

Forcing for Another Confession

~~Yours~~ *LOCKED*

~~Kismet~~ *LOCKED*

Hate Huh?

Juntoshi

To have You

Yama

Hopeless and Hope

Junba

~~One Call~~ *LOCKED*

When Fairy Tale turns reality

~~Of Love, Frustration and Desire~~ *LOCKED*

Arashi Member x female character

Maotsujun : I wanna Marry You

~~OhnoXOC : Triggered~~ *LOCKED*

~~OhnoXOC : Claimed~~ *LOCKED*

OhnoXOC : Never Again

MIX Pairing

~~Juntoshimiya : A secret Safe Behind a Pretty Smile~~ *LOCKED*

Juntoshimiyama: Another ~~Cinderella~~ Satoko's Story

OnGoing

Just An Out *drop out... maybe if i have idea to write then i'll continue it*

(OhMiya)

Winning him Back (To be lock)

~1~ // ~2~ // ~3~ // ~4~ // ~5~ // ~6~ // ~7~ // ~8~ // ~9~ // ~10~ // Epilogue

Love at The Last Moment

// 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10 // 11// 12

Kidnapped

~1~ // ~2~ // ~3~ // ~4~ // ~5~ // ~6~ // ~7~ // ~8~

What we lost

~1~// ~2~// ~3~//~4~ // ~5~ // ~6~ // ~7~ // ~8+ epilogue~

One More Chance (To be lock)

~1~//~2~//~3~//~4~//~5~

For Who you Are (To be lock)

~1~//~2~//~3~//~4~//~5~//~6~//~7~//~8~//~9~//~10~

Maybe Forever

~1~//~2~//~3~//~4~//~5~//~6~//~7~//~8~//~9~//~10~//~11~//~12~//~13~//~14~//~15~//~16~//

