[Oneshot] Connectors - Ohmiya
Jun. 25th, 2016 06:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ica_90Title: [Oneshot] Connectors
Author: ica_90
Beta by:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
arimi_skywalker <3 thank you <3
Pairing: [main] Ohmiya, [Side]Sakumoto, AibaxKazama,( one sided) Sakumiya and NinoxKazama, mentioned of Yama and Kaze Friendship
Genre: Drama, Romance, Fluff, Friendship, College AU
Summary: Nino labelled himself as Nokia, “Connecting People”. He wasn’t cursed but he was really unlucky when it comes to love. When all the guys he had a crush on ended up becoming his best friend’s lover, he couldn’t do anything but let them go. However, he wished someone would break the series of heartbreaks he had been experiencing for years. And there was Ohno. Except, he couldn’t bring himself to hope.
Disclaimer: I don’t own them. Writing fic now is my guilty pleasure. Just for some silly entertainment and that’s the only benefit i got. Hope everyone too (^.^)v
It was when it happened for the third time that Nino started labelling himself as Nokia. “Connecting people”, just like the famous brand.
He didn’t know when it went wrong but every single guy he had a crush on would end up being his friends’, best friends’, cousins’ or sister’s boyfriend. Sucks, doesn’t it? Every time Nino met a guy and got close to him while having a good time together, the guy ended up interested in someone close to Nino instead, breaking their happy moment.
Nino thought his bad luck would be over once he entered college but he was wrong.
Jun and Aiba were his classmates since middle school. Entering college with them didn’t sound like a bad idea at all. They were nice, even when sometimes he couldn’t stand Jun’s particular things that he found it ridiculous or Aiba’s clumsiness and stupid jokes. Still, thanks to those two, he met his next two crushes.
Sakurai Sho and Kazama Shunsuke.
Sakurai Sho was their senior by a year. Nino couldn’t blame himself for developing a crush over him when everyone described Sho as a perfect prince. He had the looks. He came from a family with a flawless reputation. He was an overachiever in every subject (except sports). In other words, he had everything.
The first time Nino met Sakurai was on his first day in university. Luckily, Sakurai was assigned as his mentor throughout the first term, which required them to spend a lot of time together. Not that Nino would complain, anyway.
Everything went well for the first month. Sakurai became ‘Sho’ and Nino noticed they were fine together. That guy was perfectionist, yeah; he was very picky about time and would be the one arranging Nino’s schedule every week, but Nino didn’t really mind them.
On the second month, Nino realized that he might have a little crush on his mentor. Or maybe it was a major crush. His heart beat crazily every time their distance shortened and Nino’s face reddened whenever Sho invited him for lunch or dinner, or complimented his outfit. He knew he was acting like a silly girl falling in love with their senior, but he couldn’t help it. The little moments shared with Sakurai Sho would make him giggle every time he thought about them.
He had fallen in love with him.
For months, he wondered if Sho could like him too. After all, being gay wasn’t normal to some people and he didn’t even know if Sho liked guys.
By the end of the term, he finally got his answer. But it was the end of the beginning.
He still wonders why he allowed Jun to tag along with him when he returned that reference book he had borrowed from Sho. He did notice the look on Sho’s face when he saw Jun for the first time and could swear he saw his senior experiencing love at first sight. Nino could hear his own heart breaking but still, he kept telling himself he could be wrong.
For a few days, he wished Sho was straight. God damn it! Having his crush falling in love with his best friend was even more painful than being rejected. But on the sixth day, his hopes crushed when he got a message from Sho.
“That guy who tagged along with you last time. Matsumoto Jun, am I right? May I have his number, his e-mail address or anything else that allows me to get in touch with him?”
Nino sighed. He thought about ignoring the message but he knew that Sho would ask him about it next time they met, so he sent Jun’s contact details to him, including his SNS.
A few days later, Jun told him that Sho had asked him to hang out together, and just a week later they became lovers.
That was the end of his first crush in the college.
*
Things didn’t go better with Kazama.
Nino met him while having lunch with Jun and Aiba. Looking back, he wondered why he had fallen in love with him when he knew his hopes would end up crushed, as usual.
When they met for the first time, Nino actually spilled a bowl of soup on Kazama. There was an awkward silence around them and Nino’s hands started shaking when he saw the upset look on the man's face.
Nino thought he was about to punch him, but Kazama smiled instead.
”I am not a monster, Mr.-”, Kazama said.
“Nino.” Nino stuttered right away and Kazama couldn’t help laughing.
“Nino, huh? OK.” His senior smiled again. “Anyway, Nino, I'm in hurry. Maybe we can meet again soon.”
Kazama didn't wait for a reply but his words seemed to build Nino’s hopes up. He bowed politely as his senior walked away with a smile on his lips.
Nino should have known he didn’t stand a chance when he realized the smile wasn't actually for him. It was for Aiba, who was eating his lunch, unaware of his surroundings.
*
Nino believed in destiny. That’s why every time he was unlucky with his crushes, he repeated to himself that he just hadn't met his destined person yet. After all, it's not that easy to find someone who openly says they’re gay.
For years, he accompanied Jun or Aiba when they invited him and watched their relationships progressing while he still wished to find his destined one. But as time passed, Nino started to lose his hopes. He started to lose interest in love or the idea of finding a partner, and started treating everyone as a friend. However, sometimes, when he saw a lovey-dovey couple, he couldn’t help feeling a little bitter.
“Seriously, Nino, you shouldn't act bitterly about this when you didn't even try to find a solution,” Jun said one night after Nino suddenly spoke about his trouble.
“I did try, J. Maybe you forgot that two of my ‘efforts’ ended up being yours and Aiba's partners. So, I kind of gave up now.”
Jun sighed as he heard his friend’s answer. He knew his roommate was discouraged by all his failed attempts but he thought that one more try wouldn’t hurt anyone. He just wanted Nino to socialize a little bit more instead of staying in his room, playing videogames and whining about his lonely fate.
Jun walked to his desk and grabbed something from his bag. Nino quickly recognized it was a pamphlet. He shook his head, protesting even before Jun had the chance to explain his idea.
“No. Not another club, Matsumoto-“
“I promise it doesn’t involve any physical activity this time-“, Jun assured, approaching his friend.
