ica_90

Link to the last chapter (10) is here

Flashback

“you’re annoying me so much! Just get lost. I don’t need you. You’re not my daughter,” it didn’t take me so long to pack my stuff and went out from the house. Good enough I’m 21, have my own money that mum leaves me.

Somehow, I feel glad that he didn’t spoil me that much like he did to my sister. I know well how to spend my money and I know how to keep it for myself. After all, I might not need it anymore later. I pulled out my cell phone from my pocket, dialing a number.

“I need a flight to Tokyo, please. Either tonight or early tomorrow morning,” I hang up after I give them my details, with my mind remembering every single memories with the person who value me.

“mom…” I whisper. I could feel tears were falling down my cheeks.

End of flashback

In front of me, is the person who I avoided so much. He said those words; I’m just fulfilling what he wants. I look at him in annoyed. How dare he come here, when he’s the reason of mum’s death? The moment I saw him, I feel like to slam the door directly on his face. How much he hates me, I hate him more.

“ Riisa…” he calls me soft. I didn’t move a bit, not even response his calling. I just look at him. I wish I have courage to just close the door, ignoring him but I just can’t.

“Riisa-chan.. dare… Edward-san,” from her tone, I know kaachan was shocked. She looks at me and the guy in front of me in turns.

“Why aren’t you invite your dad to come in Riisa-chan?”

“He doesn’t have to. I don’t think he has any business here,” I said, not taking my eyes from him. I saw him sighs.

“Daijoubu, Nee-chan,”

“you dare to call her Nee-chan? After all you did to mum?” I yelled. I just can’t hold getting annoy to him anymore. Watching him in front of me, it sickened me out.

“I’m sorry. I’ll just go to my room,” I said and turn around before being stop by him.

“Riisa, please. I need to talk to you,” he said. It sounds soft, almost begging. I never heard him to talk to me that way before. I look at Kaachan. I’m sure she is curious to know what is actually happened between me and that guy. There’s no possible way for me to call him dad. He admits it himself; I’m not his child.

“then talk,” I reply him short. It sounds harsh, but I don’t care.

He sighs.

“Why don’t we just take a walk somewhere near here?” he suggests.

“And why would I go with you?”

“Because you’re my daughter,” he sounds so pathetic. I couldn’t help myself to not feeling annoy. Kaachan went to me.

“Why don’t you go, Riisa? You haven’t met your dad almost two months,” she said, persuading me.

I didn’t want to go, but maybe because it was Kaachan who ask me, I decided to go with him.

It’s hurting me. Walking next to him cause me to remember mum so much. I still can remember, the night before mum died.

I walk into the room just to see my mum’s crying. Slowly I walks towards her.

“Mum?” she didn’t said a word when she suddenly hugs me.

“My heart broke so much, Riisa. Your dad…” I didn’t have to hear her. I know he’s having affair with his secretary. My body shakes so much. Slowly, she let go of me. Her eyes meet mine.

“Whatever happened to me, remember, I love you,” she said kissing my forehead.

I close my eyes, trying to hold the pain inside my heart, by the same time my headache worsens.

“Riisa…”

“You keep calling my name without telling what you really want to tell. It’s freaking annoying,” I said while massaging my head, trying to reduce the pain I feel. I heard him sighs.

“I know you’re mad,”

“mad? I am not mad, I’m sick of you. You ignored me all my life, you hurt mum, you didn’t admit me as your daughter, and now you came here begging like a pathetic people telling me as your daughter?” outrage is the right word to explain what am I doing right now.

“riisa, please. Let me explain,”

“3 years dad, 3 years since mum’s death. Yet you never try to explain once. Why now?” I can’t hold my tears anymore.

“i… i….,”he stutters.

“please, Dad. You’re causing me to question myself again and again. Am I your child? Why did you treat me different from Eliz?” and she treats me different too. All of my life, I only have mum who treat me nicely. While the other two, I was like a plastic bag.

“I feel guilt, Riisa,” he blurted out. My eyes narrows.

“Guilt?” he nodded.

“My guilt causing me to hate you,” there he goes, admitting it. As expected, he really hates me.

He paused, not looking at me or speak anything. I feel like running back to the house, leaving him alone there.

“You’re 2 that time, still young. You might not remember it,” he continues.

“eliz has a twin. Mel. Both of them are 7 that time. 2 years, I was so happy when you’re born. I keep pampering you so much. Both of us, me and your mum, and we seems to not having our attention to the twin,” he said. For the first time in my life, I saw him crying. He didn’t even cry when mum’s death.

“I neglected them so much, until one day Mel is having a high fever. We did send her to the hospitals, but it’s too late. Her brain damage, but still, she loves you so much,” I hear him sobs.

“then one day, you’re playing at the stairs. You, Mel and Eliz. It was an accident, she was slipped with the toys that you arranged near the stairs. She suffers an internal bleeding in her brain,” I take a deep breath.

“and you blame me for that,” now I understand. For a while, I feel pity at him.

“I feel guilt, Riisa. If I did take care of her, she’ll still be with us,”

“so you hate me, because I am the reason why sis dead?” I sighs. “that’s enough already,” I said.

“I’m doing a mistake. But I never learn. Please, come back with me,”

I look at him.

“I didn’t ask for it anymore, dad,” I look at him coldly. “For the whole life of mine, I keep asking myself when will love you me? When will you care about me, but it’s all left hanging. You don’t have to mind me anymore, dad. It’s too late,”

“Riisa”

“please, just go. You still have Eliz. Take care of her,” I said one last time before I run back to the house.

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I went to the pharmacy by the next day. My headache seems to worsen each day. And I know the reason why. It just I hate to face it.

I hand the counter my prescription, waiting for them to gives me whatever it needs.

“Riisa Bryne,” I heard my name being called. Straightly, I went towards the counter

“something wrong?”I ask.

“we’re sorry, but somehow, the medicine stated here. We didn’t have it. You might have to refer back to the doctor here,” the one who works there said to me. I sigh.

“mo, daijoubu. Anou, can’t you just give me the pain killer?” she shook her head.

“I’m sorry, but it’s not something that we can directly give without the prescription,” I nod, completely understand that they’re just doing their work. i said thanks to them before going out from the pharmacy.

I didn’t know when, but what I really sure now, I have a very limited time. And I shouldn’t be selfish!

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ps://this is originally post in Aibakaland .... i've quite update there :))