[Oneshot] Maybe a Goodbye - Ohmiya
Oct. 5th, 2014 01:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ica_90Title: Maybe a Goodbye
Author: ica_90
Pairing : Ohmiya
Genre: R
Rating: Angst, Smut, (Possible Rape content)
Summary: he was hurt. he wanted to move on, but he can’t. A goodbye sounds better, but not without a punishment.
Beta by: shardaunei <3 thanks a lot
A/N: see end notes for some rants.
Ohno has stop counting the days since the time he was kept this way-sprawled and handcuffed to the headboard of a familiar bed. God, he used to share the bed with someone he loved, someone he took for granted.
It had been a month ago when he had decided to end their relationship with just a short text message. That was the day the man changed, Ohno was sure. His ex-lover was no longer as cheerful as before. He was also quieter than usual, but Ohno thought it was normal. The man usually mind his own business. But Ohno should have guessed that indeed Nino was not okay when he never talked about the break up.
That one day, when he went out with Jun, Ohno ended up kissing youngest and Nino accidentally saw them. Ohno couldn’t describe Nino’s expression. It was mixed with anger, frustration, and sadness. Their eyes met in that alley, Ohno were sure they did, but Nino had walked past them like they’re just the wall that has nothing special to be concern of. And Ohno and Nino never talk again about their relationship or the kiss the younger man had seen.
It had been two weeks after that coincidental meeting when one day, Nino came up to him, with a genuine smile on his face, inviting him for dinner. He remembered so well the conversation.
“Come on. It’s unusual that I wanted to treat you to dinner, right? Then you can take the ‘stingiest member of Arashi’ title for yourself,” was what he had said, trying to joke around. Ohno, while he thought it is so weird for Nino to invite people, agreed.
Indeed, there had been something unusual with that invitation. Nino promised to drive him to the restaurant, but they did not head there. Before Ohno could ask, he felt a prick on his neck, and he passed out to wake up in this awkward position.
That night, for the first time in his life, the sweet loving Nino he used to love is no longer one. He opened his eyes when Nino straddled him, not even a smirk on Nino’s lips. He had done it rough that night and Ohno remembered screaming by every thrust Nino did. As he closed his eyes, the scene from that night replayed.
“Stop, Kazu,” he pleaded, but Nino seemed to be deaf. Instead, he thrust harder than before, fastening his pace making Ohno groaned in pain by the action.
“Why, Satoshi? Why do you have to break up with me?” he asked with tears flowing from his eyes and landing on Ohno’s cheek. He forced Ohno to face him. “Open your eyes, Satoshi. Don’t you love to see my face as I fuck you? You said you love me fucking you hard before. Why can’t you say it now?“
Ohno could feel his own tears flowing the side of his temple. It is painful physically and emotionally. Physically by the rough sex and emotionally by the thought that he was the reason Nino changed. It hurt him when he could only feel the hurt and frustration in every thrust Nino gave him, hitting his spot again and again. The lovely Nino he knew before was no longer there. It was replaced with an aggressive one, and he hates himself so much for the change he caused on the man.
“Why? Is it because Jun gave you more than what I gave?” he thrust the man hard, pulling back slowly before thrust again, repeating it again and again, making the man below him whimper by every thrust he received. “is it because my love for you is not enough or because i can’t satisfy your lust? LOOK AT ME!” Nino slapped Ohno’s face, forcing him to look at him again.
He took Ohno’s left leg, resting it on his shoulder, and started thrusting again, this time deeper, hitting the spot that he knew well will make the man whimper with lust, weakening him to surrender. With his body pinning Ohno to the bed, one hand holding Ohno’s face to look at him, he took Ohno’s length in his hand, stroking it with almost the same violently pace.
“Look at me, Oh-chan. I want you to moan my name when you come. I want you to remember you’re mine. Only mine. No one else can own you other than me!” Nino could feel the man’s body tensed by the pleasure. He smirked, satisfied when Ohno’s body arched, moaned his name, or begging him to stop every time he hit the spot again and again, knowing that any moment soon, he will come.
With one hard thrust, Ohno’s body arched upward as he came into Nino’s hand almost at the same time Nino released his cum into Ohno’s hole.
But Nino wasn’t satisfied. He observed Ohno’s reaction with his member still in Ohno’s ass. The man started to fall asleep, so he gave him a hard slap on his face and kissed him roughly to keep him awake. He just wanted the man to hurt like he did when Ohno decided to break up with him
“Why don’t you beg me for another round like always, Oh-chan?” he started to move in and out of the man slowly, chuckling when he heard a soft “please stop,” from the man under him. “You’re satisfied with just one?” Ohno shook his head. Nino was unsure if his answer was either he was not satisfied or because he wanted for it to end.