“That’s what you said last time. And I ended up in a football club.” Nino retorted.
“That was because you went to the wrong place. I swear I suggested an IT club.”Jun replied, defending himself.
He could hear Nino clicking his tongue in annoyance but he thrust the pamphlet into his friend’s hand. That was when Jun felt proud of himself as a friend, watching that widen eyes on Nino’s face.
“Music club. Hum. Interesting.” Nino responded, flipping through the pamphlet, reading carefully, looking for more information.
It only advertised an open audition, including the date, time and venue. But that was all.
“What about the instructor?” he asked, teasing Jun with a grin on his face. “I’ll only apply if the instructor is a hot guy.”
Jun only glared at him.
*
The day of the audition, Nino was there.
Normally, he didn’t have the courage to stand in front of a lot of people but this was something he really liked, so he walked on stage and played the piano while beautifully singing the lyrics. It wasn’t a flawless performance, as his voice was shaking due to the nervous, but the audience seemed to like it. They clapped and a guy even complimented him when he went down the stage.
“That was so beautiful,” he said, handing Nino a form.
“Thanks.”, Nino smugly replied.
“Anyway-” The guy continued, his eyes brightened up by the smile on his lips. “You’ve been accepted into the club. Congrats.”
Nino couldn’t believe his luck. He definitely couldn’t. But when he looked down to his hand and saw the form to formally apply as a member of the Music club, a smile formed on his lips.
And when he looked up to the guy who had handed him the form, he was astonished.
*
“Ohno Satoshi.” Jun said as Aiba handed Nino a printed version of Ohno Satoshi’s Facebook profile.
Reluctantly, Nino accepted it and sat on the bed, leaving space for his two best friends to sit next to him.
“I asked Sho if he knew anything about him. I’m sorry I couldn’t get much information from him. You know how Sho reacts every time I ask about other guys.” Nino scoffed at Jun’s words.
“But anyway-” Jun continued. “He’s Sho’s senior by a year. He’s pretty active in sculpturing and won a few awards for the university. Also, he’s an active singer.”
“Overall, he’s talented,” Aiba summarized.
“He is talented.” Nino repeated, holding onto his words.
Somehow, both Aiba and Jun raised their eyebrows, amusedly.
“Do you think you’ll have a chance?” Aiba asked, making Nino frown.
He couldn’t understand what Aiba was actually trying to say.
“What chance? I was accepted into the music club, so-“
“I’m not talking about the music club, idiot.” Aiba cut him, smacking him hard on his head. “I mean if you think you’ll have a chance with him”
Nino rolled his eyes.
*
One thing that made Nino a little pessimistic about having a chance with Ohno was that chances for meeting him again were quite low. Club activities didn’t really help, since he was assigned with the beginners while Ohno already had his own group. A group full of scary-looking members.
They never talked again since the audition but sometimes they met each other’s eyes during the practice session, and they exchanged a shy smile.
Nino had no hopes, though. He couldn’t compare himself to all those beautiful girls who were totally crazy about Ohno.
At first glance, Ohno was someone very normal. Sometimes, Nino wondered what was inside his mind when they were idle, as Ohno looked absent-minded. But he totally changed when he went on stage. His appearance became astonishing and when he started singing, it was breathtaking. No wonder those girls were head over heels about him.
But who was him to question his fate?
It was a sunny morning when he bumped into Ohno in the library. His heart skipped a beat when he saw him but then, Ohno talked to him and nothing could beat that moment.
“Ninomiya?”
Nino’s eyes widened in surprise.
“You know me?” he asked. Ohno nodded.
“Of course I do. Everyone talks about you. The next Ohno Satoshi, they say.” Ohno replied as he helped Nino picking his book. “I have to disagree with them, though”
“Excuse me?” Nino almost took that as an offence. But then Ohno clarified.
“You’re unique in your own way. We don’t need another Ohno Satoshi. We need a Ninomiya Kazunari”
Nino couldn’t help to blush at Ohno’s words.
And it started like that.
He started to get close to Ohno. Club activities were fun, but the best thing was the collaborations he did with Ohno’s group. At first glance, those senior did look scary but the moment he got to know them better, Nino knew he was wrong. They were nice, maybe a little too loud sometimes.
By joining the group, Nino got the chance to learn more as his relationship with Ohno developed, arising expectations in his heart. Great expectations, since they didn’t meet only during club activities. Ever since that day, Nino ran into Ohno almost everywhere. Not that he complained though, especially because Ohno would happily greet him or even treat him to a drink or food.
Nino didn’t want to get his hopes up. Every time he thought about it, he started to feel this uneasiness in his stomach. He didn’t want to admit that he loved Ohno but he couldn’t deny he actually got his hopes up, hoping his senior would be the one breaking his bad luck in love.
Being rejected hurt. Being rejected and changed for your best friend hurt even deeper. So, Nino decided to put some distance between him and Ohno.
*
“Sakurai is a jerk.” Jun suddenly said, heaving a sigh as he leaned back on his chair. Nino turned around to look at his friend, who was sitting behind him at the study area they had in their room. He could see Aiba frowning as he heard Jun’s words.
Nino knew Jun was going through a bad time in his relationship with Sakurai. Unlike Kazama, who let Aiba enjoy his leisure time with his friends, Sakurai was a little overprotective. Not that Nino was taking his side but Jun was the attention of all the girls in campus, so he could understand why Sakurai acted that way. Sometimes, though, it caused more damage than expected.
“What is it this time?” Nino asked, wondering if his tone was right. He thought it was okay when Jun didn’t glare at him.
“I mentioned that I asked him about Ohno last time, right?” Nino nodded. “Well, he told me that Ohno asked him about me.”
Suddenly, Nino felt his heart shrinking. Was this the end of his hopes?
“Well, Sho said that Ohno actually asked about the three of us before asking for my phone number-”
Nino heard his heart breaking.
“-and Sho refused to give it to him. But the thing is that, instead of getting mad at him, he got mad at me. He didn’t yell but he told me to avoid Ohno as much as I can. And then, he acted grumpy all day long-“
Nino didn’t really hear what Jun was saying for the next few minutes. His mind was busy thinking about if it would be better for him to stop expecting now. Of course, giving up Ohno for Jun’s sake would be stupid, as Jun already had Sakurai, but judging from the way his friend talked about his partner, Nino was sure that Ohno would be good for him if they ended up together.
