[ongoing] The Last Promise (7/??) - Aimiya
Oct. 3rd, 2014 10:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ica_90Title: The Last Promise (7/??)
Author: Ica_90
Beta by:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
icedragontmr
Pairing: [friendship] Aimiya, [one-sided (?)] Sakuraiba, Juntoshi [mentioned in some chapters]
Genre: Friendship, Angst, college-life
Rating: PG-13
Summary: a story revolves around the friendship of the two boys, friendship begins from an unexpected meeting, but none of them knows of how it’ll end.
Disclaimer: the word ‘fiction’ should explain everything. I own the plot, not the real character/human.
CHAPTER 7
Just when I thought that everything was fine, there comes the day that I was afraid of most. Things became worse than the day they happened. I know that I don’t have the power to stop Aiba-chan from loving Sakurai-san, no matter what I do. I always use the phrase “you can’t force someone to love you, or to love someone. It’ll bring damage rather than happiness”.
But Aiba-chan doesn’t force anyone to love him. Neither does Sakurai-san. Aiba-chan says there’s no hope for him and Sakurai-san. His status, his character and most importantly, feelings.
He tried, I swore he did. When he put a border line in his mind that Sakurai-san was just someone he worked for, he treated everything between them formally. No longer Sho-chan or Sho-kun. Just Sakurai-san. He spent less time with the man, and when he did spend time with the man it was just for work.
But that one day, I knew Sakurai-san crossed the line.
Aiba-chan breaks our promised that night. Something he had never done before. He always kept his promise. I remember him saying that he had some work to do, but he promised that he’d meet me. But when the time came, he never arrived.
No one is in the room when I come back at midnight. I tried to not mind the fact that Aiba-chan broke his promised tonight, but at the same time I was worried. I’m sure it has something to do with Sakurai-san. Maybe the man had asked him to do something urgent that he need to stay to finish it as fast as possible. But Aiba-chan didn’t send me any messages telling me that he couldn't meet me.
Maybe I worried too much. But no matter how hard I tried to stay calm, pushing away bad thought in my head, I feel that something bad had happened to my best friend. I keep waiting for him to come back, but even at 3, there was no sign that he was coming back any time soon. I fall asleep while waiting for him.
I wake up by the next morning when I hear the sounds of someone trying to stay silent while closing the door. I open my eyes slowly, to see him walking slowly towards his bed, snickering as he lay on his side.
“Okaeri,” I mumble lazily, startling the man, making his body jolt up out of shock. It takes him a few second of silence before he mumbles a soft ‘tadaima’ as a response to me.
I've known him for years. He’s hiding something, and the fact that he’s not even trying to look at me makes me so sure that he’s trying to hide something.
I keep staring at him. His back facing me. His shoulders move up and down and I’m sure my best friend was just pretending to sleep. Slowly, I sit up and remove myself from the bed, approaching my best friend. I push him, making him lie on his back, before I position myself on top of him. I heard him hissing of pain, but I ignore his cries.
“Where have you been since last night?” I asked, gripping his wrists, limiting his movement. He struggles to break free, but I pin him to the bed.
“Fuck, Nino. I’m so tired. Let’s talk about it some other time,” he lazily responds. I notice how weak my best friend is. Pressing him even firmer, I make him have eye contact with me. For once, I can see guilt in his eyes, but I'm unsure of the reason why.
“Seriously, Nino. You’re hurting me.”
“ You didn’t come back to the dorm for the whole night! And not to mention you broke our promise a week ago. You didn't even message me, telling me that you couldn't make it. I was worried. Where on earth have you been?”
It’s not a question that I really need to ask. I knew the answer already. But still, I wanted to hear it from his mouth, ensuring that he was fine. But Aiba-chan refuses to talk to me. He keeps saying that he was tired, that he need some rest, and I keep pushing him to his limit.
And then he stops struggling. I saw tears flowing from the corner of his eyes. Slowly, I release my grip on his hand, to notice how his wrist red.
“I didn’t hold you… that tight, did I?” I ask, a little hesitant. I received nothing as a reply. The man below me squeezed his eyes shut as he draws in a deep breath.
Something went wrong last night, and fuck. I’m sure enough that Aiba-chan would never say anything about it.
