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ica_90Maybe Forever || AU.Angst || PG-15 (as for now) || Chapter 5 || unbeta
It has been long years since they sit alone together like this. It was 5 years to Ohno, but if anyone asked Nino, he knew the exact time up to minute since they had their last intense talk.
They were outside the house. it took him some times for him to drag Ohno out just because the man refused to leave his wife sigh. Nino didn’t blame him tho. Miyuki was right. He’s indeed a good husband.
He could hear the man’s breath. From the corner of his eyes, he could see confused on Ohno’s face as Nino finished his story; about Miyuki’s final request for him.
“Then, how could you agree?”
Nino didn’t answer him straight away. His face was calm, same as his breathe as he inhaled the smoke into his system.
To be honest, he didn’t have the answer to Ohno’s question as well. ‘How could he agree?’ was such a fine question coming out from his cousin’s husband. How could he agree when he knew that not a single spot of love for him ever exist in Ohno’s heart? How could he agree when all the thing he had for the man now was nothing but heartache? How could he agree when Ohno was married to his beloved cousin?
He should never agree to it, wasn’t him?
“Don’t get me wrong, Ka-Nino,” Ohno changed as he saw the glare from Nino. Sighing hard, he continued. “You deserved better. And of course, for you to love me again, i don’t deserve you at all,”
“True,” Nino said short, shifting his sight away from the man. Once again, he let silence embrace the two of them.
“Don’t get me wrong too, Ohno-san. I don’t agree because i want anything in return. Just like you’d say before, we shouldn’t happen in the first place.”
Nino paused, contemplating his next words. Unsure, he brought the cigar to his lips, inhaling the smoke into his system again.
What’s the point with these whole things? He asked himself again and again since he went out from the room. The only solution he had in his mind was to pretend. Pretend that they’re fine. Pretend that they’re in love with each other.
Pretend that he is fine.
But how much longer should he kept pretending, when the scar from before kept on bleeding? In fact, even worst.
“I’ve just have to pretend, right?” He continued after heaving another sigh. He gather his courage, facing the man who had promised to hate for the whole of his life, but failed. He saw how Ohno was frowning as he listened to his words, hence he continued. “Pretend that you’re fine with my existence in your current life. Pretend in front of her that there is hope for the two of us in the future. And when it over, when she died, I’ll leave. As easy as that,”
“It’s not as easy as that, Nino.” Ohno disagreed. “You might not believe me anymore, but won’t you hurt?”
“Hurt?” Nino smiled scornfully. “I guess, I’m already immune to the word, Ohno-san. 5 years weren’t a short period. Somewhere along that period, I kind of forget how it feels.”
Nino’s words felt like stabbing him from every direction. If 5 years ago, he never even think of the word responsibility towards the man for everything that happened between them, here they are now and felt miserably responsible for all the hurt he had caused the man.
He felt the urge to take Nino into his embrace. He wanted to scream his apology. But his legs never made a move, his ego stopping him from doing so.
Before he knew it, Nino had stood up from the bench, slinging the bag to his body. Before Ohno could ask, he saw Jun making his way towards them, stopping halfway as he realizing that the two of them were still in the middle of conversation.
“You say so. She’s critically ill. She won’t has a lot of time. But while she has them, let’s pretend that we’re fine. Let’s make her happy for one last time”
“I-“
“You can’t fall in love with me,” Nino said firmly. “If you ever show even a slightest hint, it’s a game over,”
“What-“
“Treat it like a game you did last time, Ohno-san. Convince her like you convinced me that i might stand a chance with you last time.”
Silence.
Not until Nino broke it with a laugh.
“Your stupid dumbfounded face. 5 years never changed you too, ne Ohno-san,”
Ohno could see the smirk on Nino’s face before he turned around, letting Jun to carry his bags towards the car.
While watching them leave, Ohno wonder if everything they’re planning to do is a right thing to do in the first place.
While pretending to be fine, are they really going to be fine?
***
Nino had actually expected how tough it will be to pretend that he was fine by agreeing to Miyuki’s request. He knew, despite how many time he tried to convince himself that everything is going to be fine, there’ll be thousands on obstacles he might have to face.
When morning came, he woke up feeling hesitate.
He didn’t blame Jun when the man sort of freak out the moment he told him about his plan. Jun disagree with all he might. He told Nino that whatever plan he had in mind will never work. It will backfire him no matter how perfect it sounded. All because of one reason; Ohno.