~~Of Galleons, Invisibility Cloak and The Prefect Bathroom~~ *LOCKED*

~~~1~//~2~//~3~//~~

(Sakuraiba)

Break

~1~ // ~2~ // ~3~ // ~4~ // ~5~

Between Life and Love

~Prologue~ //~1~ // ~2~//~3~//~4~//~5~//~6~//~7~//~8~//~9~// ~10 + Epilogue ~

(AiMiya)

The Last Promise

~Prologue~ // ~1~ // ~2~ // ~3~ // ~4~ // ~5~ // ~6~ // ~7~ // ~8~ // ~9~ // ~10~ // ~11~ // 12 & Epilogue

Drabble

OT5

5 times Arashi plays Magical Banana and it ends with confession

OHMIYA

Don't Make Me Choose between Hamburger and You

Sakuraiba

Suki Janai, Aishiteru Yo

The Best Present

The Stupid one

I think I love you

Sakumoto

Scene Repeated

i'll go with the list. Title, author, genre and rating will be included, i added some from my point of view. i'll try to make short summary for the story as well. list will be updated once there's new fic that attract me.

OHMIYA

1) More Than a Slave by

krystalkatz
Genre : AU, Vampires, Angst, fluff. Rating is R
Short summary: Nino is a human, bought by Ohno from his slave house (?). and from there, their relations begin.
Extra note: this story is the one shot. there's another one which the author has made it longer, more elaboration. either way is good for me, just the longer one is not yet finished.

2) Your Gentle Glow by

risa_pyon
Genre : Romance, fantasy. Rating is PG-13
Short summary: Nino was lost in the forest. he met a strangers which helped him to find his way back. he tried to find the strangers again, but he failed until few year later

3) Sakura Petals by

froggyxprince
Genre : fluff, angst, character death, fantasy, AU Rating is PG-13
Short Summary: a love between a spirit and a human

4) Tackling Eternity by

ace3851
Genre: Angst, M-Preg, romance Rating is R
Short Summary : Ohno is a vampire, he met Nino one night, end up making love with him. he leaved him that night, to see Nino infront of his house, claiming he's carrying his child.

5) 17 by

neko_kirin3104
Genre : Fluff, Angst Rating is PG-13
Extra note: no summary for this one. you have to read this because i just love the way she wrote this. it's confusing at first, but if you do some calculation, then you might understand

6) Cruel Gentleness by

nicadj
Genre : Angst Rating is G
Short Summary: Ohmiya Break up

7) Seasons by

nicadj
Genre: Angst Rating is G
Short summary: sequel to Cruel Gentleness. they meet again.

8) The Letter K by arashinhwa
Genre: Angst Rating is PG

9) waiting for You by

auburn_witch
Genre : Angst, fluff, smut Rating is NC-17

10) Sirius by yryumi
Genre: Angst Rating is PG
Short Summary: Ohno broke up with Nino, and Nino just avoid him all his might. but something happened, and Ohno realized he love the man
Extra note: well, i don't remember how, but author-san message/comment me stating she wrote something inspired from some of my words in my fic (break up, truth and proposal) it's not a sequel, but the reason to the break up is the same with my fic. i love how hurt i feel reading this. emotions overflow. 2 parts. and there's link after another

AIMIYA

1) Truly, Madly, Deeply by

aridseas
Genre: Angst, AU, Smut Rating is NC-17
Short Summary: someone is obsessed and wanting him for his own.
Extra Note: Someone might not comfortable with this fic, because it's kind of force sex. but i love the way she explains the character, makes me unable to feel mad to the character, instead i pity him. seriously, Read it! XD

2) Breathing Underwater by

aridseas
Genre: angst, Au Rating is R
Short summary: sequel to Truly, Madly, Deeply. no summary, because it's gonna spoil the 1st one

OHBA

1) Scarecrow, Scarecrow by yumenosete in AO3
Genre : fluff Rating is PG
Short Summary: Aiba is a screcrow that went missing everytime it is Halloween.

MATSUMIYA

1) Fixing my Future with the Broken pieces from my Past by

24iza_run
Genre : Brotherhood, friendship, angst Rating is G
Short summary : Having a brilliant and perfect fraternal twins who is 180 degrees different from him forced the 16 years old Miyamoto Kazunari to grow up with a harsh and cold treatment by people around. At first, he had Jun who's the only person that close to him despite of their uncommonness. But after a cold incident occured between them, Kazunari chooses to never put a faith with anyone else anymore.
This story reveal in how a guy who always known as a 'rotten apple in eye' try to rebuild his broken life again. (copied from author masterpost)

2) A Drunken Mistake or a Miracle by

chikanchi
Genre : Mpreg, angst Rating is G
Short summary : jun and nino don’t like each other,but everything change after they spend a drunken night together,which make nino pregnant,they will have their up and down and their try to be beside each others?. (copied from author masterpost)

3) Taking it to the Grave by

doctoggy
Genre : AU, angst Rating is PG
Short summary : Soul-bonding AU. it's hard to explain, but this fic is highly reccomended by me as i cried reading this (used to be a cry baby before but now that my emotions aren't really functioning, my cries matter XD)

GEN

1) All Together Now by primeroseshows
Genre: Friendship Rating is PG
Short Summary: setting in future wher Arashi is no longer at peak. Aiba tries to bring them together before he end up in the
hospital

i rarely read the ongoing fic, but, later i'll update some of the memorable one that i've read

Title : Losing Him - Chapter 8

Lenght: Chapter

Author: ica_90

beta by:

jtaytt (Thanks girl!!)

Pairing : Ohmiya (for 85% of the fic), Matsumiya (Friendship,in the next few chapters), Aimiya (Friendship, in the next few chapters), mostly friendship in this one for every other pair

Genre : Angst, Friendship, AU (because Nino quits Arashi, please advice if it’s not)

Rating : NC-17

Summary : Few weeks after Ohno rejected Nino’s confession, Nino decided to quit Arashi, making Ohno wonder if his rejection was the reason. But he has his own suspicions, and he wanted to know.

Epilogue

10 years of waiting. And there were times when he asked if it’s worth waiting?

It wasn’t easy. Nino was a talented guy. After just 5 months in the US, it was all over the news that he was offered a role in a Hollywood movie. Nino didn’t tell him about it, he got to know about it in the news. And it made him questioned if this is worth waiting.

Rumors after rumors. He knew he shouldn’t feel jealous from all the rumors. But even after he told Nino that he would wait, Nino, on the other hand, never acknowledged the promise or agreed. The man never asked him to wait. But still, he did.

He wanted Nino to see, to understand, that he meant something in his life.

When Nino’s first scandal, since moving to the US, surfaced, he could hear his heart breaking. Even when they talked about it, Nino chose to stray away from the topic. For years, he was left in doubt, wondering if he made a right decision to promise something that was causing him more hurt than happiness.

Jun was worried. Throughout the years, Jun was always the one listening to him. Jun listened to his regrets for not realizing about Nino’s feeling for him sooner. About his regrets for rejecting the man when he confessed. Regrets of letting him go. And throughout the years, Jun had been supportive by telling him that he was doing the right thing. Jun gave him assurance that it was just Nino’s way of testing his loyalty.

But when other rumors surfaced, especially the one about Nino’s co-actress being pregnant with his child, he felt his life being squeezed out of him, slowly but surely. It turned out to be untrue of course, but when Nino kept putting distance between them, pushing him to find a perfect woman for himself because he would be doing that too; Ohno didn’t know how to express the hurt he felt from the statements.
Jun was furious which lead to a mail to the man. Jun told Nino to stay away from Ohno if he just wanted to play with his heart. And Nino did.

Yet he still waited. His heart was telling him to wait. To never give up. 10 years wasn’t a short amount of time. But it was definitely not as long as the length of time Nino had waited for him before.

***********

He stared silently towards the lake in front of his house. It was a house he bought few years back while toying in his mind that if one-day Nino decided to come back, this would be their house. Nino had always hated the sea, hopefully not the lake, he thought. And he had been imagining their lives together. But when he realized that he was no longer receiving news from the man, his heart sank.

Nevertheless, he kept praying, praying that the man would come back and give him a chance.

“Satoshi,” a voice startled him from his thoughts. “You are going to burn if you stay under the sun for too long.”

He turned. Nino was standing at the corridor of the house, smiling so beautifully at him. He didn’t move from his spot as Nino made his way towards him, and taking his offered hand.

“Are they coming?” Ohno nodded. Somehow, Nino sighed. “It has been years.”

“Yeah,” Ohno said. His grip tighten on the man’s hand.

“I hope they forgive me-“ Nino said. All Ohno did was giving him an assurance grip on his hand.

They never heard from and about Sugimoto anymore. Last time Ohno did, was when the man was arrested on multiple charges. The man’s company filed bankruptcy. There were some charges that linked him to the yakuza and other dark cases that included fraud and prostitution. Johnny-san had denied it multiple times, but Ohno and the other members knew, some of the charges were results of Johnny-san’s doing. Evidences found after he hired some of private investigators. The man would surely served the remaining of his life in prison.

For a brief moment, they stayed under the sun, enjoying the calm scenery before them. Their fingers entangled.

No words were needed. Nino understood.

His love for Ohno had never changed. And Jun was right, all he did before was just to test Ohno’s conviction and love. And he was glad when he found Ohno waiting for him at the airport 12 hours later, after he told the man he was coming back.

That night he was home, they kissed, made love to each other as if there was no tomorrow. Words of love, assurance coming from Ohno’s mouth. And he knew, he made the right choice to give the man a chance that he never had before.

They turned around when they heard footsteps approaching. Quickly, they stood, greeting the 3 guests.

It was silent for a brief moment, before Jun broke it.

“You heard about it?” Jun asked. Nino assumed that Jun was talking about Arashi’s disbandment. 35 years in the industry, they decided that it was time to end. Somehow, he nodded.

“Want to be on stage for one last time? I’m sure Johnny-san won’t mind.”

“I’ll tell you my decision later?”

Jun clicked his tongue. “I wish you will just say yes. Maybe you can collaborate with Sho-kun one last time.”

Nino rolled his eyes. “Fine then. It’s a yes.”

They laughed.

But then, they fell silent again.

There was a heavy feeling in his chest. Arashi was the best thing that ever happen in his life. To hear the end of it, it saddened him. And it reminded him that he still had an apology to make to the other members.

“I’m sorry...” he paused, biting his lips. Four pairs of eyes fell on him. “For leaving. For everything.”

Sho pat him on his shoulder.

“Past is past, Nino,” he said. “Your future is here. Take care of it,” Sho said, subtly looking at Ohno as he spoke. Nino nodded in response. A simple phrase together with a smile. He knew, they forgave him.

“So, shall we start our bbq session?” Aiba suddenly said, moving up to the bbq pit. Both Jun and Sho laughed as they follow the man’s lead.

Nino and Ohno didn’t immediately join the three men. They kept watching the three of them preparing the food, silently enjoying each other’s presence.

This is the happiness they’ve been looking. For Nino especially.

When Ohno tightened their entangled fingers, he turned to look at the man.

“Kazu.”

“Hmm?”

“I love you,”

Nino laughed.

“Forever and ever?”

Ohno turned to look at him.

“More than ever.”

Nino smiled.

10 years of waiting, and this time Ohno was sure. It worth it.

___________________________________________________________________________________

give me sometimes perhaps until the end of the year, i'll write a happy Ohmiya fic :)

Title : Losing Him - Chapter 8

Lenght: Chapter

Author: ica_90

beta by:

jtaytt (Thanks girl!!)

Pairing : Ohmiya (for 85% of the fic), Matsumiya (Friendship,in the next few chapters), Aimiya (Friendship, in the next few chapters), mostly friendship in this one for every other pair

Genre : Angst, Friendship, AU (because Nino quits Arashi, please advice if it’s not)

Rating : NC-17

Summary : Few weeks after Ohno rejected Nino’s confession, Nino decided to quit Arashi, making Ohno wonder if his rejection was the reason. But he has his own suspicions, and he wanted to know.

CHAPTER 8

“Attention to passengers for flight 3104 to New York, please proceed to gate 5 for boarding.”

Nino sighed.

“What were you thinking?” he asked himself. Deep inside, he couldn’t stop wondering if he actually made the right decision to accept Johnny-san’s offer. He decided too fast and now he started to have doubts.