“Something happened last night, didn’t it? Aiba-chan?” I ask him again once I remove myself from atop of him and take a seat at the empty space of his bed.
“It's nothing,” he replied, still trying to hide the truth. Slowly, he sits up. I could see a painful expression and my instincts told me something bad had happened to my friend last night. Too bad that he has to hide it from me. “Really, it's nothing. I should get going,”
He stands up from his bed and grabs his towel, making his way to the door.
But at the same time, something snapped inside me. What was so bad that he had to hide it from me? We shared almost everything. Even the darkest parts of our lives, we hide nothing from each other. But why must he hide it now?
The words slip through my mouth without me really realizing it. There’s nothing weird by the way he's walking, though his hiss of pain earlier give me an idea that I tried to push away but I just can’t. It shouldn’t happen, but there is no possibility that it won’t happen.
“You're walking funny, Aiba-chan!” I said, making him halt. I know I’ve hit the point.
I stand, anger overpowering me. It wasn’t Sakurai-san that I mad at. It’s Aiba-chan.
“What have you done, Masaki? I thought you learned from before that nothing will work between you two. What are you doing now? Selling your body to him. Just because you love him doesn’t mean you have to be a slut for him!”
And then, I feel pain on my cheek. For the first time in my life, Aiba-chan slaps me
I know I have overstepped my boundary when Aiba-chan raises his hand to me. I was too busy feeling mad at him to notice how my friends’ eyes were red with tears flowing at the corner of his eyes. He’s crying. My best friend is crying and I’m sure it wasn’t because of physical pain. He’s aching inside, and my words earlier were one of the reasons.
“You’ll never understand...” he said, choking on his words. “You will never understand.”
“Aiba-chan…”
“You will never be in my shoes, Nino. You will never understand how it feels to fall in love with a straight man who will never look at you, who will never think of you the same way you think about him! It may be easy for you to ask me to forget my feelings for him. That it will be easy for me to say “Okay, I will,” but do you know how hard is it for me to stop loving him? I've been love-struck since the first day we arrived at this college! Heck, I can’t stop loving him because it happened!”
For the first time in my life, Aiba-chan was yelling at me, venting out his anger to me. For the first time in my life too, I can’t find the words to retort how ridiculous he sounds, or how stupid he is because I know whatever I say I’ll hurt my best friend even more.
Both of us fell silent. Aiba-chan was weeping silently before he slumped to the floor. I rush to his side, but he pushed me away. I could see how miserable he is at the moment. Taking his towel, I carefully wipe his tears. He's already hurt, and I have no intention to hurt him further.
“He was drunk. I- I can’t… God. I was so weak. He came to me, hugged me from behind. I should have struggled to break free... God. Why am I so weak to him?”
I continue wiping his tears, as I listen to him.
“His breath in my ear… I just can’t push him away. It’s what I’ve been longing for, Nino. It’s what I’ve been imagining, to have him embrace me, make love to me. I can’t push him away. My mind was telling me to run, but my heart kept wanting more. I told him to stop. I really did. But he kissed me. That’s all he needs--” He stops, sobbing before continuing again. “That’s all he needs for him to conquer my body. For him to thrust into me harder even though I told him it’s hurt. And then…”
“Stop.” I stop him from continuing. I pull him into my embrace. “That’s enough. You don’t have to continue anymore. That’s enough.”
I could feel how hard he’s trying to control his emotions. He didn’t wail his lung out, but his sobbing could be felt as I hug him tight, rubbing his back to calm him down.
“I’ve became a cheap one, am I?”
What should I have said in response?
***
It didn’t stop there. I know. Even though Aiba-chan didn’t tell me about it, I know. When he came back to the room with red marks on his neck, some bruises on his body, he didn’t need to tell me that it happened again.
And his routine of skipping classes happened again. This time, I’m not going to let him to have ‘extra classes’ with Sakurai-san again.
I hate it, when I see Sakurai-san wearing this smug face. Everytime I saw him in the cafeteria or anywhere in the university. Every single time. As if it was a sign of victory or something.
For god sake, if I ever saw him with that face… I’m going…
“You’ll age faster if you keep frowning, Nino.”
