#reallife: my hurting heart
Apr. 4th, 2013 12:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ica_90I post my entry here because my real life friends never spot this page of mine. They usually find me in FB or Blogspot. I just don't want anyone in my real life to see this state of mine.
At this moment I just feel down with my own life. I don't know which part of my life has been disturbed which has cause everything to turn upside down. I was teached to not blame what has happened. But what i'm doing now is reflecting my past, to find which part if it is the reason what is happening now.
Maybe. Maybe the reason why this is happening is because of my stubbornness on deciding my FYP title. My final year project. I remember so well when my lecturer ask me to find a project that I want to do. He asked me to propose my own title. Yet.. My stubbornness makes me decided to do the hardest title in the list of Fyp title that the school has give us the student to choose.
It's a good project. About silver nanoparticles. Maybe because I am interested to further my study/ work in nanomaterial area, I said I want to do it. But then the problem arises.
I did't have enough materials..
This is where my problem arises. My milestones start to deviates, and I start to lost track on my schedule.
As of today.. I only left a month to finish up my Project.. Which I already loses my hope.
While i'm hoping for people to understand me, this people just want me to follow what they want.
In the end... It's always their happiness. Not mine.
At this moment I just feel down with my own life. I don't know which part of my life has been disturbed which has cause everything to turn upside down. I was teached to not blame what has happened. But what i'm doing now is reflecting my past, to find which part if it is the reason what is happening now.
Maybe. Maybe the reason why this is happening is because of my stubbornness on deciding my FYP title. My final year project. I remember so well when my lecturer ask me to find a project that I want to do. He asked me to propose my own title. Yet.. My stubbornness makes me decided to do the hardest title in the list of Fyp title that the school has give us the student to choose.
It's a good project. About silver nanoparticles. Maybe because I am interested to further my study/ work in nanomaterial area, I said I want to do it. But then the problem arises.
I did't have enough materials..
This is where my problem arises. My milestones start to deviates, and I start to lost track on my schedule.
As of today.. I only left a month to finish up my Project.. Which I already loses my hope.
While i'm hoping for people to understand me, this people just want me to follow what they want.
In the end... It's always their happiness. Not mine.