“Nino-” Aiba’s voice startled him. Nino raised his eyebrows. “You should make a move.”
“Yeah, sure, Aiba.” He thought. Even if Aiba didn’t say anything, he was determined to make a move.
He would stay away from Ohno.
*
Nino tried to remind himself that it wasn’t Ohno’s fault. Actually, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Falling in love is out of anyone’s control. It’s a matter of feelings and fate, maybe. In Nino’s case, his feelings made him fall in love with Ohno but it wasn’t his fate to end up with him.
He tried his best to avoid his senior, including eye contact. Even when Matsuoka, one of the senior in Ohno’s group, invited him for their usual collaboration, Nino rejected him politely. Staying in the same room as Ohno made him suffocated, so he didn’t even want to imagine how it would feel standing just a few centimetres away from him.
Nino couldn’t stop wondering why he had to sacrifice himself for someone else. Why didn’t he fight for the one he loved? Wasn’t he tired of being a connector between two people? Questions kept piling up in his head, yet he couldn’t find an answer to any of them, except one; yes, he was tired being a connector. After all, that was the reason why he decided to put some distance between him and Ohno.
But Ohno didn’t make it easy.
Nino thought he was alone in the music room and decided to play a song he had composed for his group. As he played the piano, his voice echoed across the room, full of emotion, creating a beautiful sound that could reach everyone’s heart.
He kept singing until the end, when he heard someone clapping behind him. He turned around and felt the blood rushing through his veins when he saw who the person standing there was, so he quickly turned away.
“That was beautiful; the song and your voice.” Ohno commented. Nino shrugged.
“Thanks.” He concisely replied and placed his scores into his bag, getting ready to leave the room.
“Maybe you can perform it for us in our next practice lesson?” Ohno insisted.
“Maybe. It’s still missing the final touches.”
“Do you need help with that?”
“No. Thank you. Sorry, Ohno. I have to go now. See you next time.”
Nino almost ran away from the room. Ohno was showing interest in a conversation with him but Nino refused to have it. According to his previous experiences, this was the moment when his love interest would say they had a crush on someone close to him, and he didn’t want to live that with Ohno. Not now. He wasn’t ready.
But before he could reach the door, Ohno spoke again.
“Why are you avoiding me, Nino?” He said.
Nino stopped on his tracks.
“I’m not-“
“Look at me, then-“ Ohno asked as he approached Nino. Nino did as he was told.
Just when Ohno stopped in front of him, he spoke again.
“You’ve been avoiding any kind of eye contact with me. You don’t want to join our collaborations anymore. Every time we happen to bump into each other, you quickly turn into the opposite direction. I was wondering if I did anything wrong”
Nino frowned. He could feel the honesty in his senior’s question, but at the same time he couldn’t help having his doubts. Ohno had asked Sho about Jun and that made him shiver in sadness. Why was Ohno still trying to have a conversation with him when his real interest was Jun?
Nino hated to think about that. He felt wasted. He felt used. Even though he had dealt with the same situation many times in the past, he would never get used to it. The pain was still the same, maybe even worst this time.
“No. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was me. Sorry. I need to go.”
Nino turned around, ready to leave. He didn’t want to prolong the conversation since his experience taught him that pleasant conversations could turn into painful moments.
Then, it happened so fast that Nino couldn’t understand what was going on. Suddenly, a hand grabbed his arm, forcing him to turn around only to fall into Ohno’s embrace. He could hear the other man’s heartbeat and his cheeks blushed as Ohno pulled him close to look at him. It was like one of those magical moments in the fairytales he read. In his head, he could even hear the chime of a bell when their faces got closer. He could feel the warmth of Ohno’s breath on his face as he anticipated a kiss that never happened, because Ohno stopped, pushing him away.
“Nino-“
No. Please don’t say what I’ve been afraid to hear all this time.
“Could I have-“
“Jun’s number?” was what Nino had thought.
“-your number?” Ohno finished his sentence.
Nino was speechless for a second but he couldn’t believe his ears, so he quickly typed his friend’s number in Ohno’s cell phone and before he ran away.
*
He waited for five hours.
When Jun’s phone finally rang, Nino held his breath as he slowly put on his earphones, since he refused to hear any conversation between Ohno and Jun
For god’s sake, he couldn’t bear the idea of being a connector again. Yes, Ohno asked for his number, but he couldn’t believe that magical moment would ever happen again. Otherwise, why on earth would have Ohno asked Sho about Jun?
Just before he had the chance to get lost in his own thoughts, Nino felt his earphone being pulled off. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Jun’s furious face, holding his phone on his right hand.
“What kind of game are you trying to play, Nino?” Jun’s voice sounded dangerously low and annoyed.
“What? I’m not-”
“Just because I said that Sho is a pain in the ass, doesn’t mean I want to change him for someone new. Especially, someone you love!”
“I-”
“Care to explain why he got my number instead of yours?”
“He-”
“He asked for your number, for god’s sake! After all we did, why are you trying to spoil everything?”
Jun didn’t let him to talk. Nino knew his friend was enraged and he understood why. The only thing he didn’t understand was Jun’s last statement but a knock on the door interrupted them before he could ask.
Nino was expecting Aiba to enter the room, forcing Jun to forget about the topic. He never thought it would be Ohno the one standing by his door, wearing a disappointed gesture on his face, even when he still looked so calm.
“Nino-” Ohno called him out, startling him. “It’s a lovely night. Would you like to go out for a walk with me?”
Nino blinked bewildered. He remained silent, freezing in his chair. Seeing he didn’t react, Ohno decided to take the initiative.
“Just to make sure you won’t push me to Matsumoto again-” He said, grabbing Nino’s hand and dragging him out of the room.
*
They walked along the lake by the college, enjoying the night breeze and each other’s warmth as they walked side by side. None of them said a word, they just enjoyed each other’s company.
Half an hour had passed when they finally took a seat in one of the benches by the shore. Still, none of them said a word.