“Shut up, J. You’re such a nuisance,” I replied, munching the fries I bought earlier. I spit it out as it has no taste, cold as a result to my own thoughts earlier.
“Nuisance? To what? Imagining porn in your head?” I sharply glare at him.
I lowered my voice. “Seriously. Just shut up! And never ever said anything about porn in front of Aiba-kun."
“Or else what?”
He’s gonna be sad, is what I wanna say.
“I’m not that sensitive, Nino,” a husky voice from behind startled me. I saw how Jun-kun was throwing Aiba that curious look when he heard the man, but Aiba just laughed him off. “I mean, it’s not that it can make me horny right after I hear the word, right, Nino?”
Both of us fake a laugh. I’m sure we managed to deceive the two as I see them laughing along with Aiba-chan. We fell silent afterwards, munching our food in silence.
I stare at my friend for quite some time and notice dark circles under his eyes. So he’s been crying without me knowing it. Somehow, I sigh. I want him to stop hurting himself. But without him making his first move, I know that he’ll keep feeling hurt by the senior who has not a single feeling for him.
“You’re staring and it's making me feel uncomfortable,” he said without even looking at me.
“Sorry,” I mutter, taking my gaze away from him before creating another silent gap between us again. It didn’t last very long.
“Do you have anything to do after this?”
“Not really,” I replied lazily. “Why?”
“Sakurai-san wants to meet me. And he’s asking you to tag along,” he explained. I frown.
“Excuse me? Pardon?”
“I’m sure you heard me right, Nino. Please don’t make me repeat myself.”
“Of course I heard you. But you’re not making any sense. Sorry I was wrong. He’s not making any sense. What do I have to tag along?”
Slowly, Aiba-can raised his head, his eyes meeting mine. There’s nothing other than tiredness shown in his eyes as he spoke.
“Please don’t ask me. I don’t know. Can you make it or not?” he said, slightly irritated. For a moment, the two of us keep staring at each other. I nod, remembering that I have nothing on my schedule after this.
“Good….” He paused. “Thank you.”
I frown.
****
I tried my very best to not leave the scene. For a moment, I was wondering what is in the man’s head, asking me to came along with my best friend only to show how happy he is with his girlfriend. For god sake, just how much longer was he going to keep this up.
I could feel Aiba-chan take my hand into his, gripping it tightly, maybe a sign of asking for support. I tried my best to not show my anger towards the couple in front of me.
The worst part in the whole situation is the hickey on Aiba-chan’s neck that was clearly shown, and he is not bothering to hide it anymore. Sakurai-san has become the jerk who fucks my best friend one night, only to break his heart the next day by taking his girlfriend along into this meeting.
I start feeling annoyed so I decided to start the conversation.
“Why did you call me as well? I can understand Aiba-kun, but why me?”
The lovers in front of us keep entwining their fingers together as if they’re trying to show how happy their life is at the moment. The grin on the girl’s face makes me want to throw a glass of water on her, wanting her to wake up from the lie she is in right now. it is the same for the man as well. The way he stared at my best friend as if he was determined to break him even further. I’m not sure if there are pieces left to break in my friend's heart the moment Sakurai-san utter his next words.
“We’re getting married.”
God, why are you letting this guy hurt my best friend again?
“Well, congratulations,” I said, ignoring the fact that my friend has now lowered his head, staring at his lap. “I still don’t get the point why as to why I am being drag here just to hear your announcement.”
Sakurai-san paused, biting his lips before it forms an elegant smile again. He turns to the girl next to him, caressing her hair before turn back to us again.
“We’re not going to get married now. I still have a year to finish my studies... I just need something to keep us working until that time.”
“Why don’t you just fuck her, make her bloat with your child. It will help, trust me.” Aiba-chan nudges my arm, forcing me to stop talking again. Though, I could see how Sakurai-san's face started to get tense by my words earlier. Noticing this, Aiba speaks up.
“Maa, maa.. Ninomiya-kun is joking, senpai, Harumi-san,” he knows her name. Aiba-chan… why are you doing this. “It’s ok, you just need something to make it official between the two of you right? A bracelet or a ring?”
How can he stay calm saying all this when he was aching inside? He continues smiling, a genuine one even though only god knows how broken he is. I can’t keep watching my best friend hurt like this that I stand, pulling Aiba-chan’s wrist to make him stand too.