“Please... Kazu. Let’s talk about it,” he pleaded, tears flowing from the corner of his eyes. Nino smirks, licking the tears from the man’s face, before going to his neck, sucking it hard leaving a mark there.
“Talk about what?” Nino replied coldly. He fastens his pace in and out the man’s hole, ignoring the hurt grunt. “You’re going to say how Jun already satisfied you; that you don’t need me?” Nino pulled out all of sudden, making Ohno whimper. He was about to curse but stopped when he saw the trail of tears on Nino’s cheek.
“i still need you, Oh-chan...” the man said with a sob. “Why did you leave me?”
It was a repetitive question, but Ohno still didn’t have the answer. When Nino was sure that he won’t get any more answer from him, he entered Ohno with one hard thrust, fuck him again restlessly that night.
He lost count of how many times Nino did him that night, but he remembered feeling sore the next day.
It didn’t stop with just that first night. And it always ends with Nino’s tears on his cheeks. The man suffered so much by the sudden break up that it makes Ohno feel guilty. But he couldn’t live in lies by telling Nino he loved him when he does not. He thought a break up will do them good, but his stupid act ruined Nino’s life so much.
The sex after that night was just sex. Nino refused to speak to him anymore. He comes into the room, stares at his naked body, fucks him rough and then leaves him alone without a word. He comes during daytime with some food, feeds him silently, not responding to anything when Ohno tries to begin a conversation. Only an empty stare that throbs Ohno’s heart. Nino has become so fragile that Ohno didn’t know if the man really is alive.
What hurts him the most now wasn’t the sex. It was when Nino still cared for him, in spite of what he had done. It was three days ago, when Nino stopped visiting him at night. He knows Nino is still in the house because he could hear him outside the room. Nino’s routine in the mornings is still the same though. It makes him wonder what was in the man’s mind.
Two weeks in the room makes Ohno think a lot about him and Nino. He made a mistake once. He hurt the man so much that it ruined the two of them and maybe the other members as well. He wanted to talk with Nino again, to make everything clear between them or maybe just asking for another chance. He thought maybe it is better to give their relationship a chance again, to make it right. If a few months ago had his mind occupied with his love towards Jun, it is now occupied of making things right again between him and Nino.
But nothing could be done when Nino doesn’t talk to him, not even visiting him at night. Before, Nino presence was just a nuisance for him, but now he was longing for Nino’s touch and silent presence. He just wants to see Nino now to beg for his forgiveness.
His wish is granted, when he hears the sounds of the door opening and Nino standing there with his cold stare, just like the first night he was brought here. Ohno shivered.
“Kazu,” he called the man’s name soft, and for the first time since that first night he was brought here, he saw Nino smirked like usual.
“What will Jun think if he hears you calling me with that name, Oh-chan?” he closed the door behind him, before walking towards the bed. He pulled away the blanket, revealing Ohno’s naked body before he took a seat next to him.
“The other members are worried, you know. They start asking if I know your whereabouts. Of course I said no. But they need an answer. And I guess I should give them one soon.”
“i don’t care about them,” Ohno replied, trying to hide his nervousness from Nino words earlier. It sounded like a threat, but Ohno tried to push the thought away. However, Nino smirking didn’t help at all.
“You don’t care about them... but you care about Jun right? The love between the two of you just sparks beautifully, of course you care about him.”
Nino’s smile faded. Slowly, he traced his fingers from the man’s ankle up to his thigh, chuckling a bit when Ohno moan as he trace his finger to the man’s member, playing with his ball which made Ohno to moan even more. He licked his lips as his fingers travel up to the man’s torso before going up to his neck. He lowered his head, his lips met Ohno’s and he kissed him tenderly. He didn’t wait long before he departed from the kiss, standing up to remove his pants.
He walked acrossed the room towards the cupboard, taking a tube of lube in the drawer before going back to the man, stopping halfway to let the man ogled him before he reached the bed
“Watch me,” he said with a smirk as he uncapped the tube, pressing the lube in his hand before continue again. “i was wondering, Oh-chan. What made you choose him?”
Ohno watched as Nino wiped the lube on his ass. His eyes widen, mouth hanging open, unable to believe what he see.
“i mean, we both know Jun is a DoS. And part of me is too. Why do you have to choose someone who has the same quality when you already secure one?” he said, inserting one of his fingers into his hole, preparing himself.
Nino made Ohno watch him move his finger in and out of his own hole. He whimpered painfully as it was his first time doing it. Just when he felt he had it loose enough, he inserted another finger, scissoring it in and out for the same purpose.
“Nino... please...stop,” Ohno pleaded when he heard the Nino whimpered again as he inserted another finger, making it to three. But Nino just smirked at his request.