Questions started to revolve inside Nino’s head. Was Ohno mad? Why were they at the lake? Was Ohno in love with him? The last question sent a rush of blood to Nino’s face, making him feel suffocated because the only possible answer was no. No, Ohno didn’t love him.
“Does it hurt that much?” Ohno asked, cutting Nino’s thoughts.
“Excuse me?”
“Being rejected. Does it hurt?”
“Well, I’ve never been rejected before. I can’t say I experienced it.” Nino replied, trying to act calmly.
“Why not?
“Because I’ve never confessed to anyone. I never got my chance.” Nino said, biting his lip. “I’ve fallen in love a few times but before I could say anything, my crushes asked me about my sister, cousins, friends or best friends. I’m just a connector.”
Nino frowned when he saw a smile forming in Ohno’s lips. It was dark but a lamp at the park allowed him to feel their eyes meeting and they stared at each other for a brief moment, until Nino decided to look away. He was glad that the darkness of the night hid the blush on his cheeks, caused by their eye contact.
“Well, in my case-” Ohno spoke again. “-was I?”
“Huh?” Nino asked, confused.
“I asked for this guy’s number but he gave me his friend’s number instead. I wonder…”
Ohno left his words hanging. He wasn’t really sure if Nino actually understood what he was trying to say. Deep inside, he wished he did.
“I guess that guy is an idiot. He had a chance but he totally spoiled it.”
“I wonder why?” Ohno asked.
“Maybe because he was afraid” Nino replied.
“Afraid of what?”
“Of living the same situation he lived in the past.” Nino clarified.
Ohno couldn’t help a sigh.
He had heard about Nino’s bad luck in love from Aiba and Jun when the three of them happened to have lunch together with Kazama and Sakurai. Ohno wasn’t the only one shocked about this, Kazama and Sakurai were flabbergasted.
“He talked about it is as if he were cursed,” Aiba said, after explaining the whole story. Three pairs of eyes were locked on him as he continued talking. “At this point, I’m sure he’s had enough.”
“Giving up?” Sakurai asked. Aiba nodded in response, making the man let out a long sigh.
“Say, Masaki-” Kazama spoke after listening to Aiba’s story. “-was I... I mean... were we Nino’s interest at some point?” he asked, pointing to Sakurai and himself. Once again, Aiba nodded.
Aiba didn’t mean to make them feel guilty but there was no point in hiding the truth now that they had heard the whole story. However, as hard as Kazama and Sakurai tried to push the thought away, they couldn’t, so they ended up turning to Ohno.
“You have to do something about this.” Sho began. “Stop being a coward.”
“But-” Ohno tried to protest, but Aiba cut him off.
“Trust me, Ohno. Nino would be glad if you asked him out. He’s been waiting for too long and I know how big his crush on you is, even when he never speaks about it and refuses to admit it whenever we ask.”
“What should I do?” Ohno asked. “He’s been avoiding me with all his might. I don’t understand why”
Jun chuckled. “Maybe he was jealous.”
Ohno frowned at those words, making Jun chuckle again. “But believe me, Ohno. We’d known Nino for years. Asking him out or maybe just for his phone number will do. He may look like a complicated person, but seriously, he’s not complicated at all.”
So Ohno did as they said.
But when he called Nino, it was Jun who answered the phone.
He was mad. He felt disappointed after all his efforts but he couldn’t really blame Nino because he was like Ohno himself; just a coward, too afraid to confess his feelings. Perhaps, both of them were afraid of being rejected.
It hurt too much. He thought that Nino was rejecting him. But then, Nino was right. How could someone get rejected if they didn’t confess in the first place?
“You know, Nino. I didn’t know when it started. But every time he appeared in my dreams, I woke up feeling happy,” Ohno said. His eyes were fixed on the lake, staring at the beautiful scenery.
“But you looked happy every day.” Nino commented. His tone showed a disbelief that made Ohno chuckled.
“I may be exaggerating. But he appeared every night in my dreams.” Ohno replied. “In those dreams, he was smiling. He played the piano and I could hear his lovely voice, then I reached out and he held it.”
He slowly turned to Nino. Their eyes met again as Ohno started to speak. “I wonder why I can’t do the same when I’m awake”
In the darkness, Nino could feel Ohno’s breath, knowing their faces were really close to each other’s. Ohno gently squeezed his hand and lingered his fingers on Nino's palm before wrapping him softly in his arms. Nino's heart was racing inside his chest as he wondered if the magical moment he’d been waiting for would finally come.
He knew he loved Ohno. He knew that if he had a chance with him, he would try to love again. He knew that if that happened, he would stop worrying about the past that had hurt him so badly. So, when Ohno brushed his lips against his, Nino allowed him to do it.
“Let me be the one, Kazu,” Ohno breathed against his skin. “Let me be the one for you.”
Nino pulled him softly, chuckling.
“Is this going to happen?” he asked.
He could barely see Ohno nodding in the darkness. Still, he continued.
“If this is going to happen, it’ll be my first kiss. Be warned, you may be disappointed,” he giggled.
“Well, then,-” Ohno replied, his lips forming a smile as he leaned in, pulled Nino close for a kiss. “-this is such an honour.”
*
OMAKE
When they saw Nino walking in their room, wearing a wide smile on his face, Aiba and Jun couldn’t help smiling as well.
“Ohno told me.” Nino said once he flopped on his bed, his heart racing with happiness as he remembered what he had just lived with Ohno. “You guys told him about my past.”
“Aren’t you going to thank us?” Jun smirked.
Nino shrugged, sighing when he saw the grin on his best friends’ face. “Well, thank you for being my connectors this time”
Aiba and Jun burst into laughter as they watched Nino blushing at his own words.
--------------------------------------------end---------------------------------------------------------------------
comments and critics are welcome :)
Author: ica_90
Beta by:
arimi_skywalker <3 thank you <3Pairing: [main] Ohmiya, [Side]Sakumoto, AibaxKazama,( one sided) Sakumiya and NinoxKazama, mentioned of Yama and Kaze Friendship
Genre: Drama, Romance, Fluff, Friendship, College AU
Summary: Nino labelled himself as Nokia, “Connecting People”. He wasn’t cursed but he was really unlucky when it comes to love. When all the guys he had a crush on ended up becoming his best friend’s lover, he couldn’t do anything but let them go. However, he wished someone would break the series of heartbreaks he had been experiencing for years. And there was Ohno. Except, he couldn’t bring himself to hope.