“Surprise me,”
I smirk of annoyed.
“Sure, I’ll help him find one for you.”
“Make sure it’s nice. I don’t mind the price.”
“Sure. Don't worry about it. I’ll ask Ohno-san to help. Jun-kun can choose one too. He really has good sense when it came to accessories.”
“I’m giving this task to the two of you, Ninomiya-san. I don’t need other opinions.” His brows furrow. I chuckled.
“Trust me, Sakurai-san. We’re just commoners. Like what you always said. You don’t want our opinion that much. All you want to do is hurt people’s heart and receive congratulations. You do it well.” I pull my friend away from the table, leaving the lovers alone. But before we really did, I turn back at him.
“You’ll have the bracelet tomorrow. Once again, congratulations to the both of you. Please lead a happy life.”
And then we leave.
We don't speak a word on the way into town. Aiba-chan decided to do it all without involving any one other than the two of us.
“To be honest, I hate seeing you smile right now, because I know you’re faking it,” I said as we make our way to the jeweler store. He chuckled.
“I’m not faking it, Nino. He made it clear now… I was nothing in his eyes, that I’m just his errand boy. I’m fine. I’ll move on. I promised.”
“Aiba-chan…”
“Loving him... doesn’t mean that I have to own him. Not every love has a happy ending, Nino. I’m sure I’ll find one, one day. But with him, this is the end.”
I have nothing in my head as a response. We keep silent until we reach the store, and he chose a few bracelets that looked extremely good.
“I wonder if this will look good on her hand? She has a slender wrist. Too big won’t do her any good, right?”
He kept commenting while searching for the right one, before I stop him.
“Stop, Aiba-chan… Why do you keep hurting yourself, Aiba-chan? Isn’t it enough? After all he did to you, isn’t it time to stop”
I’m not sure if he ever noticed the plead in my voice, but I really am. I want him to stop. Stop all this suffering; I want my friend to have a happy life, to enjoy his university life to the fullest. But bearing all this on his shoulders, I know there’s no possible way for him to have one.
For a moment, he stops choosing the bracelet and he stares directly into my eyes, and then he sighs, continuing to choose the jewelry as he mumbles his answer.
“Because he keeps hurting me too. Until he stops, it will never be enough.”
For the first time in my life, I heard disappointment in his voice. He never shows his emotions, not always. If he did, he must be having such strong feelings. In this case, he must be hurt.
"What did we call it again, having sex without love?” he asked that night when we came back from the town. I could still sense frustration in his voice, no matter how hard he hides it, it's still obviously shown in his voice.
“Fuck,” I take a deep breath, observing my best friend reacting before continuing again. “You’re not making love. You just fuck. For lust. That’s it.”
“Yeah…we fuck for lust. That must be it.”
I never mean to be harsh, but I know what I’ve done when I see a trail of tears on my best friend's cheeks.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
i have an announcement. from the next chapter, the fic won't have any beta. unless anyone want to help me beta the fic, i'll be glad. i'll try my best to do this. sorry for making everyone waiting. thanks for reading~
NEXT
Author: Ica_90
Beta by:
icedragontmrPairing: [friendship] Aimiya, [one-sided (?)] Sakuraiba, Juntoshi [mentioned in some chapters]
Genre: Friendship, Angst, college-life
Rating: PG-13
Summary: a story revolves around the friendship of the two boys, friendship begins from an unexpected meeting, but none of them knows of how it’ll end.
Disclaimer: the word ‘fiction’ should explain everything. I own the plot, not the real character/human.
CHAPTER 7
Just when I thought that everything was fine, there comes the day that I was afraid of most. Things became worse than the day they happened. I know that I don’t have the power to stop Aiba-chan from loving Sakurai-san, no matter what I do. I always use the phrase “you can’t force someone to love you, or to love someone. It’ll bring damage rather than happiness”.
But Aiba-chan doesn’t force anyone to love him. Neither does Sakurai-san. Aiba-chan says there’s no hope for him and Sakurai-san. His status, his character and most importantly, feelings.