Jun was being concern, Nino knew that well.
“Look Jun, even if I fall in love with him again, it’s useless right? Why are you afraid of the possibilities that I might fall in love with him again when it took me 5 years to heal my own heartache?”
Jun groaned.
“Because what you heal is your heartache. What you never heal is your love.”
“I don’t love him any-“
“You can keep denying it now, Nino. But when the time comes-“
“If the time ever come, it’s useless.” Nino stopped Jun from continuing anymore words.
The food served in front of him left untouched even how appetizing it looked. Thanks to Jun cooking skill. However, Jun worries seem to switch off his hunger. By the end of their conversation, Nino started getting worried too.
Worried of every possibility.
They stopped talking when Jun sighed, taking his plate to the kitchen. Nino could see the dissatisfaction on the man’s face. They’ve talked since last night. Yet until now, both of them couldn’t find any conclusion.
“I don’t want you to hurt again, Kazu.” Jun said once he came back from the kitchen. “You had it enough.”
Nino nodded, agreeing.
“Of course. But i’m not doing this for myself, Jun.”
Nino could see a hint of mock when Jun replied to him.
“Prove it to me, Kazu. Then I will believe it”
Paused.
“But rather than thinking it’s going to be fine for the both of you, i believe it will be such a hell,” Jun said, earning him a sigh from Nino.
***
Jun was indeed right.
The moment Nino entered Ohno’s house by the very next day, it was already a hell for him.
She looked damn weak on that wheelchair, trying so hard to join their conversation while having their breakfast. Nino watched how Ohno caringly took care of her needs, kissing her tenderly on her temple as he lead her to the table. atthe same, Nino can't help to wonder why even after 5 years has passed, there's still sadness as he watch those scene. he had stopped loving the man, wasn't he?
It was filled with laughter, stupid jokes and sarcasm before a silence.
Until Miyuki broke it with her another request.
“i want the two of you to go for a vacation. Together.”
______________________________________________________________________________
before anyone ask, i don't really want to write Ohno and his wife moment. She's actually pushing Ohno away to Nino. that was my imagination now. maybe that's why i've lacked of ideas on how to explain them.
umm... comments and critics are welcome.
It has been long years since they sit alone together like this. It was 5 years to Ohno, but if anyone asked Nino, he knew the exact time up to minute since they had their last intense talk.
They were outside the house. it took him some times for him to drag Ohno out just because the man refused to leave his wife sigh. Nino didn’t blame him tho. Miyuki was right. He’s indeed a good husband.
He could hear the man’s breath. From the corner of his eyes, he could see confused on Ohno’s face as Nino finished his story; about Miyuki’s final request for him.
“Then, how could you agree?”
Nino didn’t answer him straight away. His face was calm, same as his breathe as he inhaled the smoke into his system.
To be honest, he didn’t have the answer to Ohno’s question as well. ‘How could he agree?’ was such a fine question coming out from his cousin’s husband. How could he agree when he knew that not a single spot of love for him ever exist in Ohno’s heart? How could he agree when all the thing he had for the man now was nothing but heartache? How could he agree when Ohno was married to his beloved cousin?
He should never agree to it, wasn’t him?
“Don’t get me wrong, Ka-Nino,” Ohno changed as he saw the glare from Nino. Sighing hard, he continued. “You deserved better. And of course, for you to love me again, i don’t deserve you at all,”
“True,” Nino said short, shifting his sight away from the man. Once again, he let silence embrace the two of them.
“Don’t get me wrong too, Ohno-san. I don’t agree because i want anything in return. Just like you’d say before, we shouldn’t happen in the first place.”
Nino paused, contemplating his next words. Unsure, he brought the cigar to his lips, inhaling the smoke into his system again.
What’s the point with these whole things? He asked himself again and again since he went out from the room. The only solution he had in his mind was to pretend. Pretend that they’re fine. Pretend that they’re in love with each other.
Pretend that he is fine.
But how much longer should he kept pretending, when the scar from before kept on bleeding? In fact, even worst.
“I’ve just have to pretend, right?” He continued after heaving another sigh. He gather his courage, facing the man who had promised to hate for the whole of his life, but failed. He saw how Ohno was frowning as he listened to his words, hence he continued. “Pretend that you’re fine with my existence in your current life. Pretend in front of her that there is hope for the two of us in the future. And when it over, when she died, I’ll leave. As easy as that,”
“It’s not as easy as that, Nino.” Ohno disagreed. “You might not believe me anymore, but won’t you hurt?”