“Why, Oh-chan? Isn’t this what you want?” Nino asked, panting a little by his own doing. Ohno shook his head.
“That’s not...”
“I came up with a conclusion, Oh-chan... ugh,” he gasped a little, before continuing again. “That maybe you hate being dominated by me.” Nino cut his word as remove his fingers, making his way closer towards the man on the bed. “Maybe because Jun allowed you to take control of him, hence I am no longer up to your standard?”
He took his seat next to Ohno, taking Ohno’s length in his hand, stroking it slowly, smearing the man’s cock with the lube. For once, it excited him when Ohno’s cock hardened as he stroked it. Ohno could see how Nino smirked as he saw precum started to leak from the tip of his cock. Nino kissed it, sucked it once, causing Ohno to moan of pleasure.
But then Nino stopped, making Ohno a little frustrated. But not for long. Nino positioned himself on top of Ohno, his hole entrance facing the fully erected member. Ohno struggled to move away but failed.
“Stop struggling, Oh-chan,” he lowered his body, trailing his kiss along the man’s jaw line to Ohno’s collarbone, and marking him there. “Make it easier you,”
“Kazu. Stop. You’re not used to this,” he said, but Nino looked at him with a mocking smile.
“i’m not used to breaking up with just a text message, too, Oh-chan.” Slowly he moved down, hissing painfully when the tip inserted his entrance. He pulled out, lubricating his hole again with the lube, before repositioning himself. “But you still broke up with me that way.”
“Let’s start over, Nino. I’ve been a jerk. I know. I’m sorry,” The man under him pleaded desperately, but he ignored him. Slowly, he repositioned himself on Ohno’s cock while staring directly into his ex-lover’s eyes.
“And break Jun’s heart? How many heart do you intend to hurt, Oh-chan?” With one push, Ohno’s full length was in his hole. Tears flowed from Nino’s eyes as he shut them, biting his lips as he bore the pain.
“Kazu. Stop. Don’t do this. I don’t want you to hurt.” Ohno tried to break free from the cuff. Again, the man chuckled.
“Hurt? Stop kidding! You already hurt me that night when you broke up with me with that fucking text message. Why bother about it now?”
The pain was shown on Nino’s face as he moved up and down, moving the length in and out of his hole. And Ohno couldn’t bear watching him. Nino was never used to it and he pitied the man even though at the same time, he couldn’t help being aroused by the pleasure. He couldn’t help moaning when Nino fastens his pace on his length. Nino threw him a look of disgusted.
“i was right, wasn’t I?” he says while still moving on the man’s cock. “You do want to dominate,”
“That’s not it, Kazu,”
“Then, why do you have to leave me?” The man stops moving. He lowered his body, meeting Ohno’s. For a moment, the two of them stared at each other with different feelings; Ohno with pity and guilt towards him and Nino with frustration.
Nino was hurt. For months before the break-up, he could tell that Ohno didn’t have any interest in continuing the relationship they built for almost a decade. It took him a lot of courage to confess to the man before Ohno agreed. It took him so many efforts to satisfy him, making sure that the impossible relationship between two men worked. He was ready for the moment when Ohno would break up with him, but it hurt a lot that Ohno just sent him a text message with a simple “we should break up. I’m sorry,” to end their 10-year relationship. And Ohno never talk about it again the next time they met.
He remembered how devastated he was, weeping silently alone in the house they shared for years, clenching the blanket as the pain in his heart was too much to bear. He hoped for Ohno to come back that night, hoping for at least a chance to have an explanation or beg for the man to stay or maybe to tell him that it was just a joke. But the man never came. Ohno’s things in the house make him felt suffocated, and Nino realized the man took his stuff away once he came back from his work two days later. Without any explanation.
It hurt him; the break up, the silent treatment, but not as much as the night he saw Ohno and Jun kissing in the alley. He was invisible. Ohno breaking up with him because he wanted to be with his bandmate. He was not even hiding it, even though Ohno has been asking him to keep their relationship a secret from the other members for the past 10 years. For a while, he kept watching, wonder why he kept hurting himself by doing that. He couldn’t help chuckling as he wonder if Ohno will eat Jun’s face by how hungry the man kissed the younger one. And when the chuckle stops, he realized how painful the whole fact is. When the two depart, Ohno looked at him with a feeling that Nino couldn’t describe. Not guilty for sure.
With the way Ohno looked at Jun that night, Nino knew it was the end. He wouldn’t have a chance and sure enough his heart was shattered too. Ignoring them, he walked away, trying to mend his broken heart.
But he couldn’t move on. He wanted to, he swore. But he couldn’t. With every single day watching how Ohno and Jun love grew, his hatred grew on the man too and that resulted to what happened now.
Ohno should be punished. A hard one for breaking him and taking him for granted. If he can’t have Ohno, no one should have him as well.