He tried, I swore he did. When he put a border line in his mind that Sakurai-san was just someone he worked for, he treated everything between them formally. No longer Sho-chan or Sho-kun. Just Sakurai-san. He spent less time with the man, and when he did spend time with the man it was just for work.
But that one day, I knew Sakurai-san crossed the line.
Aiba-chan breaks our promised that night. Something he had never done before. He always kept his promise. I remember him saying that he had some work to do, but he promised that he’d meet me. But when the time came, he never arrived.
No one is in the room when I come back at midnight. I tried to not mind the fact that Aiba-chan broke his promised tonight, but at the same time I was worried. I’m sure it has something to do with Sakurai-san. Maybe the man had asked him to do something urgent that he need to stay to finish it as fast as possible. But Aiba-chan didn’t send me any messages telling me that he couldn't meet me.
Maybe I worried too much. But no matter how hard I tried to stay calm, pushing away bad thought in my head, I feel that something bad had happened to my best friend. I keep waiting for him to come back, but even at 3, there was no sign that he was coming back any time soon. I fall asleep while waiting for him.
I wake up by the next morning when I hear the sounds of someone trying to stay silent while closing the door. I open my eyes slowly, to see him walking slowly towards his bed, snickering as he lay on his side.
“Okaeri,” I mumble lazily, startling the man, making his body jolt up out of shock. It takes him a few second of silence before he mumbles a soft ‘tadaima’ as a response to me.
I've known him for years. He’s hiding something, and the fact that he’s not even trying to look at me makes me so sure that he’s trying to hide something.
I keep staring at him. His back facing me. His shoulders move up and down and I’m sure my best friend was just pretending to sleep. Slowly, I sit up and remove myself from the bed, approaching my best friend. I push him, making him lie on his back, before I position myself on top of him. I heard him hissing of pain, but I ignore his cries.
“Where have you been since last night?” I asked, gripping his wrists, limiting his movement. He struggles to break free, but I pin him to the bed.
“Fuck, Nino. I’m so tired. Let’s talk about it some other time,” he lazily responds. I notice how weak my best friend is. Pressing him even firmer, I make him have eye contact with me. For once, I can see guilt in his eyes, but I'm unsure of the reason why.
“Seriously, Nino. You’re hurting me.”
“ You didn’t come back to the dorm for the whole night! And not to mention you broke our promise a week ago. You didn't even message me, telling me that you couldn't make it. I was worried. Where on earth have you been?”
It’s not a question that I really need to ask. I knew the answer already. But still, I wanted to hear it from his mouth, ensuring that he was fine. But Aiba-chan refuses to talk to me. He keeps saying that he was tired, that he need some rest, and I keep pushing him to his limit.
And then he stops struggling. I saw tears flowing from the corner of his eyes. Slowly, I release my grip on his hand, to notice how his wrist red.
“I didn’t hold you… that tight, did I?” I ask, a little hesitant. I received nothing as a reply. The man below me squeezed his eyes shut as he draws in a deep breath.
Something went wrong last night, and fuck. I’m sure enough that Aiba-chan would never say anything about it.
“Something happened last night, didn’t it? Aiba-chan?” I ask him again once I remove myself from atop of him and take a seat at the empty space of his bed.
“It's nothing,” he replied, still trying to hide the truth. Slowly, he sits up. I could see a painful expression and my instincts told me something bad had happened to my friend last night. Too bad that he has to hide it from me. “Really, it's nothing. I should get going,”
He stands up from his bed and grabs his towel, making his way to the door.
But at the same time, something snapped inside me. What was so bad that he had to hide it from me? We shared almost everything. Even the darkest parts of our lives, we hide nothing from each other. But why must he hide it now?
The words slip through my mouth without me really realizing it. There’s nothing weird by the way he's walking, though his hiss of pain earlier give me an idea that I tried to push away but I just can’t. It shouldn’t happen, but there is no possibility that it won’t happen.
“You're walking funny, Aiba-chan!” I said, making him halt. I know I’ve hit the point.
I stand, anger overpowering me. It wasn’t Sakurai-san that I mad at. It’s Aiba-chan.
“What have you done, Masaki? I thought you learned from before that nothing will work between you two. What are you doing now? Selling your body to him. Just because you love him doesn’t mean you have to be a slut for him!”