A flash of Ohno’s face appeared in his head. Will he ever stop loving that man? No, he never. He still loved Ohno, even though the man had rejected him. Even when he could see the sincerity in the man’s eyes, when he begged him to stay that night, he couldn’t bring himself to accept Ohno again in his life.

He had sinned. He had been tainted. Ohno deserved someone better. Someone other than him.

Even before Johnny-san had offered him this chance. He’s been trying to find ways to leave, to get far away from Ohno. He loved Ohno and he wanted Ohno to make a right choice, to find a woman who he can love and be happy with. But to stay in Japan, witnessing that, he knew his heart couldn’t take it.

Hence, when Johnny-san offered him the chance to chase after his dream in New York, he knew this is the perfect opportunity. And perhaps, he’ll come back when things get a little bit better between the two of them.

He heaved one hard sigh. “This is it,” he said to himself. “I have nothing to lose.”

Slowly, he stood up, gripping his bag firmly, getting ready to board the plane. He was determined; he has too.

He was literally dragging his legs to the immigration gate when he heard someone screaming his name. Somehow, he laughed. Lately he had been hearing Ohno’s voice a lot inside his head. God, he missed that man.

“Nino!” he tried to ignore the voice, fastening his pace towards the gate. But after a few steps, he was stopped by a hand gripping his wrist, pulling him into a warm embrace. He sniffed the scent the man was wearing, feeling nostalgic as he breathed it in. That when he realized, he wasn’t imagining things.

“Satoshi.” he acknowledged the man’s presence. He was about to push the man away so that he could have one last look at the man before he left. But when he felt the man’s hand tighten around him, he let it be, silently enjoying the man’s warmth.

“How dare you leave without saying goodbye,” said Ohno. Nino could hear the shakiness in the man’s voice when he spoke. His lips formed a faint smile.

“You’re not good with goodbyes.”

“You and me both.”

Slowly, Ohno let him go. They stared at each other for a brief moment. Time passed in an awkward silence. Nino broke it when he started to speak.

“So I guess Masaki told you?” Ohno nodded. “That idiot. Even though I told him not to.”

Ohno chuckled bitterly.

“Not everything though. I don’t know where you’re going. My intuition told me to go to Narita. Here I am,” he said, biting his lower lips. Nino could see tears welling up the man’s eyes. “It saddens me. You’re leaving.”

“I’m chasing my forgotten dreams. I’m going to New York. Johnny-san’s one last favor.”

Silence.

“Ohno-san,” Nino started again. He gathered up his courage, wondering if another rejection could hurt him again. But he wanted to know, if after all the things that happened, and after Ohno finally knew the truth, did the man change how he feels about him? He refused to live in regret of not knowing.

“Do you love me?”

He saw Ohno bit his lower lips again. He could see the man avoiding his stare. And when Ohno finally replied to him, he knew, he’s making the right decision.

“I don’t know.”

“Good then…”

“I don’t understand Nino. If I don’t love you, why does it hurt so badly, just to think that you’re leaving?”

Nino smiled bitterly.

“Goodbye is sad, Ohno-san. Even for friends,”

Friends. They will always be friends. That’s what they are in mind.

“I need to get going Ohno-san,” he said, holding out his hand. “Goodbye?”

“Nino…”

“Forget everything that happened. Forget I asked about this. Don’t carry a single guilt about the things that happened to me. Promise me, Ohno-san.”

Ohno frowned. Nino took his hand into his, gripping it tight as he continued.

“Promise me that you’ll be happy. Find a fine woman and marry her. And be happy with her.”

“That will make you leave me forever,” Ohno said, cutting him.

The grip in his hand tightened.

“You don’t have to leave, Nino. I’ll give us a chance.”

“You don’t love me, Ohno-san.”

“Make me love you then,” Ohno said. Somehow Nino laughed, feeling funny over the man’s words. “Let me learn to love you. You know you can…”

“Don’t make random assumption. And what will happen if I fail? What if after years of trying, you realize that you never love me. I’ll be heartbroken again by then and if that thing happen, ohno-san, I don’t think I can live anymore.

Ohno fell silent. Slowly, he let go of the man’s hand. His eyes never left the man’s face, observing the sadness on the Nino’s face. One last smile, Nino turned around, heading to the immigration gate.

The heavy feeling in his chest got stronger. He knew he was going to lose Nino now and forever. In all those years, Nino was always an important presence in his life. Even when he was dating some other girls. Then it hits him hard as he remembered how he hated seeing Nino’s sad face.

Nino was his sunshine. He shined for him even in his dull moments. Even though Nino loved to bully him, in the end, Nino was always the one who would bring smiles to his face.

And it hit him hard.

He loved Nino. Long before he realized it.

Except, it was too late now.

“Nino!” he yelled the man’s name, stopping Nino in his steps. He ran towards the man, gasping for air while he tried to speak.

“Remember the last time, when we talk about who’s the best kisser between the two of us?” Ohno asked. Nino frowned. “You said I couldn’t do it better than you,”

But before Nino could even responded, Ohno pulled him towards him, letting their lips meet. He was shocked at first, but then Ohno’s hand brushed into his hair, pulling him as their kiss deepened.

They kissed, silently enjoying the kiss. It was sweet and loving. How they wished it could last much longer.

They pulled away, foreheads still touching to each other.

“I’ll wait,” Ohno whispered. “Go and chase your dream. Come back and you’ll find me waiting,”

Nino smirked. “Really? I’m not convinced.”

“You waited for me before, Nino. It’s my time now.”

Nino laughed.

They pulled away, but not before Ohno took his hand in his, entangled their fingers as he walked together with Nino towards the immigration gate. The heavy feeling in his chest grew, but he knew, Nino’s heart needed to be healed. And he couldn’t help the man now.

Perhaps in the future, when Nino comes back, he’ll make sure that he is able to heal the man’s scarred heart.

“This is not goodbye,” Nino said. Ohno noticed how the man’s cheeks were blushing when he said the next words. “You win. Thank you.”

Just when Nino disappeared from his sight, he finally realized what Nino meant.

“I’ll wait,” he said. A smile curled up his lips. Under his conscious mind, he muttered “I love you Nino.”
***
do you guys need an epilogue? :/

Title : Losing Him - Chapter 7
Lenght: Chapter

Author: ica_90

beta by:

jtaytt (Thanks girl!!)

Pairing : Ohmiya (for 85% of the fic), Matsumiya (Friendship,in the next few chapters), Aimiya (Friendship, in the next few chapters), mostly friendship in this one for every other pair

Genre : Angst, Friendship, AU (because Nino quits Arashi, please advice if it’s not)

Rating : NC-17

Summary : Few weeks after Ohno rejected Nino’s confession, Nino decided to quit Arashi, making Ohno wonder if his rejection was the reason. But he has his own suspicions, and he wanted to know.

____________________________________________________________________
Final chapter was done. i wonder if you guys will feel enough XD

Title : Losing Him - Chapter 6
Lenght : Chapter
Author : ica_90
beta by :

jtaytt (Thanks girl!!)
Pairing : Ohmiya (for 85% of the fic), Matsumiya (Friendship,in the next few chapters), Aimiya (Friendship, in the next few chapters), mostly friendship in this one for every other pair
Genre : Angst, Friendship, AU (because Nino quits Arashi, please advice if it’s not)
Rating : NC-17
Summary : Few weeks after Ohno rejected Nino’s confession, Nino decided to quit Arashi, making Ohno wonder if his rejection was the reason. But he has his own suspicions, and he wanted to know.

Ohno couldn’t sort his feelings out. When he finally knew the truth behind Nino’s decision, everything started to rush in. Sadness, guilt, frustration. Everything mixed into one huge emotion that he couldn’t even voice it out.

“What do you want to hear from me, Ohno –san? You don’t love me. I get it! I made a mistake by hoping that you would be my savior!”

Nino’s words yesterday echoed through his head, stabbing his heart again and again. Years of being friends with the man, yet he couldn’t be someone for him to rely on.

But then, he never be someone for Nino to rely on. He always took, without giving anything back to the man. Nino was suffering all these years, pain inflicted by Sugimoto and by him, who kept dating one girl after another, proudly sharing his happiness with Nino. He was so blinded that he did not see how hard it was for the other man who was loving him, yet he got nothing in return.

When Jun decided to meet the others today, Ohno really was at a lost. He couldn’t figure out a way of telling Sho or Aiba about everything. He wondered if Sho would be mad, knowing how much Sho cared about Nino. He wondered if Aiba would break down, judging from the way Aiba was silent the whole time. Ohno was afraid if the man was simply accumulating his stress.

In the end, he couldn’t say it all. His mind was too occupied with guilt of not being able to save Nino. It was too late. Nino was broken and there’s no way he could be fixed.

He observed Sho’s and Aiba’s reactions as Jun summarized everything that happened. He saw the frown on Sho’s face. Once in a while, he shook his head, probably unable to process everything in his head. With Aiba, Ohno couldn’t describe it. Sadness was shown on the man’s face obviously. But when their eyes met, Ohno just couldn’t help but feel a sense of guilt from him.

“I’m sorry,” he finally broke the silence. “If only I could…”

“It wasn’t your fault, Riida,” Aiba suddenly interrupted him, surprising them in the room.

“Aiba-kun,” he voiced, noticing Aiba’s shaking hand. From the beginning, Ohno had the feeling that Aiba knew something about everything that happened. But Ohno refused to force the man to spill it out.

To be honest, he was afraid. Aiba was the one who looked the most affected by the thing that happened and he didn’t want to break the man. He was afraid of losing another member, hence he never tried to ask Aiba anything about it.

Slowly, Aiba looked up to him, lips trembling, trying so hard to hold back his emotions.

“I’m sorry,” the man broke. His body shook as he moved to kneel on the floor, lowering his head before them. “I knew about everything but I never did anything to help him,”

“Aiba-kun”

“I thought that confessing to Riida would make everything right. I thought Riida would never rejected him. But I was wrong. Such a foolish thought and I just ruin everything!”

Everyone fell silence, watching Aiba who was breaking down in front of them.

For months, he held back. He felt guilty for not being able to help Nino when he needed it. He swore he would try to stop Nino, his best friend, from meeting Sugimoto again, but despite all his efforts, he failed. He was no one, compared to Sugimoto who has the power that he could use to threaten them. He made used of Nino’s weakness to abuse his rights.

If only he has the courage to tell the others about this when he first knew about it, perhaps the damage wouldn’t be this bad.

“That jerk, he said he will ruined Arashi if Nino disobey him. He said he will made our other sponsors revoke their support. He told Nino that if he obey him and he’ll bring us to the top. I swear I tried. I met Sugimoto-san, begging him to stop everything he did to Nino. But…”

Aiba paused, biting his lips. Part of him was afraid to tell another truth that will change the other members’ ideas about him. But he couldn’t bear with the guilt anymore.

“That guy is a monster. He said he will agree to let Nino leave with one condition, he told me to spend a night with him... and I did,”

Three pairs of eyes widen in shock with the sudden revelation. Aiba raised his head, observing the members’ faces; Sho’s gritting his teeth, Jun leaned back to the sofa trying to understand what he had just heard, and Ohno’s shocked face. He knew it, their views about him have changed.

But what he faced was different from Nino. The members should know about it.

“If you did what he asked, then why is Nino still obeying that jerk?” Ohno asked, trying to stay composed.

“It was a trap.” Aiba said, hiccupping. “He told Nino that if he ever disobeyed him, he would leak the tape of me and…”

“Stop,” Ohno stopped Aiba. The man did, lowering his head, gulping down his guilt as tears kept flowing down his cheek.

“Nino loves you, Riida. I thought- I thought it would make everything right by encouraging him to confess to you. I thought maybe that would make him happy after everything that happened. But- I was wrong. I’m sorry.” Aiba said. He couldn’t bring himself to look up again, afraid of the anger and contempt that he would see on the others’ faces.