“Kazu...”Ohno called him softly as he saw the tears flowing from Nino’s eyes. “Kazu... i’m sorry for hurting you. For whatever I have done, ignoring you after breaking up with you, for you to see me with Jun that night, I’m really sorry, I didn’t meant for you to see me that night”
Nino scoffed. Sorry? The word sounds so fake to his ears even though Ohno really meant it. He pulled himself away a little, then back to working on Ohno’s length again. The man grunted, moving uncomfortably under him.
“Kazu...” Ohno called him again, trying to get Nino’s attention. The pain on Nino’s face didn’t fade but nothing he can do to make the man stop. With his hands cuffed to the bed, it limited his movement. He wanted to stop the man, take him into an embrace, and want to promise him a better relation for them if Nino ever gave him the chance. But he couldn’t do that. All he could do was moan Nino’s name and plead him to stop as the man fastened his pace.
But then Ohno noticed something else. The cold stare from Nino before was no longer there. Instead, it was replaced by sadness. Once again, the man lowered his body, catching his lips into a passionate kiss. Here, he found the Ninomiya that he used to know. The sweet, loving Ninomiya that he had taken for granted. And when Nino parted from the kiss, he begged him for more, but Nino just shook his head.
“Kazu... please,” he pleaded, trying to break free his hands from the cuffs, but Nino didn’t say anything, only a sob left his mouth.. He shook his head, not wanting to hear anything from Ohno anymore as he continued moving his hips. He needed to end this fast. He was tired, physically and emotionally. Rather than giving him satisfaction, this revenge he wanted to give hurt him instead.
“It’s ok, Oh-chan,” he caressed the man’s cheek lightly. “If it’s goodbye that you want from me, then I will give you one,” Nino said, wiping his tears from his cheek. His other hand on the man’s chest, supporting him as he moved his hips as fast as he could.
Ohno shut his eyes, unable to control himself from enjoying the pleasure. He moaned again and again, at the same time begging for the man to stop. He didn’t want it to end, but with Nino violently moving his length in and out from his hole, Ohno knew, he would come soon.
With one hard push, Nino arched his body, spurting all his seed to the man’s stomach, and Ohno’s body shudder as he released his seed into the man, before passing out from exhaustion.
***
Ohno woke up the next morning to realize that his hands were released from the cuffs. He was still naked though, but a blanket covered his body. He noticed the empty spot next to him and all of a sudden, it felt heavy in his chest.
Nino’s crying face last night appeared in his head. Once again, guilt surrounded him. Slowly, he moved out from the bed, groaning a little as his lower parts felt sore from the rough sex the night before. But he cared less. He needed to find Nino as the man’s words last night played in his mind.
No. He didn’t want a goodbye anymore. All he wanted now was to see the man, asking him for forgiveness that he had been wanting to ask since before but never had a chance. He wanted to have another chance with Nino and he promised himself that he’d treasure him forever, just the way Nino loved him.
Slowly, he pulled the door open, his eyes roaming around the living room and finding Nino sleeping on the couch. He limped towards the man, crouching down to face him. He caressed the man’s cheek, sweeping the bangs from Nino’s forehead to get a good look at the man’s face before dropping a kiss on his forehead.
“i’m sorry, Kazu,” he said, caressing his cheek. But Nino didn’t even stir from the touch, making Ohno chuckle of how soundly the man slept. “i won’t bid you goodbye, Kazu. Give me another chance for me to make everything right for us again.” He leaned in, kissing the sleeping guy.
But Nino didn’t give a response. Only then Ohno noticed how cold the man was.
“Kazu...” He shook the man to wake him, panicking when he received no sign that the man would. Nino’s hand fell to his side, his heartbeat weak as Ohno checks it. Almost none. As if lifeless. The thought scares him so much. He noticed a note on the table next to him. Next to the note was a half emptied bottle of sleeping pills. His hand trembled as he reached for the note, unfolded it, and cried as he read the content.
“I feel that my life has ceased to have a meaning, Oh-chan. I thought it’s better to kill you, but if you die, then there’s no reason for me to live, too. So I decided, it is better for me to bid you goodbye. Take care of Jun. I love you. -Ninomiya Kazunari,”
___________________________________________________________________
notes: to be honest, i don't have any confident at all with this fic. my beta has done a great job. she helped me twice.i never send my fic for beta twice. lol. thanks miss shadz. but seriously, NC-17 and R is not my specialty. i love to read, but NG to write. so it might appear weird for the readers. i'm sorry about that. the angst in this one is not well conveyed i think. again i'm sorry for that too. but this idea has been lingering in my head for quite a time, and it's disturbing me until i wrote it. but i kept it for 2 weeks after the finished product. that's just show how i have no confident at all about this. sorry if this doesn't satisfy you. thank you for reading
Author: ica_90
Pairing : Ohmiya
Genre: R
Rating: Angst, Smut, (Possible Rape content)
Summary: he was hurt. he wanted to move on, but he can’t. A goodbye sounds better, but not without a punishment.