And then, I feel pain on my cheek. For the first time in my life, Aiba-chan slaps me
I know I have overstepped my boundary when Aiba-chan raises his hand to me. I was too busy feeling mad at him to notice how my friends’ eyes were red with tears flowing at the corner of his eyes. He’s crying. My best friend is crying and I’m sure it wasn’t because of physical pain. He’s aching inside, and my words earlier were one of the reasons.
“You’ll never understand...” he said, choking on his words. “You will never understand.”
“Aiba-chan…”
“You will never be in my shoes, Nino. You will never understand how it feels to fall in love with a straight man who will never look at you, who will never think of you the same way you think about him! It may be easy for you to ask me to forget my feelings for him. That it will be easy for me to say “Okay, I will,” but do you know how hard is it for me to stop loving him? I've been love-struck since the first day we arrived at this college! Heck, I can’t stop loving him because it happened!”
For the first time in my life, Aiba-chan was yelling at me, venting out his anger to me. For the first time in my life too, I can’t find the words to retort how ridiculous he sounds, or how stupid he is because I know whatever I say I’ll hurt my best friend even more.
Both of us fell silent. Aiba-chan was weeping silently before he slumped to the floor. I rush to his side, but he pushed me away. I could see how miserable he is at the moment. Taking his towel, I carefully wipe his tears. He's already hurt, and I have no intention to hurt him further.
“He was drunk. I- I can’t… God. I was so weak. He came to me, hugged me from behind. I should have struggled to break free... God. Why am I so weak to him?”
I continue wiping his tears, as I listen to him.
“His breath in my ear… I just can’t push him away. It’s what I’ve been longing for, Nino. It’s what I’ve been imagining, to have him embrace me, make love to me. I can’t push him away. My mind was telling me to run, but my heart kept wanting more. I told him to stop. I really did. But he kissed me. That’s all he needs--” He stops, sobbing before continuing again. “That’s all he needs for him to conquer my body. For him to thrust into me harder even though I told him it’s hurt. And then…”
“Stop.” I stop him from continuing. I pull him into my embrace. “That’s enough. You don’t have to continue anymore. That’s enough.”
I could feel how hard he’s trying to control his emotions. He didn’t wail his lung out, but his sobbing could be felt as I hug him tight, rubbing his back to calm him down.
“I’ve became a cheap one, am I?”
What should I have said in response?
***
It didn’t stop there. I know. Even though Aiba-chan didn’t tell me about it, I know. When he came back to the room with red marks on his neck, some bruises on his body, he didn’t need to tell me that it happened again.
And his routine of skipping classes happened again. This time, I’m not going to let him to have ‘extra classes’ with Sakurai-san again.
I hate it, when I see Sakurai-san wearing this smug face. Everytime I saw him in the cafeteria or anywhere in the university. Every single time. As if it was a sign of victory or something.
For god sake, if I ever saw him with that face… I’m going…
“You’ll age faster if you keep frowning, Nino.”
“Shut up, J. You’re such a nuisance,” I replied, munching the fries I bought earlier. I spit it out as it has no taste, cold as a result to my own thoughts earlier.
“Nuisance? To what? Imagining porn in your head?” I sharply glare at him.
I lowered my voice. “Seriously. Just shut up! And never ever said anything about porn in front of Aiba-kun."
“Or else what?”
He’s gonna be sad, is what I wanna say.
“I’m not that sensitive, Nino,” a husky voice from behind startled me. I saw how Jun-kun was throwing Aiba that curious look when he heard the man, but Aiba just laughed him off. “I mean, it’s not that it can make me horny right after I hear the word, right, Nino?”
Both of us fake a laugh. I’m sure we managed to deceive the two as I see them laughing along with Aiba-chan. We fell silent afterwards, munching our food in silence.
I stare at my friend for quite some time and notice dark circles under his eyes. So he’s been crying without me knowing it. Somehow, I sigh. I want him to stop hurting himself. But without him making his first move, I know that he’ll keep feeling hurt by the senior who has not a single feeling for him.
“You’re staring and it's making me feel uncomfortable,” he said without even looking at me.
“Sorry,” I mutter, taking my gaze away from him before creating another silent gap between us again. It didn’t last very long.
“Do you have anything to do after this?”