He was right, Jun was madly furious.

“You should have told us, Masaki! This isn’t all about you alone. When you said it involves us, our name, it has become our problem too!”

“Then tell me!” Aiba snapped. “Tell me how are you going to save us all? By going to Sugimoto and tell him to stop whatever he was doing? Mind you, Matsujun, that was what I did and see where it lead to?”

“Yes, Masaki! You made that mistake. But that wasn’t the only solution. We could…”

“Tell the authorities?” Aiba cut him. “And destroy everything? Let it drag Arashi down into the mud? You think Johnny-san will let you do that?”

“I don’t bloody care about what the old man thinks, Aiba! All I care is that there are people who were crying while I stand in success. And those people are you and Nino. Do you even think about how bad Sho-kun, Ohno-kun, and I will feel about it?”

Silence.

Another secret. For Ohno, that was too much. Just how much mess have the other members been involved in without his knowing? With Aiba’s latest revelation, his emotions sank even further, everything was too irreparable. And deep inside, he knew Nino knew, despite how hard he was hoping to be saved, Nino knew he couldn’t.

But then, he wanted to save the man. He wanted to save them. If only he knew it earlier. There was this possibility that Nino could still be used by the old man. But if what Aiba said was true; that Nino was in love with him, perhaps, that might make Nino’s day. Knowing that he has the person he loves next to him, to support him during his bad day. And perhaps, one day, when everything ends, they would be happy by each other’s side.

His heart ached. Imagining how Nino faced those horrible nights for their sake made his heart ache. His fist tightened. His knuckles turned white as he burned the images inside his head. His anger built up that he felt like killing Sugimoto. He wanted to have Nino back in his life again, even if he is not in Arashi. The feeling of wanting to keep Nino safe next to him grew larger and larger that he almost stood up before he heard Sho’s phone vibrated in his pocket.

He looked at the man who then pulled out his phone, reading whatever message he just received. But when he saw that shocked face of Sho, he could feel his heart beating faster.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“It’s in the news. Johnny’s biggest sponsor arrested for underage sexual harassment,” Sho replied. He scooted closer to Aiba who was sitting next to him, showing him the news. “Is this the same guy?”

Aiba frowned. The face of the man in the picture has been blurred. Still... “I’m sure it is him. He had the same shape,”

There was a brief moment of silence in the room, trying to understand what they just heard. For some reasons, everything was happening too fast. But deep inside their hearts, they were glad that the man was arrested. Except-

“Was it Nino?” Ohno asked, slightly worried.

“No,” Sho shook his head. “it says in the report that it was an ex-Johnny junior”

Ohno was about to ask who. But when he looked at Aiba, whose face was grimacing painfully, with his hand on his chest and looking like he was suffocating, he stopped.

“Aiba-kun, are you ok?” he asked instead. The man nodded, an obvious gesture that he was lying, Ohno thought.

But before he could say anymore , Aiba fell to his side. His head hit the floor with a hard thud.

“AIBA-KUN!!!”
__________________________________________________________

Title : Losing Him - Chapter 5
Lenght : Chapter
Author : ica_90
beta by :

jtaytt (Thanks girl!!)
Pairing : Ohmiya (for 85% of the fic), Matsumiya (Friendship,in the next few chapters), Aimiya (Friendship, in the next few chapters), mostly friendship in this one for every other pair
Genre : Angst, Friendship, AU (because Nino quits Arashi, please advice if it’s not)
Rating : NC-17
Summary : Few weeks after Ohno rejected Nino’s confession, Nino decided to quit Arashi, making Ohno wonder if his rejection was the reason. But he has his own suspicions, and he wanted to know.

( Read more... )

2 more? 3 more chapter maybe. and an epilogue, for the sake of justice to Nino and Ohno. lol.

Title : Losing Him - Chapter 4
Lenght : Chapter
Author : ica_90
beta by :

jtaytt (Thanks girl!!)
Pairing : Ohmiya (for 85% of the fic), Matsumiya (Friendship,in the next few chapters), Aimiya (Friendship, in the next few chapters), mostly friendship in this one for every other pair
Genre : Angst, Friendship, AU (because Nino quits Arashi, please advice if it’s not)
Rating : PG for now. In my draft, it’ll go to NC-17. Only for a chapter.
Summary : Few weeks after Ohno rejected Nino’s confession, Nino decided to quit Arashi, making Ohno wonder if his rejection was the reason. But he has his own suspicions, and he wanted to know.

“You want freedom?”

Nino swore he hated himself as his memories of the day when everything started to fall apart replayed in his head. How did he fall into this deep dark life? He didn’t remember. He was supposed to be successful, to be popular, even though that was never his main objective when joining the industry.

Before he knew it, it just happened.

He never blamed anyone about everything that happened. It was his fault, all his.

That first meeting was supposed to be his fast track to success. It was, except, halfway, it turned into a life of sins.

“Sugimoto-san. Let me introduce you to the next spokeperson for your brand,”he took the man’s hand as he offered him a handshake, despite how he could see a creepy smile on the 45 years old man’s face.

“I’m Ninomiya Ka-,” he never managed to finish his words when he was pulled towards the guy who then whispered into his ear.

“Please me, and you will have your fortune in a blink of an eye,” the man said in a sneaky calculative tone.

He should have known that he would ruin his life the day he signed that contract. It was fine for the first few months, but everything turned into a mess afterwards.

It happened after 5 months Arashi had debuted. His contract with the brand was still ongoing and he was invited to a party organized by the company he modeled for. A celebration party they said, but Nino should have guessed; from that moment when everyone cheered as he walked into the place, and when he was pushed to into the seat next to Sugimoto-san, that it was the time he was going to lose his dignity.

It felt weird, his teenage body was actually responding to the man’s touch. His head felt dizzy after the few glasses of drinks they poured for him. Before he knew it, he was snuggling closer to the old man, letting the man slipped his hand into his pants, stroking his half hard dick through his subconscious. He couldn’t remember what happened next, but the next day when he woke up naked in a strange room, with a video tape left on the table in the room, he knew he had messed up.

He was disgusted. He felt used. Every single day that passed since the day was hell. He was threaten to keep pleasing the man or his secret would be exposed. Sugimoto warned him never to let anyone know about it or he’ll ruined the group that he just debuted with. God, he never cared about the group. But there were people who cared about it, someone like Jun, or Sho, or Aiba, or Ohno, they would hate him. People would hate him and that stopped him from telling anyone.

He had been living in this hell for the past eighteen years. 18 years of torture and then one day he realized how deep he was falling for Ohno. God, he wanted the man to look at him and love him back. And every single day, the feeling grew and it hurt him to see Ohno fell in love with some girls. That hurt more than being fucked forcefully by the one who treated him no better than a slave.

He wanted Ohno. But every single time he thought of telling that guy about his feelings, he felt scared. He was not a good person. He was a sinful, dirty, disgusting guy who let himself be used for the sake of his own pride. Ohno might not know about his secret right now, but surely one day he would find out and once he knew, things would never be the same again. Their friendship would be forgotten and he was sure that Ohno would look at him in disgust. Just like how Sugimoto’s bodyguard was throwing him this disgusting look every time he was called to fulfil the man’s lust.

But fifteen years wasn’t a short time. There were times when Ohno finally got a new girlfriend and he made it clear to Nino that whatever fanservice they were doing needed to stop because he was planning to have a proper life with the woman he loved.

God, he wanted to die then. He had told himself to forget his feelings for Ohno so many times and he thought he did. He thought he could.

But he was there with Ohno when the man had his break ups. He was there to support the man. It was during those times he finally realized; his feeling for Ohno never stopped. He was still in love with the man and seeing Ohno hurt was hurting him as well.

“I- I love him, Sugimoto-san,” he winced, feeling the slow intrusion into his half-prepared hole. Sugimoto loved that, torturing him slowly, painfully before he used him roughly until his strength abandoned him by the end of the night.

He heard Sugimoto chuckled behind him.

“You love him, huh?” he said, pulling out before thrusting him again making Nino groaned painfully. “You want freedom? From me?”

He hissed, as the old man started to fuck him, hard, showing the anger he was feeling with every thrust he made.

“Yes,” Nino panted hard between each thrust. “I want to begin a new life.”

Sugimoto stopped. He leaned in, their body met as he trailed wet kisses against Nino’s body, before he whispered into Nino’s ears.

“Did he know that you love him?” Nino shook his head. The old man laughed, not asking any other question as he fucked him hard again, enjoying Nino’s painful moans and screams against the pillow. He made him come again and again until the young guy was totally wasted, falling flat on the mattress.

“Tell him,” Sugimoto said, trailing his fingers down the man’s back. “Until you tell him, you are mine. If he loves you in return, I will let you go. But if he doesn’t- “

He could feel the man moving away from the bed. Nino could feel the man smirking as he was about to leave the room.

“If he doesn’t, Nino, you will officially be my slave,”

“What if I refuse?” Nino asked but the man noticed how shaky his voice was.

“I’ll leak your secret. Can you imagine what will happen to your beloved group? Friends? They’ll hate you for sure.”

That was two years ago. Two years of trying to find his courage to confessed to Ohno. Two years of hell almost every night. He would let himself be fucked by the old guy because he was too afraid to confess. But when he finally did, it didn’t turn out the way he was hoping.

No, he could never blame Ohno for it. Ohno had told him before. He wanted to have a life with a woman. A woman. Not a guy like him! He should have expected it. Yet, why was he hoping for the impossible?

Tonight was just like 18 years ago. He walked into the club, hearing the cheers from the people who was there celebrating the old man’s 60th birthday. He was dying on the inside, his mind was empty. All he wanted to do was to run away. But if he did, it would be risky to the people who he loved. Them. Arashi. Sugimoto was capable of doing things beyond what he could imagine to them. All he wanted to do was to keep them safe. That was the least he could do.

He surrendered to his fate. People was calling him the prince, but he was just Sugimoto’s slave. He walked towards his master, taking a seat next to him, ignoring how the people around him snickering, laughing sarcastically as they watched the old man touching him as he pleased.

“You don’t look happy, Nino,” Sugimoto said, pulling him closer before kissing him on his cheek.

“I’m sorry, Sugi- “

“It’s master, right?” a stinging pain was felt on his cheek when the old man slapped him. “6 months didn’t teach you anything huh? Shall I make them teach you again tonight?” the question sent shivers down his spine. His mind remembered how he was tortured, forced to devote his life, his soul for the old man. Hours of torture with various things inserted into his hole, denying his needs; he didn’t want to experience that again.

He knew where this was leading him to. He took the drink the man gave him, hoping for the night to end as soon as possible. He wanted to forget. He wanted to get drunk and to forget. No one was going to save him. All he could do was to surrender.

He felt his body grew hot and at the same time he could feel the old man slipping an ice cube into his pants. He could feel the coldness slipping down his ass, making him uncomfortable in his seat. His manhood was definitely reacting to the man’s touch, against his pants, grabbing his covered cock as wet kisses trailed along his jawline.

“Matsumoto-kun loves this, right? Your jawline. Man, he declared liking what's mine on National television. How sweet!” Sugimoto said, slipping another piece of ice cube into his pants while kissing him, making Nino to squirm on his seat.“Too bad. This belongs to me now. This and your everything.”