Beta by: shardaunei <3 thanks a lot
A/N: see end notes for some rants.
Ohno has stop counting the days since the time he was kept this way-sprawled and handcuffed to the headboard of a familiar bed. God, he used to share the bed with someone he loved, someone he took for granted.
It had been a month ago when he had decided to end their relationship with just a short text message. That was the day the man changed, Ohno was sure. His ex-lover was no longer as cheerful as before. He was also quieter than usual, but Ohno thought it was normal. The man usually mind his own business. But Ohno should have guessed that indeed Nino was not okay when he never talked about the break up.
That one day, when he went out with Jun, Ohno ended up kissing youngest and Nino accidentally saw them. Ohno couldn’t describe Nino’s expression. It was mixed with anger, frustration, and sadness. Their eyes met in that alley, Ohno were sure they did, but Nino had walked past them like they’re just the wall that has nothing special to be concern of. And Ohno and Nino never talk again about their relationship or the kiss the younger man had seen.
It had been two weeks after that coincidental meeting when one day, Nino came up to him, with a genuine smile on his face, inviting him for dinner. He remembered so well the conversation.
“Come on. It’s unusual that I wanted to treat you to dinner, right? Then you can take the ‘stingiest member of Arashi’ title for yourself,” was what he had said, trying to joke around. Ohno, while he thought it is so weird for Nino to invite people, agreed.
Indeed, there had been something unusual with that invitation. Nino promised to drive him to the restaurant, but they did not head there. Before Ohno could ask, he felt a prick on his neck, and he passed out to wake up in this awkward position.
That night, for the first time in his life, the sweet loving Nino he used to love is no longer one. He opened his eyes when Nino straddled him, not even a smirk on Nino’s lips. He had done it rough that night and Ohno remembered screaming by every thrust Nino did. As he closed his eyes, the scene from that night replayed.
“Stop, Kazu,” he pleaded, but Nino seemed to be deaf. Instead, he thrust harder than before, fastening his pace making Ohno groaned in pain by the action.
“Why, Satoshi? Why do you have to break up with me?” he asked with tears flowing from his eyes and landing on Ohno’s cheek. He forced Ohno to face him. “Open your eyes, Satoshi. Don’t you love to see my face as I fuck you? You said you love me fucking you hard before. Why can’t you say it now?“
Ohno could feel his own tears flowing the side of his temple. It is painful physically and emotionally. Physically by the rough sex and emotionally by the thought that he was the reason Nino changed. It hurt him when he could only feel the hurt and frustration in every thrust Nino gave him, hitting his spot again and again. The lovely Nino he knew before was no longer there. It was replaced with an aggressive one, and he hates himself so much for the change he caused on the man.
“Why? Is it because Jun gave you more than what I gave?” he thrust the man hard, pulling back slowly before thrust again, repeating it again and again, making the man below him whimper by every thrust he received. “is it because my love for you is not enough or because i can’t satisfy your lust? LOOK AT ME!” Nino slapped Ohno’s face, forcing him to look at him again.
He took Ohno’s left leg, resting it on his shoulder, and started thrusting again, this time deeper, hitting the spot that he knew well will make the man whimper with lust, weakening him to surrender. With his body pinning Ohno to the bed, one hand holding Ohno’s face to look at him, he took Ohno’s length in his hand, stroking it with almost the same violently pace.
“Look at me, Oh-chan. I want you to moan my name when you come. I want you to remember you’re mine. Only mine. No one else can own you other than me!” Nino could feel the man’s body tensed by the pleasure. He smirked, satisfied when Ohno’s body arched, moaned his name, or begging him to stop every time he hit the spot again and again, knowing that any moment soon, he will come.
With one hard thrust, Ohno’s body arched upward as he came into Nino’s hand almost at the same time Nino released his cum into Ohno’s hole.
But Nino wasn’t satisfied. He observed Ohno’s reaction with his member still in Ohno’s ass. The man started to fall asleep, so he gave him a hard slap on his face and kissed him roughly to keep him awake. He just wanted the man to hurt like he did when Ohno decided to break up with him
“Why don’t you beg me for another round like always, Oh-chan?” he started to move in and out of the man slowly, chuckling when he heard a soft “please stop,” from the man under him. “You’re satisfied with just one?” Ohno shook his head. Nino was unsure if his answer was either he was not satisfied or because he wanted for it to end.