Disclaimer: I don’t own them. Writing fic now is my guilty pleasure. Just for some silly entertainment and that’s the only benefit i got. Hope everyone too (^.^)v
It was when it happened for the third time that Nino started labelling himself as Nokia. “Connecting people”, just like the famous brand.
He didn’t know when it went wrong but every single guy he had a crush on would end up being his friends’, best friends’, cousins’ or sister’s boyfriend. Sucks, doesn’t it? Every time Nino met a guy and got close to him while having a good time together, the guy ended up interested in someone close to Nino instead, breaking their happy moment.
Nino thought his bad luck would be over once he entered college but he was wrong.
Jun and Aiba were his classmates since middle school. Entering college with them didn’t sound like a bad idea at all. They were nice, even when sometimes he couldn’t stand Jun’s particular things that he found it ridiculous or Aiba’s clumsiness and stupid jokes. Still, thanks to those two, he met his next two crushes.
Sakurai Sho and Kazama Shunsuke.
Sakurai Sho was their senior by a year. Nino couldn’t blame himself for developing a crush over him when everyone described Sho as a perfect prince. He had the looks. He came from a family with a flawless reputation. He was an overachiever in every subject (except sports). In other words, he had everything.
The first time Nino met Sakurai was on his first day in university. Luckily, Sakurai was assigned as his mentor throughout the first term, which required them to spend a lot of time together. Not that Nino would complain, anyway.
Everything went well for the first month. Sakurai became ‘Sho’ and Nino noticed they were fine together. That guy was perfectionist, yeah; he was very picky about time and would be the one arranging Nino’s schedule every week, but Nino didn’t really mind them.
On the second month, Nino realized that he might have a little crush on his mentor. Or maybe it was a major crush. His heart beat crazily every time their distance shortened and Nino’s face reddened whenever Sho invited him for lunch or dinner, or complimented his outfit. He knew he was acting like a silly girl falling in love with their senior, but he couldn’t help it. The little moments shared with Sakurai Sho would make him giggle every time he thought about them.
He had fallen in love with him.
For months, he wondered if Sho could like him too. After all, being gay wasn’t normal to some people and he didn’t even know if Sho liked guys.
By the end of the term, he finally got his answer. But it was the end of the beginning.
He still wonders why he allowed Jun to tag along with him when he returned that reference book he had borrowed from Sho. He did notice the look on Sho’s face when he saw Jun for the first time and could swear he saw his senior experiencing love at first sight. Nino could hear his own heart breaking but still, he kept telling himself he could be wrong.
For a few days, he wished Sho was straight. God damn it! Having his crush falling in love with his best friend was even more painful than being rejected. But on the sixth day, his hopes crushed when he got a message from Sho.
“That guy who tagged along with you last time. Matsumoto Jun, am I right? May I have his number, his e-mail address or anything else that allows me to get in touch with him?”
Nino sighed. He thought about ignoring the message but he knew that Sho would ask him about it next time they met, so he sent Jun’s contact details to him, including his SNS.
A few days later, Jun told him that Sho had asked him to hang out together, and just a week later they became lovers.
That was the end of his first crush in the college.
*
Things didn’t go better with Kazama.
Nino met him while having lunch with Jun and Aiba. Looking back, he wondered why he had fallen in love with him when he knew his hopes would end up crushed, as usual.
When they met for the first time, Nino actually spilled a bowl of soup on Kazama. There was an awkward silence around them and Nino’s hands started shaking when he saw the upset look on the man's face.
Nino thought he was about to punch him, but Kazama smiled instead.
”I am not a monster, Mr.-”, Kazama said.
“Nino.” Nino stuttered right away and Kazama couldn’t help laughing.
“Nino, huh? OK.” His senior smiled again. “Anyway, Nino, I'm in hurry. Maybe we can meet again soon.”
Kazama didn't wait for a reply but his words seemed to build Nino’s hopes up. He bowed politely as his senior walked away with a smile on his lips.
Nino should have known he didn’t stand a chance when he realized the smile wasn't actually for him. It was for Aiba, who was eating his lunch, unaware of his surroundings.
*
Nino believed in destiny. That’s why every time he was unlucky with his crushes, he repeated to himself that he just hadn't met his destined person yet. After all, it's not that easy to find someone who openly says they’re gay.
For years, he accompanied Jun or Aiba when they invited him and watched their relationships progressing while he still wished to find his destined one. But as time passed, Nino started to lose his hopes. He started to lose interest in love or the idea of finding a partner, and started treating everyone as a friend. However, sometimes, when he saw a lovey-dovey couple, he couldn’t help feeling a little bitter.
“Seriously, Nino, you shouldn't act bitterly about this when you didn't even try to find a solution,” Jun said one night after Nino suddenly spoke about his trouble.
“I did try, J. Maybe you forgot that two of my ‘efforts’ ended up being yours and Aiba's partners. So, I kind of gave up now.”
Jun sighed as he heard his friend’s answer. He knew his roommate was discouraged by all his failed attempts but he thought that one more try wouldn’t hurt anyone. He just wanted Nino to socialize a little bit more instead of staying in his room, playing videogames and whining about his lonely fate.
Jun walked to his desk and grabbed something from his bag. Nino quickly recognized it was a pamphlet. He shook his head, protesting even before Jun had the chance to explain his idea.
“No. Not another club, Matsumoto-“
“I promise it doesn’t involve any physical activity this time-“, Jun assured, approaching his friend.
“That’s what you said last time. And I ended up in a football club.” Nino retorted.
“That was because you went to the wrong place. I swear I suggested an IT club.”Jun replied, defending himself.
He could hear Nino clicking his tongue in annoyance but he thrust the pamphlet into his friend’s hand. That was when Jun felt proud of himself as a friend, watching that widen eyes on Nino’s face.
“Music club. Hum. Interesting.” Nino responded, flipping through the pamphlet, reading carefully, looking for more information.
It only advertised an open audition, including the date, time and venue. But that was all.
“What about the instructor?” he asked, teasing Jun with a grin on his face. “I’ll only apply if the instructor is a hot guy.”