The words were piercing him deeply, hurting his already damaged soul. God, there was no turning back. He had already put his life in this guy’s hand eighteen years ago. He had nowhere to run, no one to turn to.

Slowly, his senses began to drift off. All he needed to do is to please. His breaths were uneven, and even just by hearing the old man’s laughs turned him on. He let the man to pull him closed, forcing a kiss on his lips, slipping his tongue into his mouth. At this point, he didn’t care anymore. It wasn’t that bad being Sugimoto’s slave, his mind screamed at him.

“Good boy, Nino,” amidst the noise, he heard the man pulled down his zipper. “For my birthday present, Nino, you will suck me,”

He didn’t say a word. He had been doing this all the time for the past six months since he quitted Arashi. Perhaps, the effect of the drugs they added to his drink had made it like this. He chuckled, before he found himself kneeling in front of the old guy, his half hard dick was just a few inches away from his mouth. He heard people cheering, and that excited him somehow even though he never truly understood why.

But before he could start, someone yanked him away from his position. All of sudden, he felt like his burden being taken away from him. He felt safe in this person’s embrace. Somehow, he snuggled even closer to the new person, sniffing in the familiar scent that he had been missing so terribly.

It’s impossible, he thought. With his eyes closed, he started crying. God, he felt so weak.

“What are you trying to do?” God, he even sounded like Ohno.

But Ohno had never sounded this angry. He was always calm. But this guy who was holding him, sounded like he’s gonna commit murder any second from now.

“You’re too late,” he heard Sugimoto chuckled. “He is already - “

“WHAT?” Another familiar voice caught Nino’s ears. “Became your slave?

Slowly he opened his eyes, just a second before he saw Sugimoto being punched hard by a guy. “This, for doing him all you pleased!”
He didn’t know what happened next, but he felt being carried away, and everything just went silent as he was driven off, away from the club.

“Nino-“ he heard Ohno calling his name.

But it was impossible, he thought. In his sleep, he cried.
__________________________________________________________________________
Extra note not related to the fic: I'm fine. but please pray for me so that i just stop thinking too much. thanks girls :)

Title : Losing Him - Chapter 3
Lenght : Chapter
Author : ica_90
beta by :

jtaytt (Thanks girl!!)
Pairing : Ohmiya (for 85% of the fic), Matsumiya (Friendship,in the next few chapters), Aimiya (Friendship, in the next few chapters), mostly friendship in this one for every other pair
Genre : Angst, Friendship, AU (because Nino quits Arashi, please advice if it’s not)
Rating : PG for now. In my draft, it’ll go to NC-17. Only for a chapter.
Summary : Few weeks after Ohno rejected Nino’s confession, Nino decided to quit Arashi, making Ohno wonder if his rejection was the reason. But he has his own suspicions, and he wanted to know.

CHAPTER 3

It saddened Ohno to think that they’ve become four instead of five for the last three months. It took him forever to get adjusted to it. The fact that it was always Nino who was beside him most of the time made it harder for him to act like nothing had happened to them.

Something did happen, and they couldn’t change it.

Within this period too, they were busy with their solo project. He and Jun were busy with shooting their drama for the next season. Aiba with his variety program shooting, while Sho had numerous of projects. All these were enough just to keep everyone busy.

It was hell. They were not allowed to talk about the sudden move made by the company, let alone to talk about Nino’s quitting the group to the media. Yet, it was the question that was often asked whenever they had to promote their activities.

For god sake, it’s hurt. Experiencing someone leaving the group when they had made so many promises together.

No one knew Nino’s whereabout. For the past months too, they were trying to find the guy. It was Nino’s decision, they knew they had to accept it and to respect his decision.

But it happened so suddenly. There were rumors surfing around and truth to be told, the dark rumors were so plausible that they need to know if they were.

They’ve been looking for the guy at his old apartment, even though they knew he won’t be there. His phone could no longer be reached and by now, they knew Nino had left them without a trace.

It has been a week since Ohno met with the other two, without Aiba. He could see they’re at the verge of giving up. He won’t stop them though, it was their life. But even without the two of them, he will still be trying to find out the truth. Something inside him told him that he was the reason, and he needed to know if it was true.

“I just feel that maybe we should let-“

“I will, Jun.” Ohno snapped. “He wanted to quit. It was his decision and I accepted it. I will let it go. But there’re a lot of things left unanswered. It’s bothering me,”

They fell silent.

He talked to Jun and Sho a lot about this. About his feeling, about how things that happened were bothering him. And there was Aiba, whose cheerful side was gone since the day the news broke.

Ohno could see the guy wasn’t happy. He talked lesser and lesser each day. Being in Arashi wasn’t his happiest time anymore. Every single thing he did, looked forced and the things that they had once looked forward to had turned into something wasn’t fun to do anymore.

At this point, Ohno wondered, if he never rejected Nino’s confession, would this even happened? And he kept wondering about it.

“I’m losing hope even though I really want to meet him again,” Sho suddenly spoke, startling him from his thought. He looked at the guy who then sighed before he continued again. “I want to know. But I felt betrayed. Meeting him again, I’m afraid I’ll go berserk. Hence, I believe it’s better for me to lose hope,”

Sho’s words have some truth in them. All of them were frustrated with the sudden decision made by Nino. He did remember that one night when all of them gathered in his room. It was among the nicest memories he had.

“I won’t leave halfway,” Jun had said.

“We’ll leave when we achieved everything, ok? Even if that takes 80 years,” Sho said in between his drunk giggles.

He still remembered Nino laughing afterward, smacking Aiba’s and Sho’s head hard when they hug each other in tears, wailing about how much they love Arashi.

“Yeah, we should stay until the end of the world,” Nino responded, laughing amusingly at the sight in front of him.

Did the words mean nothing to him? Ohno wondered.

“Fine then,” Ohno replied, dejected. “It’s ok. You guys can stop searching for him now,”

The meeting ended there.

***
But one day, Ohno finally get his answer.

Ohno never knew what made him decided to leave his house that day when he usually prefers to stay at home or go fishing on his day off.

But that day was different. Despite his tiredness, he could literally feel his head screaming for him to go out, to head to a certain club where he used to go. And so he did.

The cacophony inside the club was something he was used to. It was a private club. A friend introduced him to the place and since then, this has always been the place he would go for a drink.

“The usual, please,” he ordered right after he took his seat at the bar, and the bartender nodded to his request.

The club was slightly more crowded than it used to. There were women in their fashionable and sexy clothes, dancing at the middle area of the dance floor, allowing guys to touch them freely. He watched, yet it didn’t make him feel excited at all. In fact, he was curious.

“Where are these people from?” he asked the bartender again.

“Oh. It’s Sugimoto-san’s birthday. They’re all his people, private invitation,”

“Sugimoto-san?”

“Yeah. See the guy at the big table?“ the bartender pointed at the old guy who was seating smugly, surrounded by a few beautiful girls and boys. “He’s the owner of some popular brands in the country. Used to sponsor a lot of idols, I heard. So I guess, no one wanted to miss the party.”

Ohno nodded. Sugimoto-san. That guy must be filthy rich, he thought.

“It’s his 60th birthday. But I’ll tell you Ohno-san, he is someone you want to make friend with. Don’t respond if anyone tried to talk to you. It could hurt your image,” the bartender warned.

Ohno frowned. That sounded serious. Of course, observing the event itself, Ohno notice how some people were to scary for him to make friends with anyway.

But then, something clicked inside his head.

Sugimoto-san.

The name sounded familiar to his ears. He tried hard to figure out who the guy was because it was a name that he had heard of, but he never once met.

“Here comes the prince!” someone shouted making the people inside the bar to cheer. People were applauding, cheering, welcoming the new guest who made his way into the club in his slump posture. Ohno’s eyes widen in surprised.

God, he missed the guy. Not a single detail changed from Nino’s face. Yet, Ohno noticed; the guy wasn’t happy. Sadness with empty eyes. Nino looked skinny than he used to remember. But nothing bothered him, even more, when he saw Nino made his way next to the old guy before he took his seat next to the man.

“That is Ninomiya,”

“Eh, really? He was the one who quitted that group, right?”

“Yeah. But if I was him, I would too. Having Sugimoto-san supporting me for my whole life, who wouldn’t dream that?”

Hearing the conversation between the two guys, probably guests of the event, made his blood boiled. It was possible, he thought. But Nino didn’t look comfortable with the man at all. He saw, how the man wrapped his arms around Nino’s slender figure, pulling him closer as he disgustingly snuggled, kissing Nino in front of the people inside the club.

Nino on the other hand was not pushing or even reacting. His stare was blanked, letting the old man do whatever he pleased to him. He showed a little resistance when the old guy tried to kiss him, surrendering when the old guy used a little force on him. God, he treated Nino like his own personal slave.

He hated it!

And then, slowly but surely things started to fall into place. It might be his assumption, but he knew some how that Nino’s decision had something to do with that guy himself. Was he threatened? Was he in trouble? Was he in debt to the guy that he needed to forget his own dream because of it?

But what he saw next drove him to the brink of absolute fury. His body shook, his fist clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Hearing people cheering over what he saw made him even madder. So much so that he felt the need to leave immediately.

He pulled out his phone, dialing Jun’s number.

_________________________________________________________
ok. next chapter, gonna reveal part of the reason why Nino left. it's still blurry though but it leads to everything... see you girls next chapter =)

Title : Losing Him - Chapter 2
Lenght : Chapter
Author : ica_90
beta by :

jtaytt thanks girl!!!
Pairing : Ohmiya (for 85% of the fic), Matsumiya (Friendship,in the next few chapters), Aimiya (Friendship, in the next few chapters), mostly friendship in this one for every other pair
Genre : Angst, Friendship, AU (because Nino quits Arashi, please advice if it’s not)
Rating : PG for now. In my draft, it’ll go to NC-17. Only for a chapter.
Summary : Few weeks after Ohno rejected Nino’s confession, Nino decided to quit Arashi, making Ohno wonder if his rejection was the reason. But he has his own suspicions, and he wanted to know.

Chapter 2

( Read more... )

Ohno had once thought about this day. He had once thought about quitting. Most of the time, he thought about the probability of them continuing as four when one decided to leave. But, never once in all of his thought, had the idea of Nino quitting came to his mind.

He knew Nino. They were so damn close. There’s almost nothing that they could hide from each other. Except who they were dating. Now that he thought about it, he could clearly remember the time when the news of him living with a girl broke; Nino was so damn frustrated that day.

But with this thing happening, Ohno couldn’t help but wonder if there was something that Nino was hiding from him.

He had sent messages to the guy countless times. None of them was read. While part of him wanted to know the reason behind Nino’s decision, a part of him also wanted to know how was the man doing. What was happening? Was he alright? How difficult was the decision for him? Does Nino need his support right now? If that guy needed his support, he wanted to be there. But in the end, he got nothing in reply.

On the seventh day since the news broke, the four of them was called for an urgent meeting. The decision made in the meeting was expected; they’ll go hiatus for the remaining six months. All of their activities would focus on the members remaining in the group.