“Please... Kazu. Let’s talk about it,” he pleaded, tears flowing from the corner of his eyes. Nino smirks, licking the tears from the man’s face, before going to his neck, sucking it hard leaving a mark there.
“Talk about what?” Nino replied coldly. He fastens his pace in and out the man’s hole, ignoring the hurt grunt. “You’re going to say how Jun already satisfied you; that you don’t need me?” Nino pulled out all of sudden, making Ohno whimper. He was about to curse but stopped when he saw the trail of tears on Nino’s cheek.
“i still need you, Oh-chan...” the man said with a sob. “Why did you leave me?”
It was a repetitive question, but Ohno still didn’t have the answer. When Nino was sure that he won’t get any more answer from him, he entered Ohno with one hard thrust, fuck him again restlessly that night.
He lost count of how many times Nino did him that night, but he remembered feeling sore the next day.
It didn’t stop with just that first night. And it always ends with Nino’s tears on his cheeks. The man suffered so much by the sudden break up that it makes Ohno feel guilty. But he couldn’t live in lies by telling Nino he loved him when he does not. He thought a break up will do them good, but his stupid act ruined Nino’s life so much.
The sex after that night was just sex. Nino refused to speak to him anymore. He comes into the room, stares at his naked body, fucks him rough and then leaves him alone without a word. He comes during daytime with some food, feeds him silently, not responding to anything when Ohno tries to begin a conversation. Only an empty stare that throbs Ohno’s heart. Nino has become so fragile that Ohno didn’t know if the man really is alive.
What hurts him the most now wasn’t the sex. It was when Nino still cared for him, in spite of what he had done. It was three days ago, when Nino stopped visiting him at night. He knows Nino is still in the house because he could hear him outside the room. Nino’s routine in the mornings is still the same though. It makes him wonder what was in the man’s mind.
Two weeks in the room makes Ohno think a lot about him and Nino. He made a mistake once. He hurt the man so much that it ruined the two of them and maybe the other members as well. He wanted to talk with Nino again, to make everything clear between them or maybe just asking for another chance. He thought maybe it is better to give their relationship a chance again, to make it right. If a few months ago had his mind occupied with his love towards Jun, it is now occupied of making things right again between him and Nino.
But nothing could be done when Nino doesn’t talk to him, not even visiting him at night. Before, Nino presence was just a nuisance for him, but now he was longing for Nino’s touch and silent presence. He just wants to see Nino now to beg for his forgiveness.
His wish is granted, when he hears the sounds of the door opening and Nino standing there with his cold stare, just like the first night he was brought here. Ohno shivered.
“Kazu,” he called the man’s name soft, and for the first time since that first night he was brought here, he saw Nino smirked like usual.
“What will Jun think if he hears you calling me with that name, Oh-chan?” he closed the door behind him, before walking towards the bed. He pulled away the blanket, revealing Ohno’s naked body before he took a seat next to him.
“The other members are worried, you know. They start asking if I know your whereabouts. Of course I said no. But they need an answer. And I guess I should give them one soon.”
“i don’t care about them,” Ohno replied, trying to hide his nervousness from Nino words earlier. It sounded like a threat, but Ohno tried to push the thought away. However, Nino smirking didn’t help at all.
“You don’t care about them... but you care about Jun right? The love between the two of you just sparks beautifully, of course you care about him.”
Nino’s smile faded. Slowly, he traced his fingers from the man’s ankle up to his thigh, chuckling a bit when Ohno moan as he trace his finger to the man’s member, playing with his ball which made Ohno to moan even more. He licked his lips as his fingers travel up to the man’s torso before going up to his neck. He lowered his head, his lips met Ohno’s and he kissed him tenderly. He didn’t wait long before he departed from the kiss, standing up to remove his pants.
He walked acrossed the room towards the cupboard, taking a tube of lube in the drawer before going back to the man, stopping halfway to let the man ogled him before he reached the bed
“Watch me,” he said with a smirk as he uncapped the tube, pressing the lube in his hand before continue again. “i was wondering, Oh-chan. What made you choose him?”
Ohno watched as Nino wiped the lube on his ass. His eyes widen, mouth hanging open, unable to believe what he see.
“i mean, we both know Jun is a DoS. And part of me is too. Why do you have to choose someone who has the same quality when you already secure one?” he said, inserting one of his fingers into his hole, preparing himself.
Nino made Ohno watch him move his finger in and out of his own hole. He whimpered painfully as it was his first time doing it. Just when he felt he had it loose enough, he inserted another finger, scissoring it in and out for the same purpose.
“Nino... please...stop,” Ohno pleaded when he heard the Nino whimpered again as he inserted another finger, making it to three. But Nino just smirked at his request.
“Why, Oh-chan? Isn’t this what you want?” Nino asked, panting a little by his own doing. Ohno shook his head.