Jun only glared at him.
*
The day of the audition, Nino was there.
Normally, he didn’t have the courage to stand in front of a lot of people but this was something he really liked, so he walked on stage and played the piano while beautifully singing the lyrics. It wasn’t a flawless performance, as his voice was shaking due to the nervous, but the audience seemed to like it. They clapped and a guy even complimented him when he went down the stage.
“That was so beautiful,” he said, handing Nino a form.
“Thanks.”, Nino smugly replied.
“Anyway-” The guy continued, his eyes brightened up by the smile on his lips. “You’ve been accepted into the club. Congrats.”
Nino couldn’t believe his luck. He definitely couldn’t. But when he looked down to his hand and saw the form to formally apply as a member of the Music club, a smile formed on his lips.
And when he looked up to the guy who had handed him the form, he was astonished.
*
“Ohno Satoshi.” Jun said as Aiba handed Nino a printed version of Ohno Satoshi’s Facebook profile.
Reluctantly, Nino accepted it and sat on the bed, leaving space for his two best friends to sit next to him.
“I asked Sho if he knew anything about him. I’m sorry I couldn’t get much information from him. You know how Sho reacts every time I ask about other guys.” Nino scoffed at Jun’s words.
“But anyway-” Jun continued. “He’s Sho’s senior by a year. He’s pretty active in sculpturing and won a few awards for the university. Also, he’s an active singer.”
“Overall, he’s talented,” Aiba summarized.
“He is talented.” Nino repeated, holding onto his words.
Somehow, both Aiba and Jun raised their eyebrows, amusedly.
“Do you think you’ll have a chance?” Aiba asked, making Nino frown.
He couldn’t understand what Aiba was actually trying to say.
“What chance? I was accepted into the music club, so-“
“I’m not talking about the music club, idiot.” Aiba cut him, smacking him hard on his head. “I mean if you think you’ll have a chance with him”
Nino rolled his eyes.
*
One thing that made Nino a little pessimistic about having a chance with Ohno was that chances for meeting him again were quite low. Club activities didn’t really help, since he was assigned with the beginners while Ohno already had his own group. A group full of scary-looking members.
They never talked again since the audition but sometimes they met each other’s eyes during the practice session, and they exchanged a shy smile.
Nino had no hopes, though. He couldn’t compare himself to all those beautiful girls who were totally crazy about Ohno.
At first glance, Ohno was someone very normal. Sometimes, Nino wondered what was inside his mind when they were idle, as Ohno looked absent-minded. But he totally changed when he went on stage. His appearance became astonishing and when he started singing, it was breathtaking. No wonder those girls were head over heels about him.
But who was him to question his fate?
It was a sunny morning when he bumped into Ohno in the library. His heart skipped a beat when he saw him but then, Ohno talked to him and nothing could beat that moment.
“Ninomiya?”
Nino’s eyes widened in surprise.
“You know me?” he asked. Ohno nodded.
“Of course I do. Everyone talks about you. The next Ohno Satoshi, they say.” Ohno replied as he helped Nino picking his book. “I have to disagree with them, though”
“Excuse me?” Nino almost took that as an offence. But then Ohno clarified.
“You’re unique in your own way. We don’t need another Ohno Satoshi. We need a Ninomiya Kazunari”
Nino couldn’t help to blush at Ohno’s words.
And it started like that.
He started to get close to Ohno. Club activities were fun, but the best thing was the collaborations he did with Ohno’s group. At first glance, those senior did look scary but the moment he got to know them better, Nino knew he was wrong. They were nice, maybe a little too loud sometimes.
By joining the group, Nino got the chance to learn more as his relationship with Ohno developed, arising expectations in his heart. Great expectations, since they didn’t meet only during club activities. Ever since that day, Nino ran into Ohno almost everywhere. Not that he complained though, especially because Ohno would happily greet him or even treat him to a drink or food.
Nino didn’t want to get his hopes up. Every time he thought about it, he started to feel this uneasiness in his stomach. He didn’t want to admit that he loved Ohno but he couldn’t deny he actually got his hopes up, hoping his senior would be the one breaking his bad luck in love.
Being rejected hurt. Being rejected and changed for your best friend hurt even deeper. So, Nino decided to put some distance between him and Ohno.
*
“Sakurai is a jerk.” Jun suddenly said, heaving a sigh as he leaned back on his chair. Nino turned around to look at his friend, who was sitting behind him at the study area they had in their room. He could see Aiba frowning as he heard Jun’s words.
Nino knew Jun was going through a bad time in his relationship with Sakurai. Unlike Kazama, who let Aiba enjoy his leisure time with his friends, Sakurai was a little overprotective. Not that Nino was taking his side but Jun was the attention of all the girls in campus, so he could understand why Sakurai acted that way. Sometimes, though, it caused more damage than expected.
“What is it this time?” Nino asked, wondering if his tone was right. He thought it was okay when Jun didn’t glare at him.
“I mentioned that I asked him about Ohno last time, right?” Nino nodded. “Well, he told me that Ohno asked him about me.”
Suddenly, Nino felt his heart shrinking. Was this the end of his hopes?
“Well, Sho said that Ohno actually asked about the three of us before asking for my phone number-”
Nino heard his heart breaking.
“-and Sho refused to give it to him. But the thing is that, instead of getting mad at him, he got mad at me. He didn’t yell but he told me to avoid Ohno as much as I can. And then, he acted grumpy all day long-“
Nino didn’t really hear what Jun was saying for the next few minutes. His mind was busy thinking about if it would be better for him to stop expecting now. Of course, giving up Ohno for Jun’s sake would be stupid, as Jun already had Sakurai, but judging from the way his friend talked about his partner, Nino was sure that Ohno would be good for him if they ended up together.
“Nino-” Aiba’s voice startled him. Nino raised his eyebrows. “You should make a move.”
“Yeah, sure, Aiba.” He thought. Even if Aiba didn’t say anything, he was determined to make a move.
He would stay away from Ohno.
*
Nino tried to remind himself that it wasn’t Ohno’s fault. Actually, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Falling in love is out of anyone’s control. It’s a matter of feelings and fate, maybe. In Nino’s case, his feelings made him fall in love with Ohno but it wasn’t his fate to end up with him.