He watched, observed every single reaction made by the people in the meeting room when they finally concluded the meeting. He could see frustration on every members’ faces, while listening to the management staff, there was nothing they could say in return. Accepting. Somehow that sent shiver to his body.

This was real. And they had to accept it.

But when he looked at old Johnny’s face, there was this uncomfortable reaction the guy made. For a brief moment, they stared at each other, until the old man decided to move his sight away from him.

“Why aren’t you stopping him?” Ohno asked, once all of the staff left the meeting room. Only the members were remaining.”Why did you let him to leave? I thought you kept assuring me that we are your main cash cow that losing one member will hurt you greatly. Why?”

“Ohno-kun-“

“You know something right?” he continued, ignoring Sho’s warning tone as he said his name. “You’ve been avoiding my gaze the whole time!”

“Satoshi-kun!”

“We need the answer, Sho! I know you wanted to know it too! What I don’t understand is why is it so easy for you to let him go!” Ohno snapped, voicing out his frustration. Subconsciously, he was pointing his finger at the old boss.

It annoyed him how all sorts of questions were pestering him since the day Nino left. It annoyed him even more when he couldn’t get any answer to them. He couldn’t deny it too; how this mess up feeling he was having now was because he was feeling guilty knowing he might be a part of the reason behind Nino’s decision.

Something was happening around them and they didn’t even know what it was. And whatever that happened, was definitely the reason why Nino decided to leave. There’s no possible way the old boss approved Nino’s decision without hearing the guy out. And from the way Johnny-san was looking at them, he believed the guy knew something.

Why couldn’t he just spit it out?

The old man heaved a sigh.

“One thing I hope from the four of you now, is to accept and respect his decision,” the old man said, sounding so calm, which infuriated Ohno even more. He clenched his hand, his knuckles turning white as he tried to suppressed all of the anger inside him while he looked at the old man who stood up from his seat, heading towards the door.

“No one can hide the truth. One day you’ll know it. But on that day when you finally get to know the real reason, respect his decision-“

He made his way to the door, stopping before he pulled the handle.

“-and I’m sorry for not being able to stop him before everything happened,” the old man continued before he left the room.

There was no mistake that they heard how sorry the man sounded when he spoke. It was full of sympathy and the one thing that couldn’t be hidden; the man was feeling guilty for everything that had happened. That made Ohno’s suspicion towards the man grew even greater.

No one said a word afterward. Everyone was in their deep thoughts, wondering, figuring where will their future be heading. Arashi was the best thing that happened to them, despite all the hardship they faced. To them, losing a member was like a great big slap to their faces.

But Ohno had something in his mind. The more he thought about it, the more it was driving him mad. He eyed every member’s face. Nothing had changed from before. They were frustrated yet they never voiced it out.

“I want to know-“ he said, breaking the silence in the greenroom. His words managed to draw the others’ attention to him. Three pairs of eyes were looking at him now.

He hesitated at first, taking his time to voice out his thoughts. But looking at eveything that had happened, deciphering the puzzle with every piece of information he obtained, he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. With one deep breathe, he spoke again.

“What if everything that happened has something to do with Johnny-san?” he blurted out.

“Oi Ohno!” Sho snapped, warning him with a look.

Sho’s reaction was expected. They shouldn’t be making wild assumption. But for god sake, it’s bothering him deeply.

But looking at the other threes’ reactions, he knew, maybe he was wrong.

“Ok fine. Maybe not him,” he paused. “But what if, let’s say the management?”

“Ohno-kun, that’s a very dangerous accusation,” this time, Jun replied, stopping Sho from saying anything. “Can you imagine what will happen if people hear about this?”

Ohno clicked his tongue in annoyance. “It’s a possibilty. I’m not convinced either. Thank god if it’s not true. But what if it is?”

Silence.

“Then we’re in the deep shit. All of us.” Jun replied. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Aiba, looking restless with the new hypothesis. But Jun refused to make another one. Deep inside him, he wished, if Aiba did know something, he would talk to them, answering all questions that were running in their minds right now.

“I want to know,” Ohno said. He bit his lips. Like a cue, every single memories he had with Nino flooded in his mind, tugging his heart into sadness. A week had passed since the news broke. Few weeks had passed since the last time he saw that guy.

God, he missed Nino.

“I want to know,” he repeated. “Even if that means that I have to reveal every dark secret that will lead to it,”

“Even if it ruins us all?” Sho asked, slighly worried over the guy’s declaration.

Somehow, Ohno sighed. He knew he was being selfish. But for once, he needed to be selfish.

Slowly, he looked up to the three guys in the room, feeling guilty over what he was going to say next. He needed their support, but he didn’t deserved it.

“Yes,” he said, pausing before he continued. “I’m sorry.”

Only Jun nodded to his words.

______________________________________________________________________________
hurrrmmmm.. let's see if i can rush the posting. only if i finished writing chapter 5 this friday, you girls will get the next chapter on saturday.
see ya~~

Title : Losing Him - Chapter 1
Lenght : Chapter
Author : ica_90
Pairing : Ohmiya (for 85% of the fic), Matsumiya (Friendship,in the next few chapters), Aimiya (Friendship, in the next few chapters), mostly friendship in this one for every other pair
Genre : Angst, Friendship, AU (because Nino quits Arashi, please advice if it’s not)
Rating : PG for now. In my draft, it’ll go to NC-17. Only for a chapter.
Summary : Few weeks after Ohno rejected Nino’s confession, Nino decided to quit Arashi, making Ohno wonder if his rejection was the reason. But he has his own suspicions, and he wanted to know.

Chapter 1

The green room had turn into chaos within the second their manager broke the news to them. It was hell. With Jun going up to their manager furiously, telling him to stop joking about it. Sho was enraged when he left the room and no one knew where he was heading. Aiba was at one side of the room sitting quietly, his stare was empty directing at Ohno.

Nino had decided to quit Arashi.

That one sentence from the manager stabbed him in every direction. He should have guess it. In the last two weeks, Nino started to keep a distance with him, became silent and refusing to talk other than when necessary. He could see, as days passed, how the man became unapproachable, his eyes started to lose the sparks and the smile started to be forced. The last time they meet, Nino was avoiding him with all his might.

He couldn’t help to wonder if the rejection was the reason behind the man’s decision. Nino looked completely devastated the other day and had become worse since then. No more jokes, no more teasing, no more sitting next to each other when they had their private time together in the green room. Nino didn’t even reply his message regarding their change of schedule.

At first, he thought it was normal. He thought that Nino might need some time for himself after what he said. Knowing Nino, the man would be fine after a few days and they’ll be fine again. He and his foolish thoughts. But then, it didn’t. Before he knew it, the distance between them grew even wider and they never spoke again.

He missed the man. What he heard today scared him. He thought he was giving the right answer, but then, it was just a move that resulted in him losing Nino.

“You should have known better!” Jun yelled, startled him. “He talked to you all the time. You should know the reason behind all of this mess,”

Jun was furious. Ohno could see that. The guy was looking at him with an intense glare, demanding an answer that Ohno wasn’t even sure if it was the truth. He stared back at Jun, hoping by doing so Jun would just drop the topic. He just wasn’t ready to tell anyone about it.

“Arghhh!!! Next time I see him, I’m gonna kill him for being a quitter!” Jun said, kicking the sofa in the greenroom, startling Ohno. But nothing shocked him more than when Aiba snapped.

“He’s not a quitter!”

“Then what?” Jun shot back. “A loser? After all the things we achieved, after all the thing we promised to face together, and all of sudden he decided to quit? Without an explanation to us!”

AIba gritted his teeth.

“You don’t know him, Matsujun,”

“If you know him so well, tell us then! The reason why he decided to quit this group!”

Aiba fell silence. His body was shaking, perhaps for holding his anger inside. But instead of explaining anything, he left, leaving both Jun and Ohno inside the room. The room became silent again. Jun calmed down a little from earlier but Ohno could still see his frustration just by looking at the man’s back. Of course, it’s inevitable and it is how they’re supposed to be feeling right now. Frustrated. Angry. Confused. The emotions mixing together as one, rendering them helpless.

He wished that it was just a joke. Nino loved to joke. But with the signs the guy was giving them for the past week, a joke has become an impossible conclusion.

And it was confirmed when Sho came back a few minutes later, much calmer than he was when he left the room.

“Tell me it’s not true,” Jun said, his voice shaking.

Sho sighed, shaking his head.

“Unfortunately, it is. Johnny-san showed me his resignation letter-“

“And that old man approved it?” this time, Sho nodded. “You’re joking,”

“I wish I am, Matsujun…“ Sho replied, pausing his words as he looked at Ohno. He was frowning and wondering as he walked towards Ohno. His look was stern when he spoke up.

“You know the exact reason for his decision, right? Spill it!” Sho said, sounding serious. But all Ohno remained silent.

***

It took him an entire day before he finally was able to tell the other members about what happened between him and Nino weeks ago. Jun and Sho were much calmer than they were yesterday but Aiba was silent. At one point, Ohno wondered if Aiba was going to be the next Nino, judging from the way the man acted since the news broke.

The news had gone public few hours after they got to know about it. The damage was pretty irreparable. A few of the sponsors decided to withdraw their support while others were contemplating about renewing the contracts after they were over. Their next album was postponed and it was almost 100% that they would have to redo. Even worst, gone hiatus.

“But I don’t think that’s the only reason,” Jun spoke, breaking the silence that flooded the room after Ohno finished his part of the story. He told the guys that Nino had confessed to him and he had rejected the man. And everything has gone downhill since that day.

“I wish it wasn’t, Matsujun. But haven’t you noticed? He was silent for weeks, giving us a cold reaction and then, he was just gone. Right after I rejected his feeling,”

Jun shook his head.

“Did you feel guilty when you did that?” Sho shoot a question, making him pause, frowning to think of an answer.

It was confusing to him. The confession came suddenly. Nino was someone so dear to him but he never thought of having any romantic relationship with him. But when Nino came up to him, eyes showed desperation as he said, “I need you to hear me out, will you listen to me?”, something inside him snapped. But he couldn’t reciprocate the man’s feeling.

That was what he thought the last time. But now, Nino was gone. Deep inside, he was longing for the man’s presence. He was used to having Nino next to him and now that the guy was gone, he felt lost.

It was damn confusing.

Somehow, Sho sighed when he received nothing as a reply.

“Hear me out, Ohno-san,” Jun said. “I don’t think that’s the only reason. There must be something other than that.”

Ohno blinked a few times, confused. For some reason, Jun sighed. He never thought it would be so difficult for him to explain, especially now when he wasn’t sure of the reason too. But one thing he knew for sure, Nino wasn’t a guy who quit just because he was rejected.

“He is professional, Ohno-san. Unless it was something very personal, I don’t think he will decide to quit just because you rejected him,”

“I agree,” Sho said out of sudden. “I’ve been trying to ask around. Our managers, Julie-san. But none of them have any idea on what was happening. It seems like the only person who know about this is Johnny-san,”