“That’s not...”
“I came up with a conclusion, Oh-chan... ugh,” he gasped a little, before continuing again. “That maybe you hate being dominated by me.” Nino cut his word as remove his fingers, making his way closer towards the man on the bed. “Maybe because Jun allowed you to take control of him, hence I am no longer up to your standard?”
He took his seat next to Ohno, taking Ohno’s length in his hand, stroking it slowly, smearing the man’s cock with the lube. For once, it excited him when Ohno’s cock hardened as he stroked it. Ohno could see how Nino smirked as he saw precum started to leak from the tip of his cock. Nino kissed it, sucked it once, causing Ohno to moan of pleasure.
But then Nino stopped, making Ohno a little frustrated. But not for long. Nino positioned himself on top of Ohno, his hole entrance facing the fully erected member. Ohno struggled to move away but failed.
“Stop struggling, Oh-chan,” he lowered his body, trailing his kiss along the man’s jaw line to Ohno’s collarbone, and marking him there. “Make it easier you,”
“Kazu. Stop. You’re not used to this,” he said, but Nino looked at him with a mocking smile.
“i’m not used to breaking up with just a text message, too, Oh-chan.” Slowly he moved down, hissing painfully when the tip inserted his entrance. He pulled out, lubricating his hole again with the lube, before repositioning himself. “But you still broke up with me that way.”
“Let’s start over, Nino. I’ve been a jerk. I know. I’m sorry,” The man under him pleaded desperately, but he ignored him. Slowly, he repositioned himself on Ohno’s cock while staring directly into his ex-lover’s eyes.
“And break Jun’s heart? How many heart do you intend to hurt, Oh-chan?” With one push, Ohno’s full length was in his hole. Tears flowed from Nino’s eyes as he shut them, biting his lips as he bore the pain.
“Kazu. Stop. Don’t do this. I don’t want you to hurt.” Ohno tried to break free from the cuff. Again, the man chuckled.
“Hurt? Stop kidding! You already hurt me that night when you broke up with me with that fucking text message. Why bother about it now?”
The pain was shown on Nino’s face as he moved up and down, moving the length in and out of his hole. And Ohno couldn’t bear watching him. Nino was never used to it and he pitied the man even though at the same time, he couldn’t help being aroused by the pleasure. He couldn’t help moaning when Nino fastens his pace on his length. Nino threw him a look of disgusted.
“i was right, wasn’t I?” he says while still moving on the man’s cock. “You do want to dominate,”
“That’s not it, Kazu,”
“Then, why do you have to leave me?” The man stops moving. He lowered his body, meeting Ohno’s. For a moment, the two of them stared at each other with different feelings; Ohno with pity and guilt towards him and Nino with frustration.
Nino was hurt. For months before the break-up, he could tell that Ohno didn’t have any interest in continuing the relationship they built for almost a decade. It took him a lot of courage to confess to the man before Ohno agreed. It took him so many efforts to satisfy him, making sure that the impossible relationship between two men worked. He was ready for the moment when Ohno would break up with him, but it hurt a lot that Ohno just sent him a text message with a simple “we should break up. I’m sorry,” to end their 10-year relationship. And Ohno never talk about it again the next time they met.
He remembered how devastated he was, weeping silently alone in the house they shared for years, clenching the blanket as the pain in his heart was too much to bear. He hoped for Ohno to come back that night, hoping for at least a chance to have an explanation or beg for the man to stay or maybe to tell him that it was just a joke. But the man never came. Ohno’s things in the house make him felt suffocated, and Nino realized the man took his stuff away once he came back from his work two days later. Without any explanation.
It hurt him; the break up, the silent treatment, but not as much as the night he saw Ohno and Jun kissing in the alley. He was invisible. Ohno breaking up with him because he wanted to be with his bandmate. He was not even hiding it, even though Ohno has been asking him to keep their relationship a secret from the other members for the past 10 years. For a while, he kept watching, wonder why he kept hurting himself by doing that. He couldn’t help chuckling as he wonder if Ohno will eat Jun’s face by how hungry the man kissed the younger one. And when the chuckle stops, he realized how painful the whole fact is. When the two depart, Ohno looked at him with a feeling that Nino couldn’t describe. Not guilty for sure.
With the way Ohno looked at Jun that night, Nino knew it was the end. He wouldn’t have a chance and sure enough his heart was shattered too. Ignoring them, he walked away, trying to mend his broken heart.
But he couldn’t move on. He wanted to, he swore. But he couldn’t. With every single day watching how Ohno and Jun love grew, his hatred grew on the man too and that resulted to what happened now.
Ohno should be punished. A hard one for breaking him and taking him for granted. If he can’t have Ohno, no one should have him as well.