He tried his best to avoid his senior, including eye contact. Even when Matsuoka, one of the senior in Ohno’s group, invited him for their usual collaboration, Nino rejected him politely. Staying in the same room as Ohno made him suffocated, so he didn’t even want to imagine how it would feel standing just a few centimetres away from him.
Nino couldn’t stop wondering why he had to sacrifice himself for someone else. Why didn’t he fight for the one he loved? Wasn’t he tired of being a connector between two people? Questions kept piling up in his head, yet he couldn’t find an answer to any of them, except one; yes, he was tired being a connector. After all, that was the reason why he decided to put some distance between him and Ohno.
But Ohno didn’t make it easy.
Nino thought he was alone in the music room and decided to play a song he had composed for his group. As he played the piano, his voice echoed across the room, full of emotion, creating a beautiful sound that could reach everyone’s heart.
He kept singing until the end, when he heard someone clapping behind him. He turned around and felt the blood rushing through his veins when he saw who the person standing there was, so he quickly turned away.
“That was beautiful; the song and your voice.” Ohno commented. Nino shrugged.
“Thanks.” He concisely replied and placed his scores into his bag, getting ready to leave the room.
“Maybe you can perform it for us in our next practice lesson?” Ohno insisted.
“Maybe. It’s still missing the final touches.”
“Do you need help with that?”
“No. Thank you. Sorry, Ohno. I have to go now. See you next time.”
Nino almost ran away from the room. Ohno was showing interest in a conversation with him but Nino refused to have it. According to his previous experiences, this was the moment when his love interest would say they had a crush on someone close to him, and he didn’t want to live that with Ohno. Not now. He wasn’t ready.
But before he could reach the door, Ohno spoke again.
“Why are you avoiding me, Nino?” He said.
Nino stopped on his tracks.
“I’m not-“
“Look at me, then-“ Ohno asked as he approached Nino. Nino did as he was told.
Just when Ohno stopped in front of him, he spoke again.
“You’ve been avoiding any kind of eye contact with me. You don’t want to join our collaborations anymore. Every time we happen to bump into each other, you quickly turn into the opposite direction. I was wondering if I did anything wrong”
Nino frowned. He could feel the honesty in his senior’s question, but at the same time he couldn’t help having his doubts. Ohno had asked Sho about Jun and that made him shiver in sadness. Why was Ohno still trying to have a conversation with him when his real interest was Jun?
Nino hated to think about that. He felt wasted. He felt used. Even though he had dealt with the same situation many times in the past, he would never get used to it. The pain was still the same, maybe even worst this time.
“No. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was me. Sorry. I need to go.”
Nino turned around, ready to leave. He didn’t want to prolong the conversation since his experience taught him that pleasant conversations could turn into painful moments.
Then, it happened so fast that Nino couldn’t understand what was going on. Suddenly, a hand grabbed his arm, forcing him to turn around only to fall into Ohno’s embrace. He could hear the other man’s heartbeat and his cheeks blushed as Ohno pulled him close to look at him. It was like one of those magical moments in the fairytales he read. In his head, he could even hear the chime of a bell when their faces got closer. He could feel the warmth of Ohno’s breath on his face as he anticipated a kiss that never happened, because Ohno stopped, pushing him away.
“Nino-“
No. Please don’t say what I’ve been afraid to hear all this time.
“Could I have-“
“Jun’s number?” was what Nino had thought.
“-your number?” Ohno finished his sentence.
Nino was speechless for a second but he couldn’t believe his ears, so he quickly typed his friend’s number in Ohno’s cell phone and before he ran away.
*
He waited for five hours.
When Jun’s phone finally rang, Nino held his breath as he slowly put on his earphones, since he refused to hear any conversation between Ohno and Jun
For god’s sake, he couldn’t bear the idea of being a connector again. Yes, Ohno asked for his number, but he couldn’t believe that magical moment would ever happen again. Otherwise, why on earth would have Ohno asked Sho about Jun?
Just before he had the chance to get lost in his own thoughts, Nino felt his earphone being pulled off. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Jun’s furious face, holding his phone on his right hand.
“What kind of game are you trying to play, Nino?” Jun’s voice sounded dangerously low and annoyed.
“What? I’m not-”
“Just because I said that Sho is a pain in the ass, doesn’t mean I want to change him for someone new. Especially, someone you love!”
“I-”
“Care to explain why he got my number instead of yours?”
“He-”
“He asked for your number, for god’s sake! After all we did, why are you trying to spoil everything?”
Jun didn’t let him to talk. Nino knew his friend was enraged and he understood why. The only thing he didn’t understand was Jun’s last statement but a knock on the door interrupted them before he could ask.
Nino was expecting Aiba to enter the room, forcing Jun to forget about the topic. He never thought it would be Ohno the one standing by his door, wearing a disappointed gesture on his face, even when he still looked so calm.
“Nino-” Ohno called him out, startling him. “It’s a lovely night. Would you like to go out for a walk with me?”
Nino blinked bewildered. He remained silent, freezing in his chair. Seeing he didn’t react, Ohno decided to take the initiative.
“Just to make sure you won’t push me to Matsumoto again-” He said, grabbing Nino’s hand and dragging him out of the room.
*
They walked along the lake by the college, enjoying the night breeze and each other’s warmth as they walked side by side. None of them said a word, they just enjoyed each other’s company.
Half an hour had passed when they finally took a seat in one of the benches by the shore. Still, none of them said a word.
Questions started to revolve inside Nino’s head. Was Ohno mad? Why were they at the lake? Was Ohno in love with him? The last question sent a rush of blood to Nino’s face, making him feel suffocated because the only possible answer was no. No, Ohno didn’t love him.
“Does it hurt that much?” Ohno asked, cutting Nino’s thoughts.
“Excuse me?”
“Being rejected. Does it hurt?”
“Well, I’ve never been rejected before. I can’t say I experienced it.” Nino replied, trying to act calmly.
“Why not?
“Because I’ve never confessed to anyone. I never got my chance.” Nino said, biting his lip. “I’ve fallen in love a few times but before I could say anything, my crushes asked me about my sister, cousins, friends or best friends. I’m just a connector.”