“Not really,” I replied lazily. “Why?”
“Sakurai-san wants to meet me. And he’s asking you to tag along,” he explained. I frown.
“Excuse me? Pardon?”
“I’m sure you heard me right, Nino. Please don’t make me repeat myself.”
“Of course I heard you. But you’re not making any sense. Sorry I was wrong. He’s not making any sense. What do I have to tag along?”
Slowly, Aiba-can raised his head, his eyes meeting mine. There’s nothing other than tiredness shown in his eyes as he spoke.
“Please don’t ask me. I don’t know. Can you make it or not?” he said, slightly irritated. For a moment, the two of us keep staring at each other. I nod, remembering that I have nothing on my schedule after this.
“Good….” He paused. “Thank you.”
I frown.
****
I tried my very best to not leave the scene. For a moment, I was wondering what is in the man’s head, asking me to came along with my best friend only to show how happy he is with his girlfriend. For god sake, just how much longer was he going to keep this up.
I could feel Aiba-chan take my hand into his, gripping it tightly, maybe a sign of asking for support. I tried my best to not show my anger towards the couple in front of me.
The worst part in the whole situation is the hickey on Aiba-chan’s neck that was clearly shown, and he is not bothering to hide it anymore. Sakurai-san has become the jerk who fucks my best friend one night, only to break his heart the next day by taking his girlfriend along into this meeting.
I start feeling annoyed so I decided to start the conversation.
“Why did you call me as well? I can understand Aiba-kun, but why me?”
The lovers in front of us keep entwining their fingers together as if they’re trying to show how happy their life is at the moment. The grin on the girl’s face makes me want to throw a glass of water on her, wanting her to wake up from the lie she is in right now. it is the same for the man as well. The way he stared at my best friend as if he was determined to break him even further. I’m not sure if there are pieces left to break in my friend's heart the moment Sakurai-san utter his next words.
“We’re getting married.”
God, why are you letting this guy hurt my best friend again?
“Well, congratulations,” I said, ignoring the fact that my friend has now lowered his head, staring at his lap. “I still don’t get the point why as to why I am being drag here just to hear your announcement.”
Sakurai-san paused, biting his lips before it forms an elegant smile again. He turns to the girl next to him, caressing her hair before turn back to us again.
“We’re not going to get married now. I still have a year to finish my studies... I just need something to keep us working until that time.”
“Why don’t you just fuck her, make her bloat with your child. It will help, trust me.” Aiba-chan nudges my arm, forcing me to stop talking again. Though, I could see how Sakurai-san's face started to get tense by my words earlier. Noticing this, Aiba speaks up.
“Maa, maa.. Ninomiya-kun is joking, senpai, Harumi-san,” he knows her name. Aiba-chan… why are you doing this. “It’s ok, you just need something to make it official between the two of you right? A bracelet or a ring?”
How can he stay calm saying all this when he was aching inside? He continues smiling, a genuine one even though only god knows how broken he is. I can’t keep watching my best friend hurt like this that I stand, pulling Aiba-chan’s wrist to make him stand too.
“Surprise me,”
I smirk of annoyed.
“Sure, I’ll help him find one for you.”
“Make sure it’s nice. I don’t mind the price.”
“Sure. Don't worry about it. I’ll ask Ohno-san to help. Jun-kun can choose one too. He really has good sense when it came to accessories.”
“I’m giving this task to the two of you, Ninomiya-san. I don’t need other opinions.” His brows furrow. I chuckled.
“Trust me, Sakurai-san. We’re just commoners. Like what you always said. You don’t want our opinion that much. All you want to do is hurt people’s heart and receive congratulations. You do it well.” I pull my friend away from the table, leaving the lovers alone. But before we really did, I turn back at him.
“You’ll have the bracelet tomorrow. Once again, congratulations to the both of you. Please lead a happy life.”
And then we leave.
We don't speak a word on the way into town. Aiba-chan decided to do it all without involving any one other than the two of us.
“To be honest, I hate seeing you smile right now, because I know you’re faking it,” I said as we make our way to the jeweler store. He chuckled.
“I’m not faking it, Nino. He made it clear now… I was nothing in his eyes, that I’m just his errand boy. I’m fine. I’ll move on. I promised.”