“Maybe he is,” Jun replied curtly. Somehow, he sighed.

The greenroom had turned quiet the moment Jun finished with his words. Ohno eyed the guy for his reaction. Jun was serious and for once Ohno sure the guy perhaps knew something behind the things that happened. Except, the guy don’t.

Jun’s attention turned and was directed to Aiba who has been silent throughout the conversation. At first, Ohno thought that it was because Aiba was Nino’s best friend and his decision was affecting him. But then he remembered the argument Aiba and Jun had a few days ago, something struck him.

“Aiba-kun…“ Jun spoke, slightly startling the guy. “If you know something, please do not hide it,”

All Aiba did was biting his lips before he shook his head a second later.

His eyes met Aiba for a brief second afterwards. An obvious disappointment was shown in the way Aiba was looking at him before he took his sight away from Ohno.

At this point he was sure of two things. One; he was the reason behind Nino’s decision and two, Aiba knew something. His suspicion grew greater when he thought more about it, trying to solve the two puzzles he just created. Perhaps Jun was right. There might be another reason behind this. Something darker and Aiba just couldn’t give away the secret.

And he determined to find out why.

_______________________________________________________________________
a/n : I really have problem on delivering my emotions into this fic. sorry if you find this boring. hopefully i can thrill you enough.

Title : Losing Him - Prologue
Length : Chapter
Author : ica_90
Pairing : Ohmiya (for 85% of the fic), Matsumiya (Friendship,in the next few chapters), Aimiya (Friendship, in the next few chapters), mostly friendship in this one for every other pair
Genre : Angst, Friendship, AU (because Nino quits Arashi, please advice if it’s not)
Rating : PG for now. In my draft, it’ll go to NC-17. Only for a chapter.
Summary : Few weeks after Ohno rejected Nino’s confession, Nino decided to quit Arashi, making Ohno wonder if his rejection was the reason. But he has his own suspicions, and he wanted to know.
Warning :sex-scandal ahead.

“I love you.”

He felt his voice shook, and at some point, he knew it sounded broken. But he needed Ohno to know, needed him to understand. But most of all, even though how selfish it seemed, he needed Ohno to love him too.

But all there was looming between them was an ominous silence as Nino waited for Ohno's answer, Nino was staring at Ohno with anticipation. The other man, in turn, looked shocked from the confession-jaw slacken, eyes slightly widen, blinking as if wrapping his head around the words that left Nino's mouth.

Nino was looking at him with desperation, and a thousand hopes filling in his chest.

It has been years since he realized he really loved Ohno. It wasn’t a simple crush or the thought of Ohno as his savior. His life has been way too crooked and messed up for Ohno to save him. But he loved Ohno and years of enduring the secret of his love for the man deep in his heart, he just needed Ohno to love him back. Desperately needing it.

But when Ohno finally closed his mouth, looking much more composed and more serious than usual, Nino knew. The hope he had all these years would never be realized without having to hear the rejection out of Ohno's mouth, his heart shattered in pieces.

“Nino, I-“

“It’s impossible, right?” He cut Ohno off from saying his apology. his lips quivering, wanting to say more word just to keep the situation less awkward between them. The words, however, were stuck in his throat.

When Ohno sighed, Nino started to hate his life for everything that happened.

“I really appreciated it, Nino. I really do,” Ohno said, patting Nino softly on the shoulder. By, Nino had started sniffing.

His life has been unfair to him. He never believed in love since he was a child. He thought he would be able to make his life better when he reluctantly went to audition to join this jimusho. Before he knew it, he was one step to hell. He was used. He was threatened. He could never be happy in spite all the things he had achieved. And now, his one last hope ruined his chances for that.

“Nino-“ Ohno sounded concerned when he reached out for the man but before he could, Nino pushed his hand away.

“it’s ok. Don’t mind me. I’m- fine.” Nino replied instead, trying to sound like he was. But Ohno knew Nino well enough to know when he really was or not--even when Nino wouldn't voice it out. Today was the worst he had seen of Nino, looking more fragile than before. And he knew it was because of his answer. Eighteen years spending his life time with Nino, today is the day that Ohno knew his answer had made shattered the guy. He regrets that but if he couldn't love Nino, why string him along?

“you’re my friend Nino. I don’t want things to go wrong between us,”

Nino nodded, seemingly understood.

And the topic never resurfaced since.

Though, one thing that Ohno never knew was, it was the first step to the darkest revelation and a step of losing Nino, not only as a friend but as someone important to him and to the rest of Arashi.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Short? Well, it's a prologue, and I'm not planning to make this long either. The fic will have a prologs + 8 chapters + and epilog with every chapter will be around 1300 words to 2500 words.
And I need a beta. As i hv my pace (300 words/day) in finishing this fic, i need a beta who can work faster so that i can post it fast too. this chapter was betaed by shardaunei, but as she's writing her own fic now, i refused to disturbed her with mine. You'll be checking on my grammar and paraphrasing it to make it flows better. So, anyone? PM me :)
Oh, and hey. Comments are loved <3

Disclaimer: I don’t know Arashi personally and high possibility that I will never know them ever. This is just for my guilty pleasure in handling my stress. All of these prompts were taken from ‘unsure’ sources as someone tag me in facebook and the credit there only mention tumblr and weibo. If anyone would like to claim that this translation was yours, please tell me and I’ll properly credit you in my post.
(I’m not sure if it is correct, but these were from an interview it seems)

#prompt 1 : Sho – “Press her on the wall and says at her ear “Don’t you like me?” Ah, i am super dangerous. (laughs)”

Title : Topless
Pairing Sakuraiba (521 words)
Romance : Romance, Non-AU
Rating : PG-15

He was topless, thanks to their stylist who wrongly brought his costume for today’s PV shooting. His stylist had apologized for a countless time before he rushed out the room, heading to the other building where his supposed costumes were left out, leaving him and the other members inside their green room.
It has been almost an hour and he has started to shiver, taking the fact that it was snowy outside and someone forgot to turn up the heater for god only know why. For the sake of time, Jun, Ohno, and Nino had left the green room for the studio in the other building, leaving him and Sho in an awkward silent. And within those hours too, Aiba noticed that Sho’s eyes were following him, with that creepy smile form on the man’s lips. That made everything even more awkward.

How idiot can he be, being topless in such weather while being left alone in the room with his ex-byfriend for two years?

Slowly, he stood up from his seat, trying to look out for something that could cover his body. He remembered Jun usually had his towel inside his bag and he decided to borrow it from the man and will tell Jun later about it. But before he did, Sho offered his.

“Thank you,” Aiba said, slightly blushing when he saw Sho’s eyes looking at his abs. Quickly he covered his body, slightly wondering why was he blushing over the fact that Sho was staring him.

But before he could think even further, he felt his hand was grabbed, before he realized it was Sho’s, pulling him before pinning him on the wall, trapped with Sho’s face a few centimeters apart.

Sho’s breath on his cold skin for some reason makes him fluttered. But not as much when the man leaned in, closing their distance before he whispered with such a low seductive voice.

“Don’t you like me?” he said. Sho’s warm breath felt like tickling him that he felt his stomach churned.

“I- I-“ Aiba tried to say something in return, but all he did was stumbling upon his word.

Until he felt Sho’s hand trailing on his abs.

“I miss these, Masaki. Your abs-“ Sho said, nibbling his ears soft with his hand still roaming on the man’s abs, silently enjoying Aiba’s groans when he did that. “They’re well define,”

“I used to have a good master,” Aiba said. His eyes closed, slightly enjoying the man’s touch on his body. But then, the touch stopped. As he opened his eyes, he was greeted with Sho’s victorious smirks.

“My house tonight?” Aiba asked, trying to hide his excitement yet he failed as it could be heard in his shaky voice.

Sho raised and amusing eyebrows. “Does that makes us ‘Us’ again?”

Aiba shrugged. “if you really missed this, why not?”

“Sounds awesome,” Sho replied, pausing. Once again, he pulled the man towards him, leading Aiba to the couch before he made the man to lie on the long couch, chuckling when he saw the pink shades on the man’s cheek. “But we can have it here too, now- “

When the stylist arrived in front of their green room five minutes later, he decided it wasn’t a good time to enter. Especially when he heard moans and grunts coming from the inside of the green room.

Title : Confidence
Pairing : Sakumiya (515 words)
Genre : Romance, Non-AU
Rating : PG-15

One thing Nino didn’t like about Sho was how proud he was with everything. His life, his family, his talent, his ability to learn something and succeed.

His body.

God. Sho was just so proud, so confident with his body and that makes the man freely removing his shirt in front of him and stay topless for the rest of the day in their green room.

As a guy, Nino knew he shouldn’t feel awkward about it. They’re both guys and seeing another guy topless supposed to be normal for them. Especially when they’re bandmates who has spent more than half of their life together. But then, Sho was different.

While it is annoying to admit, Sho has his right to be proud of everything he has. They were practically perfect. And that included the man’s abs. How couldn’t he be embarrassed to see Sho topless when the man literally was making him imagining a lot of things.

Would it be weird if he finds it such a turn on imagining how a woman would cry when Sho did her?

Yes. And that makes him blushed, just by thinking about it.

“Empty-minded I see,” Sho’s voice startled him.

“Excuse me?” he asked only to see Sho smirked at him.

“I asked you if you’re thinking that I’m hot that your face is now red and you had lost your game a few minutes ago?”

There, Sakurai Sho’s confidence that Nino has been hating all of this years. What he hate even more was realizing whatever Sho was saying earlier was true.
God, he hates his life.

“It’s not that I'm liking you-“

He paused, looking at the way Sho was judging him with his looks. God, he wanted to kill this guy. But Sho was being a tease. A second later, he was on top of Nino, his hand on the sofa headrest, his smug face a few inch away from Nino.

“Don’t you like me?” Sho asked, smug was seen on his face.

“Naaahhh-“

“You shouldn’t deny it, Nino. I can totally see you’re drooling over this,” Sho said, taking Nino's hand onto his abs, patting them a few times. Nino laughed, pushing the man away.

“Hear me, Sho,” Nino said, putting all his things inside his bag. “Abs or muscles, I’m not fond of them,”

Sho chuckled. “Then?”

Nino threw him a smirk. “I will be delighted having a hamburger than your abs. Hamburger makes me full, while your abs... not something to be eaten,”

Silence.

Awkward silence.

Before he could move out from his seat, Sho was back to his earlier position, this time, no spaces left between them.

He leaned in, whisper seductively to Nino’s ears. “They can be eaten, you know,” he said, chuckling when he saw the frown on Nino’s face.

If he could turn back time, Nino wished he wouldn’t say anything as a response.

Because, a few moments after he replied “Prove it,” to Sho, he was then enjoying Sho’s moan as he skillfully humping the man on the exact sofa he had sat a moment ago.

Title : “I won’t”
Pairing : Sho x OC (657 words)
Genre : Light Angst, Romance, AU
Rating : PG-15

“Don’t you like me?” he asked, with that seductive low and dangerous voice, their lips almost touched when he spoke, making her to shiver, anticipate what his reaction will be she answered no.

She has been eyeing this guy for years, hoping for him to at least look at her, acknowledging her presence around him. But until last year, Sho made it clear enough to her that to him, she was just a friend, a sister that he wanted to protect with all he might. The words crushed her heart, before she decided to leave, away from the guy for some times just to heal her broken heart.