Nino frowned when he saw a smile forming in Ohno’s lips. It was dark but a lamp at the park allowed him to feel their eyes meeting and they stared at each other for a brief moment, until Nino decided to look away. He was glad that the darkness of the night hid the blush on his cheeks, caused by their eye contact.
“Well, in my case-” Ohno spoke again. “-was I?”
“Huh?” Nino asked, confused.
“I asked for this guy’s number but he gave me his friend’s number instead. I wonder…”
Ohno left his words hanging. He wasn’t really sure if Nino actually understood what he was trying to say. Deep inside, he wished he did.
“I guess that guy is an idiot. He had a chance but he totally spoiled it.”
“I wonder why?” Ohno asked.
“Maybe because he was afraid” Nino replied.
“Afraid of what?”
“Of living the same situation he lived in the past.” Nino clarified.
Ohno couldn’t help a sigh.
He had heard about Nino’s bad luck in love from Aiba and Jun when the three of them happened to have lunch together with Kazama and Sakurai. Ohno wasn’t the only one shocked about this, Kazama and Sakurai were flabbergasted.
“He talked about it is as if he were cursed,” Aiba said, after explaining the whole story. Three pairs of eyes were locked on him as he continued talking. “At this point, I’m sure he’s had enough.”
“Giving up?” Sakurai asked. Aiba nodded in response, making the man let out a long sigh.
“Say, Masaki-” Kazama spoke after listening to Aiba’s story. “-was I... I mean... were we Nino’s interest at some point?” he asked, pointing to Sakurai and himself. Once again, Aiba nodded.
Aiba didn’t mean to make them feel guilty but there was no point in hiding the truth now that they had heard the whole story. However, as hard as Kazama and Sakurai tried to push the thought away, they couldn’t, so they ended up turning to Ohno.
“You have to do something about this.” Sho began. “Stop being a coward.”
“But-” Ohno tried to protest, but Aiba cut him off.
“Trust me, Ohno. Nino would be glad if you asked him out. He’s been waiting for too long and I know how big his crush on you is, even when he never speaks about it and refuses to admit it whenever we ask.”
“What should I do?” Ohno asked. “He’s been avoiding me with all his might. I don’t understand why”
Jun chuckled. “Maybe he was jealous.”
Ohno frowned at those words, making Jun chuckle again. “But believe me, Ohno. We’d known Nino for years. Asking him out or maybe just for his phone number will do. He may look like a complicated person, but seriously, he’s not complicated at all.”
So Ohno did as they said.
But when he called Nino, it was Jun who answered the phone.
He was mad. He felt disappointed after all his efforts but he couldn’t really blame Nino because he was like Ohno himself; just a coward, too afraid to confess his feelings. Perhaps, both of them were afraid of being rejected.
It hurt too much. He thought that Nino was rejecting him. But then, Nino was right. How could someone get rejected if they didn’t confess in the first place?
“You know, Nino. I didn’t know when it started. But every time he appeared in my dreams, I woke up feeling happy,” Ohno said. His eyes were fixed on the lake, staring at the beautiful scenery.
“But you looked happy every day.” Nino commented. His tone showed a disbelief that made Ohno chuckled.
“I may be exaggerating. But he appeared every night in my dreams.” Ohno replied. “In those dreams, he was smiling. He played the piano and I could hear his lovely voice, then I reached out and he held it.”
He slowly turned to Nino. Their eyes met again as Ohno started to speak. “I wonder why I can’t do the same when I’m awake”
In the darkness, Nino could feel Ohno’s breath, knowing their faces were really close to each other’s. Ohno gently squeezed his hand and lingered his fingers on Nino's palm before wrapping him softly in his arms. Nino's heart was racing inside his chest as he wondered if the magical moment he’d been waiting for would finally come.
He knew he loved Ohno. He knew that if he had a chance with him, he would try to love again. He knew that if that happened, he would stop worrying about the past that had hurt him so badly. So, when Ohno brushed his lips against his, Nino allowed him to do it.
“Let me be the one, Kazu,” Ohno breathed against his skin. “Let me be the one for you.”
Nino pulled him softly, chuckling.
“Is this going to happen?” he asked.
He could barely see Ohno nodding in the darkness. Still, he continued.
“If this is going to happen, it’ll be my first kiss. Be warned, you may be disappointed,” he giggled.
“Well, then,-” Ohno replied, his lips forming a smile as he leaned in, pulled Nino close for a kiss. “-this is such an honour.”
*
OMAKE
When they saw Nino walking in their room, wearing a wide smile on his face, Aiba and Jun couldn’t help smiling as well.
“Ohno told me.” Nino said once he flopped on his bed, his heart racing with happiness as he remembered what he had just lived with Ohno. “You guys told him about my past.”
“Aren’t you going to thank us?” Jun smirked.
Nino shrugged, sighing when he saw the grin on his best friends’ face. “Well, thank you for being my connectors this time”
Aiba and Jun burst into laughter as they watched Nino blushing at his own words.
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comments and critics are welcome :)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2016-06-25 02:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-28 01:48 am (UTC)Thanks a lot for reading this. Your comment made my day :)
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Date: 2016-06-25 12:01 pm (UTC)Thank you for sharing this story. Since Nino's condition for being connectors and bad luck in love really same as my condition. And sometimes, that's really hurt when you see your friends around you have their boy or girlfriend. (TT -- TT)
Thank you for make me feel good with your story. I hope I can have same luck as Nino for have My Ohno. ^ - ^
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Date: 2016-06-28 02:52 am (UTC)thanks a lot for reading and commenting :)
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Date: 2016-06-25 12:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-28 03:01 am (UTC)thanks a lot for reading this <3
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Date: 2016-06-27 10:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-28 03:02 am (UTC)thanks a lot for reading and commenting :)
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Date: 2016-06-28 07:35 am (UTC)Lucky Ohno is there to save the day and Junba are such great friends hahah
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Date: 2016-06-28 08:03 am (UTC)thanks a lot for reading and commenting :)
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Date: 2016-07-08 02:23 pm (UTC)when nino avoiding ohchan really made me tear up isya ;-;
but thanks for the nice ending for them both 😆
i really like this story ❤
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Date: 2017-02-18 12:51 pm (UTC)