“Aiba-chan…”
“Loving him... doesn’t mean that I have to own him. Not every love has a happy ending, Nino. I’m sure I’ll find one, one day. But with him, this is the end.”
I have nothing in my head as a response. We keep silent until we reach the store, and he chose a few bracelets that looked extremely good.
“I wonder if this will look good on her hand? She has a slender wrist. Too big won’t do her any good, right?”
He kept commenting while searching for the right one, before I stop him.
“Stop, Aiba-chan… Why do you keep hurting yourself, Aiba-chan? Isn’t it enough? After all he did to you, isn’t it time to stop”
I’m not sure if he ever noticed the plead in my voice, but I really am. I want him to stop. Stop all this suffering; I want my friend to have a happy life, to enjoy his university life to the fullest. But bearing all this on his shoulders, I know there’s no possible way for him to have one.
For a moment, he stops choosing the bracelet and he stares directly into my eyes, and then he sighs, continuing to choose the jewelry as he mumbles his answer.
“Because he keeps hurting me too. Until he stops, it will never be enough.”
For the first time in my life, I heard disappointment in his voice. He never shows his emotions, not always. If he did, he must be having such strong feelings. In this case, he must be hurt.
"What did we call it again, having sex without love?” he asked that night when we came back from the town. I could still sense frustration in his voice, no matter how hard he hides it, it's still obviously shown in his voice.
“Fuck,” I take a deep breath, observing my best friend reacting before continuing again. “You’re not making love. You just fuck. For lust. That’s it.”
“Yeah…we fuck for lust. That must be it.”
I never mean to be harsh, but I know what I’ve done when I see a trail of tears on my best friend's cheeks.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
i have an announcement. from the next chapter, the fic won't have any beta. unless anyone want to help me beta the fic, i'll be glad. i'll try my best to do this. sorry for making everyone waiting. thanks for reading~
NEXT
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no subject
Date: 2014-10-03 03:27 am (UTC)Oh damn it sho why do you have to be such an ass!
I want to hug aiba and want him to be strong enough to move on already (if sho is just messing with him) and nino really is concerned about him... I hope he'll show aiba how much he loves his bestfriend.
Auugh, I don't know what to think anymore... The angst is just too much, but i still like it.
Hope to read the next chapter!:D
I'd like to help, but english is not my first language and not that great, so i guess i can't really help you with the editing. but no worries! i'll continue reading your fics, whether you have or have not a beta reader. <3
Thanks and we'll be waiting for your update~ :)
no subject
Date: 2014-10-03 08:14 am (UTC)awww.. you're so sweet. i'm truly appreciate it *cries* thanks a lot for reading this story with so many flaws. thanks for the comment too :))
no subject
Date: 2014-10-03 07:24 am (UTC)I can't wait to read the continuation! :)
* As for the beta if you haven't found anyone else, I'd gladly do it! You can pm me! :)
no subject
Date: 2014-10-03 08:16 am (UTC)you can do it??? but my writing for this one has so many flaws... you've been warned.. XD eto, how should i send my work to you? email?
between thanks for reading and commenting. and thanks in advance
no subject
Date: 2014-10-03 08:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-03 09:19 am (UTC)Uwaaa, feels like punching Sho there! (if you know what I mean) :(
Nino such a good friend.. I wonder if that kind of friend exist :O
Beta'ed or not, I'd love to read this!! Thanks for updating the story :D
no subject
Date: 2014-10-05 01:10 pm (UTC)thanks for commenting and reading this :)
no subject
Date: 2014-10-05 03:28 pm (UTC)I'll patiently wait for the next update ~ :DD
Ganbatte kudasai ne :DDD
no subject
Date: 2014-10-03 10:50 am (UTC)Anyhow, so happy you finally are back on this story. I am looking forward to next week <3
no subject
Date: 2014-10-05 01:16 pm (UTC)-.-"
yup yup. i'm back. i'm here to try to finish up the fic. yosh!! XD
thanks a lot for reading and commenting :))
no subject
Date: 2014-10-04 06:40 pm (UTC)Dont know how many times i need to kick sho ==
Thank you as always :D!
no subject
Date: 2014-10-05 01:17 pm (UTC)thanks dear for reading and commenting XD