But that was last year; when Sho wasn’t aware of his own feeling. When she left, he felt empty. He tried to reach her but of course, she had left everything behind when she decided to leave. And ever since the day he realized, Sho tried to find a way to find her, to reach her, to tell her that he had made a mistake. and it all went negative as a result.

Until he met her again last week, in this City of Love they called.

“You left, bringing half of my heart-“

“No, Sakurai. I don’t bring your heart together with me,” She said, smirking victoriously when she saw the man taken aback by her words. “Instead, you broke mine,”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Sho protested, closing their distance even more. But she decided to play a little bit more.

“Yeah. But you told me that I was just a sister to you,”

She said, pushing him soft. “A brother, shouldn’t fall in love with his sister. Not this way, right?”

Sho fell silent. For a moment, he kept staring at this girl, hoping it would deliver how desperate he wanted her in his life. Sure, he was blinded before. But a year passed with him living in misery, thinking about his mistake. Now that he got a chance to fix it, yet he didn’t know how.

He never wanted to lose her. His confession last time was because he was an idiot. An idiot who failed to see that he had someone who loved him with her whole heart. A coward who was afraid to give her a chance to prove it. He knows he has his chance now, but how?

Slowly, she pushed him away, wanting to move away from her current spot. Not because she hates him, god, she still loves him. But Sakurai shouldn’t get her easily.

Except, before she could even think on her next plan, Sho’s hand grabbed hers, pulling her back to her exact spot, pinning her to the wall. This time, no words needed. He leaned in, kissed her desperately on her lips, hoping for her to realized how desperate he wanted her.

He wanted to love her, to let her know that he wanted to redeem what he had done before, to tell her that he won’t waste her if he ever get a chance.

And when the kiss broke, he didn’t move away. Their body was closed enough for him to feel her warmth, her breath on his face and he knew this is the perfect time to ask her again.

“Don’t you like me?” he asked, this time, without hesitation, brushing his lips against hers. “Don’t you want me? Years of waiting, won’t you give a chance?”

God, she screamed inside his head. Who will be able to resist such a fine guy. She’s been in love with this guy for years. Even though she tried to forget, all she could think every single day was this Sakurai Sho.

Sakurai Sho was driving him mad and he still is.

“You’re a jerk, you know?” she said, wrapping her hand along his nape. “Break me again, I will-“

He stopped her by kissing her again.

“I won’t,” he said. His lips formed a smile when he saw the pink shades on her cheeks.

________________________________________________________________________________________

a/n : I will be writing 2 pairing for each prompt. Next one will be on Nino. While I really want to write Ohmiya, I would like to try another pairing as well. So… will you guys vote for the next entry? *wink*

[Poll #2064970][Poll #2064970]

Poll close 3 days from now. =)

Hello, it's me.

ok. this is not an Adele song. I just need an intro. lol

well, i'm still alive.

really want to write fic now, but i'm just afraid. i mean, i just afraid that i will not be able to finish the fic. that's a huge disappointment.

i have a few fics in my draft, hopefully to finish them before october this year as ... well, i don't want to write anymore fic after that. lol.

hopefully. ganbarimasu.

Unwanted (5/5) || ica_90 || beta by: yaoilicious_53 ||Ohmiya || Drama, Angst, Probably fluff ending || PG for this chapter

10 years later...

It has been a routine, for him to wait in the living room, looking at his watch, again and again, realizing how late he is.

And then...

“Nino! Where is my shirt?!” He hears Ohno’s voice from their bedroom

“In the closet,”

“My belt?”

“In the drawer. For god’s sake, can’t you search for it properly?”

“Why do you have to put it in there? I took it out yesterday so that it will be easier for me this morning!”

“You put it on the bed, you old man! You’re still going to ask me for a reason?” He yells from the living room.

Silence.

It has been 10 years since they got married. No, he didn’t move in with Ohno, taking how risky it would be for them to leave together. Yet, they take turns to sleep overnight in each other’s places. Not every day but last night, was Ohno’s.

It is a bless. Except for the part where he has to organize almost everything and Ohno acts like a spoiled brat whenever they’re together. What happens every day is an example.

He almost falls into a deep thought when Ohno yells again from their bedroom.

“Where're my socks?”

They’re definitely an old married couple.

“Nino, where’s my-“ Ohno doesn’t manage to finish his question when he walks to the living room and Nino hands him the socks he had took earlier.

“Sometimes, I regret marrying you-“

“What?”

“You treat me like a housewife! I am not,” Nino says, pouting.

“Of course you’re not. You’re my househusband,” Ohno teases his man, earning him a hard punch on his arms.

He doesn’t mind the fact that they’re late. The routines might annoy Nino the most, but for him, that is a way for him to steal a kiss on the man’s pouting lips. Hearing Nino whine every day, well, maybe he had signed up for it when he decided to marry Nino. But that’s what makes him special.

It’s a prove that the man cares for him.

“We’re late, old man,” Nino says, his voice sounds breathy as Ohno closes the distance.

“They can wait,” Ohno says. A peck of a kiss on Nino’s lips. “This can’t,”

With that, Ohno pulls him for a deeper kiss. His hand in Nino’s hair, deepening their kiss as Nino sees a flashback,

“I'm sorry, I can't,”

Hearing those words from Nino's lips, Ohno felt like dying. His world felt dark and all he could wish was for him to have a super power so he could turn back time, and to not make the mistake again.

Watching Nino remove the ring from his finger, Ohno knew he was losing Nino. There wasn't a sign of sadness nor regret showing on Nino's face, making Ohno so sure that the man was determined to not keep this marriage. When Nino thrust the ring into his palm, Ohno knew he should accept his defeat.

But he couldn't.

“Nino-,” Ohno spoke, his voice shaking at the point of breaking. “I made a mistake. I was so scared to accept your feelings. I thought by making you hate me, it would be easier for us. I thought if you hated me, I would not feel guilty for hurting you. But I was wrong. I want you. I need you. You're my courage, my reason to keep on living. Please. I beg you. I-“

He was speaking non-stop, not even a break to take a breath. He was desperate, wanting Nino to know how much he wanted, needed the man.

His tears were on the verge of breaking when he saw Nino smile.

“Cheesy old man. I might get diabetes if I hear those words from you every day,”

Ohno was confused. Nino said...

“You didn’t wait for me to finish my words, Oh-chan,”

“You said-“

“I said I can’t. I can’t do this alone, Oh-chan. You need to make this work too,” Nino clarified, chuckling when he saw Ohno’s dumbfounded face. But after a while, his eyes widened, finally understanding what Nino was trying to say.

“You accept this?” He asked. He couldn’t help forming a happy smile when Nino nodded.

“On one condition, though,” Ohno looked at him. “It will stay as secret,”

“Will you move in with me?”

“When things are fine, I will,”

That is enough for Ohno.

Until he realized that he was still holding the ring in his hand.

“Why did you take off the ring, then?”

Nino punched him hard on his arm.

“What an unfair jerk! You put on the ring while I was drunk. I don't even have the slightest memory of marrying you. I want you to put it on back while I am sober,” Nino explained, laughing when he heard Ohno grumbling, slightly annoyed by the man’s teasing.

What a brat, Ohno thought, wondering if he could really survive the marriage. But he loved Nino. So madly in love with the man. That should be enough, right?

But before Ohno could put on the ring back into Nino's finger, the man stopped him. The smile he had earlier faded, replaced by a deep frown on his forehead.

“Are you sure you won't regret it, Oh-chan?”

Ohno shook his head. The ring was quarterly on Nino's finger.

“I don't have boobs,”

“I don’t need them,” Ohno replied, slowly pushing in the ring again.

“I don't like children,”

“Then we don't need to have one,”

“but your mom wants grandchildren,”

“She has my sister. She can give her one. And if one day we change our mind to have one, we can adopt one or find a surrogate,”

“My parents-“

Quickly, Ohno cut him.

“I'll prove it to you that we won't be like them. We'll work this out,”

Before Nino realized it, the ring was once again on his finger, perfectly placed. His heart skipped a beat, all of sudden, a feel of happiness and comfort appeared, replacing all the insecurities he had in him at once.

But...

“Idiot! I didn’t get into the moment again!” he said, pushing Ohno who was kneeling in front of him, making the man fall and land on his butt. He pouted hearing Ohno whining painfully but quickly, the pout turned into a smile when Ohno went back to his first position.

“I’ll put on the ring on your finger again and again from now on, Nino. If that what will make you stay,” Ohno said. Happiness was obviously shown in his eyes. If days ago, he was crying regretting of his past, his cry now was for the future, for all he could see was happiness and blissful life with this guy name Ninomiya Kazunari

To Nino, Ohno who was in front of him now was the most handsome guy he has ever met. Past hurt him, but he was willing to let it go.

When Ohno pulled him for a kiss, Nino was sure he would find his happiness with this guy, just like Jun had assured him.

When their kiss broke, Ohno was sure he was the luckiest man alive for marrying Nino.

They would make it work.

----------------------------------------- END-----------------------------------------

A/N : Happy Belated Ohmiya Anniversary to the two idiots who were the source of my (and our) happiness.
Happy New Year to Everyone :)

Unwanted (4/5) || ica_90 || beta by: yaoilicious_53 ||Ohmiya || Drama, Angst, Probably fluff ending || NC-17 just to be safe

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____________________________________________________________________
last chapter on it way. I'll finish this in this year as this is originally written for Ohmiya Anniversary on 28th December. please comeback to read it again before midnight. :)

Unwanted (3/5) || ica_90 || Beta by:

yaoilicious_53 ||Ohmiya || Drama, Angst, Probably fluff ending || NC-17 just to be safe

Three

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A/N : Sorry, can't help it. Matsumiya is closes to me in my heart XD and sorry for the additional chapter. Last chapter on 30th? maybe

Unwanted (2/4) || ica_90 || Ohmiya || Drama, Angst, Probably fluff ending || NC-17 just to be safe

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A/n: I’m not sure what is Julie Kitagawa’s position in the company. Again, this is a fiction and I made up this whole thing for nothing *grins*

Title: Unwanted (1/4)
Author: ica_90
Pairing: Ohmiya, if you squint, you’ll see some other pairing in the next chapters
Genre: Drama, Angst, Probably fluff ending. Probably I said.
Rating: NC-17 just to be safe
Summary: Waking up with a massive headache due to the hungover of the previous night, and a half-naked Ohno next to him and a ring on his finger, Nino knows he is in trouble. Especially when Ohno told him later that they were married.
A/N: This fic is in a universe where gay marriage is acceptable and a norm in Japan but not idol marriage. Please bear in mind that I’m extremely emotionless in real life and I can’t feel anything while writing so, sorry for the lack of emotions. And if this goes according to plan, the final chapter will be on 28th December 2016 (Ohmiya Anniversary yay!)

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::Introduction::

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[Ongoing] Losing Him - Epilogue [Ohmiya]

[Ongoing] Losing Him - Chapter 8 [Ohmiya]

[Ongoing] Losing Him - Chapter 7 [Ohmiya]

[Ongoing] Losing Him - Chapter 6 [Ohmiya]

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[Ongoing] Losing Him - Chapter 4 [Ohmiya]

[Ongoing] Losing Him - Chapter 3 [Ohmiya]

[Ongoing] Losing Him - Chapter 2 [Ohmiya]

[Ongoing] Losing Him - Chapter 1 [Ohmiya]

[Ongoing] Losing Him - Prologue [Ohmiya]

[Drabble] Words/Action That Will Make Your Partner Goes... Series - Multiple Pairing

Hello from the other sideeeeeeeeeeeee

[Ongoing] Unwanted (5/5) - Ohmiya

[Ongoing] Unwanted (4/5) - Ohmiya

[ongoing] Unwanted 3/5 - Ohmiya

[Ongoing] Unwanted (2/4) - Ohmiya

[Ongoing] Unwanted (1/4) - Ohmiya

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November 2017

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