“Hurt?” Nino smiled scornfully. “I guess, I’m already immune to the word, Ohno-san. 5 years weren’t a short period. Somewhere along that period, I kind of forget how it feels.”
Nino’s words felt like stabbing him from every direction. If 5 years ago, he never even think of the word responsibility towards the man for everything that happened between them, here they are now and felt miserably responsible for all the hurt he had caused the man.
He felt the urge to take Nino into his embrace. He wanted to scream his apology. But his legs never made a move, his ego stopping him from doing so.
Before he knew it, Nino had stood up from the bench, slinging the bag to his body. Before Ohno could ask, he saw Jun making his way towards them, stopping halfway as he realizing that the two of them were still in the middle of conversation.
“You say so. She’s critically ill. She won’t has a lot of time. But while she has them, let’s pretend that we’re fine. Let’s make her happy for one last time”
“I-“
“You can’t fall in love with me,” Nino said firmly. “If you ever show even a slightest hint, it’s a game over,”
“What-“
“Treat it like a game you did last time, Ohno-san. Convince her like you convinced me that i might stand a chance with you last time.”
Silence.
Not until Nino broke it with a laugh.
“Your stupid dumbfounded face. 5 years never changed you too, ne Ohno-san,”
Ohno could see the smirk on Nino’s face before he turned around, letting Jun to carry his bags towards the car.
While watching them leave, Ohno wonder if everything they’re planning to do is a right thing to do in the first place.
While pretending to be fine, are they really going to be fine?
***
Nino had actually expected how tough it will be to pretend that he was fine by agreeing to Miyuki’s request. He knew, despite how many time he tried to convince himself that everything is going to be fine, there’ll be thousands on obstacles he might have to face.
When morning came, he woke up feeling hesitate.
He didn’t blame Jun when the man sort of freak out the moment he told him about his plan. Jun disagree with all he might. He told Nino that whatever plan he had in mind will never work. It will backfire him no matter how perfect it sounded. All because of one reason; Ohno.
Jun was being concern, Nino knew that well.
“Look Jun, even if I fall in love with him again, it’s useless right? Why are you afraid of the possibilities that I might fall in love with him again when it took me 5 years to heal my own heartache?”
Jun groaned.
“Because what you heal is your heartache. What you never heal is your love.”
“I don’t love him any-“
“You can keep denying it now, Nino. But when the time comes-“
“If the time ever come, it’s useless.” Nino stopped Jun from continuing anymore words.
The food served in front of him left untouched even how appetizing it looked. Thanks to Jun cooking skill. However, Jun worries seem to switch off his hunger. By the end of their conversation, Nino started getting worried too.
Worried of every possibility.
They stopped talking when Jun sighed, taking his plate to the kitchen. Nino could see the dissatisfaction on the man’s face. They’ve talked since last night. Yet until now, both of them couldn’t find any conclusion.
“I don’t want you to hurt again, Kazu.” Jun said once he came back from the kitchen. “You had it enough.”
Nino nodded, agreeing.
“Of course. But i’m not doing this for myself, Jun.”
Nino could see a hint of mock when Jun replied to him.
“Prove it to me, Kazu. Then I will believe it”
Paused.
“But rather than thinking it’s going to be fine for the both of you, i believe it will be such a hell,” Jun said, earning him a sigh from Nino.
***
Jun was indeed right.
The moment Nino entered Ohno’s house by the very next day, it was already a hell for him.
She looked damn weak on that wheelchair, trying so hard to join their conversation while having their breakfast. Nino watched how Ohno caringly took care of her needs, kissing her tenderly on her temple as he lead her to the table. atthe same, Nino can't help to wonder why even after 5 years has passed, there's still sadness as he watch those scene. he had stopped loving the man, wasn't he?
It was filled with laughter, stupid jokes and sarcasm before a silence.
Until Miyuki broke it with her another request.
“i want the two of you to go for a vacation. Together.”
______________________________________________________________________________
before anyone ask, i don't really want to write Ohno and his wife moment. She's actually pushing Ohno away to Nino. that was my imagination now. maybe that's why i've lacked of ideas on how to explain them.
umm... comments and critics are welcome.