“Kazu...”Ohno called him softly as he saw the tears flowing from Nino’s eyes. “Kazu... i’m sorry for hurting you. For whatever I have done, ignoring you after breaking up with you, for you to see me with Jun that night, I’m really sorry, I didn’t meant for you to see me that night”
Nino scoffed. Sorry? The word sounds so fake to his ears even though Ohno really meant it. He pulled himself away a little, then back to working on Ohno’s length again. The man grunted, moving uncomfortably under him.
“Kazu...” Ohno called him again, trying to get Nino’s attention. The pain on Nino’s face didn’t fade but nothing he can do to make the man stop. With his hands cuffed to the bed, it limited his movement. He wanted to stop the man, take him into an embrace, and want to promise him a better relation for them if Nino ever gave him the chance. But he couldn’t do that. All he could do was moan Nino’s name and plead him to stop as the man fastened his pace.
But then Ohno noticed something else. The cold stare from Nino before was no longer there. Instead, it was replaced by sadness. Once again, the man lowered his body, catching his lips into a passionate kiss. Here, he found the Ninomiya that he used to know. The sweet, loving Ninomiya that he had taken for granted. And when Nino parted from the kiss, he begged him for more, but Nino just shook his head.
“Kazu... please,” he pleaded, trying to break free his hands from the cuffs, but Nino didn’t say anything, only a sob left his mouth.. He shook his head, not wanting to hear anything from Ohno anymore as he continued moving his hips. He needed to end this fast. He was tired, physically and emotionally. Rather than giving him satisfaction, this revenge he wanted to give hurt him instead.
“It’s ok, Oh-chan,” he caressed the man’s cheek lightly. “If it’s goodbye that you want from me, then I will give you one,” Nino said, wiping his tears from his cheek. His other hand on the man’s chest, supporting him as he moved his hips as fast as he could.
Ohno shut his eyes, unable to control himself from enjoying the pleasure. He moaned again and again, at the same time begging for the man to stop. He didn’t want it to end, but with Nino violently moving his length in and out from his hole, Ohno knew, he would come soon.
With one hard push, Nino arched his body, spurting all his seed to the man’s stomach, and Ohno’s body shudder as he released his seed into the man, before passing out from exhaustion.
***
Ohno woke up the next morning to realize that his hands were released from the cuffs. He was still naked though, but a blanket covered his body. He noticed the empty spot next to him and all of a sudden, it felt heavy in his chest.
Nino’s crying face last night appeared in his head. Once again, guilt surrounded him. Slowly, he moved out from the bed, groaning a little as his lower parts felt sore from the rough sex the night before. But he cared less. He needed to find Nino as the man’s words last night played in his mind.
No. He didn’t want a goodbye anymore. All he wanted now was to see the man, asking him for forgiveness that he had been wanting to ask since before but never had a chance. He wanted to have another chance with Nino and he promised himself that he’d treasure him forever, just the way Nino loved him.
Slowly, he pulled the door open, his eyes roaming around the living room and finding Nino sleeping on the couch. He limped towards the man, crouching down to face him. He caressed the man’s cheek, sweeping the bangs from Nino’s forehead to get a good look at the man’s face before dropping a kiss on his forehead.
“i’m sorry, Kazu,” he said, caressing his cheek. But Nino didn’t even stir from the touch, making Ohno chuckle of how soundly the man slept. “i won’t bid you goodbye, Kazu. Give me another chance for me to make everything right for us again.” He leaned in, kissing the sleeping guy.
But Nino didn’t give a response. Only then Ohno noticed how cold the man was.
“Kazu...” He shook the man to wake him, panicking when he received no sign that the man would. Nino’s hand fell to his side, his heartbeat weak as Ohno checks it. Almost none. As if lifeless. The thought scares him so much. He noticed a note on the table next to him. Next to the note was a half emptied bottle of sleeping pills. His hand trembled as he reached for the note, unfolded it, and cried as he read the content.
“I feel that my life has ceased to have a meaning, Oh-chan. I thought it’s better to kill you, but if you die, then there’s no reason for me to live, too. So I decided, it is better for me to bid you goodbye. Take care of Jun. I love you. -Ninomiya Kazunari,”
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notes: to be honest, i don't have any confident at all with this fic. my beta has done a great job. she helped me twice.i never send my fic for beta twice. lol. thanks miss shadz. but seriously, NC-17 and R is not my specialty. i love to read, but NG to write. so it might appear weird for the readers. i'm sorry about that. the angst in this one is not well conveyed i think. again i'm sorry for that too. but this idea has been lingering in my head for quite a time, and it's disturbing me until i wrote it. but i kept it for 2 weeks after the finished product. that's just show how i have no confident at all about this. sorry if this doesn't satisfy you. thank you for reading
